Hi pr glo: I was involved with my Paternal Grandmother's care, in her own home by my Dad and Stepmom, but it was pointed out to me by one of my Doctor's that the responsibility regarding an aging and perhaps demented parent, rests on the shoulders of the immediate children of that parent. It sounds as though one son has tried but found it to be too much and the other two are distancing themselves from the situation. This is happening in my family, as well. I am sole caregiver for my 73 yr. old Dad who has alzheimers, my brother has clearly stated that his first priority is his wife and children, while my sister chooses to distance herself by being completely hostile towards me. It sounds like you have a heart and want to see your aunt properly cared for. It may come to pass that the family doctor is correct in his assessment that your aunt is a danger to herself, at least, and may need to be institutionalized. You perhaps could assist by helping her shop for nursing homes, in order to get her the best possible care, preferably one with the more humanistic approach of not locking Alzheimers patients up, but rather, allow them freedom to move about
but they employ "minders", people who's job it is to standby and make sure everybody is allright and not a danger to themselves or other residents. It is very good of you to want to assist, but it is ultimately the responsibility of her children to see she is properly cared for. If they choose to distance themselves, then the state becomes involved through Protective Services for Elderly and Disabled. Trust me, they will abdicate the "shopping for a suitable placement" to you, if you are willing and able to assist.