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Paranoia with Alzheimer's

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Alzheimer's Disease
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Posted 2/4/2010 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
My father was diagnosed with AD a few years ago. He has become increasingly paranoid. He is supposed to have help with any financial decisions, but he has become paranoid about us knowing what he is doing. This may not sound so important, but he is making trades with money that we would like to keep to help care for him. We would love to be able to get help so that he could remain at home throughout the disease. He no longer is able to differentiate between 400 and 40000. It seems likely that he could make a BIG mistake.
This is a very sad disease in so many other, bigger ways, but if you have suggestions it would be appreciated.
When does a person with AD need to be declared incompetent? I think that would devastate my dad.

Thanks!
Stacey
Posted 2/4/2010 6:01 AM (GMT 0)
You should have gotton DPOA(power of attorney) long before now......If he's wasting money its time to step in & put a stop to it somehow........
Posted 2/4/2010 1:49 PM (GMT 0)
You can contact his doctor and talk with them how to proceed to declare him incompetent and even though it would devasate your father, you would be doing him a favor by taking over these decisions for him. I agree you should of had the POA when he was diagnosed and still somewhat lucid to make that decision.

Paranoia is part of AD unfortunately. My Gma would constantly hide things, forget where she put it and accuse my daughter of stealing it (she was always picking on my daughter for some reason). She would lock the doors all the time and I can not even tell you how many times she had locked me and my husband out of the house. Later when we moved her to the assisted living center, she would lock her door and the aides had to put duct tape over her catch so it wouldn't lock (they had to keep it unlocked in case of emergencies).

Your father is going to start doing increasingly erratic things and it's best to get the POA as soon as possible. How is he doing the trading? Online, phone contact, in person? Once you have the POA, call these instituitions up and tell them that he no longer able to make these trades. If he is doing it online, you may want to get his password and change it. Someone needs to step in and take over before he ends up losing all his money.
Posted 2/4/2010 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you. We do have POA. That was done around the time of diagnosis. He is trading online. I'm a bit fearful of his reaction if I tried to cut this off. He has been doing it his whole life. He still understands it pretty well. He just can't get numbers straight anymore. I'm surprised that we've had no major trading problems yet.
I don't know how the POA works. I thought that he would need to be declared incompetent for it to be in place. I don't even know if he IS incompetent. He can still do so MANY things. He can't carry on a conversation very well, because he has lost so many words. Yet much of his thinking is still quite good. He is still driving - but VERY slow.
Thank you for your thoughts and help!
Stacey
Posted 2/4/2010 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
It's good that you have POA and how I could tell that it was time for me to intercede on my Gma's behalf was when she lost the ability to make LOGICAL decisions. The POA works when that person is unable to think logically and cognitively for themselves. If the decisions they make can harm them or others and yes that includes financial. When in doubt, talk to his doctor and they can point you in the right direction if they can not offer advice themselves. I talked frequently with my Gma's doctor when she started declining and he was a huge help.

People with AD THINK they can do these things and that they have it all right. They can not tell the difference between what is the right way and wrong way anymore. They lose the ability to sort things out in their minds. And yes, it WILL hurt them them to have their independence taken away piece by piece and that is what makes this disease so horrible. It robs them of not only their lives but their piece of mind as well. It steals THEM. It is up to the caregivers to decide when it is the right time to take that piece of independence and no, it's not easy. In fact, it is an extremely hard thing to do. :(
Posted 2/4/2010 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
Sherry, thanks so much! Yes, it is just piece by piece and it is so hard. We will see the doc Mar 4 and hope that he will point us in the right direction. I so appreciate your help. It is comforting and SO sad to know that we are not alone. So sorry about your Gma.

Stacey
Posted 2/17/2010 5:16 PM (GMT 0)
Stacey, how is your father doing?
Posted 2/17/2010 6:41 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for asking Sherry! He is doing okay. He seems to have some days much better than others. He has always been a proud and in control man. So this is hard for him and for us. The paranoia continues to be a problem. We will see the neuro psychol on March 4th. I hope that he can point us in the right direction.
I know that the late stages of this disease must be so much worse than what we are dealing with here. I already find this so hard emotionally to deal with.
Thanks, Sherry!

Stacey
Posted 2/17/2010 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
We are not sure if my Gma had Alzheimer's or another form of dementia (most indicators pointed to Alzheimer's though) and I watched my Gma declined slowly and it was very hard. She lived with me for nearly 4 years (after the death of my Gpa) when I had to move her into an assisted living center. I loved my Gma dearly and it broke my heart to see her unable to do things she so proudly used to do before. She was also almost blind due to macular degeneration, then her hearing went and she also developed bladder cancer (went thru chemo and radiation). She always had a smile on her face regardless of how many obstacles were put before her. But having her lose her mind was the toughest thing of all. My mother died when I was 10 years old but my Gma (my mom's mom) was always there for me growing up. To watch my proud, independent, strong grandmother lose her ability to do simple things such as brushing her teeth brought me to tears. My Gma died last December and I find peace in knowing that she is once again whole and with my Gpa but dang do I miss her!

You are not alone in this because there are so many of us out there that have loved ones suffering from this horrible disease. So please do not hesitate to share your concerns here and please keep us updated on the status of your father ok?
Posted 2/18/2010 2:38 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Sherry! You have really been through it all. I am so sorry.
Stacey
Posted 2/18/2010 8:58 PM (GMT 0)
Stacey
would a simple solution not be in taking the computer away and as POA selling all his shares.
I take it he spends alot of time on the computer looking at how his investments are doing.
The issue you may have will be when he loses this freedom.But what you have to remember is that one day he could invest in the wrong company and buy to many shares and lose the lot.
Posted 2/18/2010 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the thoughts! I know, it should be easy. The money is my father's. He has worked hard for it and it is so important to him. It is the only thing he is getting much enjoyment from. I think we will have to have support from his doctor to take this step. AD seems to have many stages or levels. He still has a lot left. We are trying to stay on top of what he is doing. I just hope that his doctor will know if or when it is time and can help us. We can't get rid of the computer (he would then use the phone), because we are trying to keep a small business going. We are not in the terrible stage of AD, like Sherry has described to me. What is going on here should be easy, but he is still very much with us.

Stacey
Posted 2/18/2010 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
I thought this might be the case.
What ever you decide it will be very hard for you to make that decision.
You could put a password on your computer and as mentioned before phone up the relavant brokers that you have POA and that he is unable to trade .All depends how strong you are at tackling this issue which sounds small. but to you it will be a big issue to tackle.
Dont leave it to long as time is what we dont all have and eventually he will worsen.
Posted 2/24/2010 3:51 PM (GMT 0)
I think after a person is diagnosed with Alzheimer's any financial decisions they make are null and void because they're considered incompetent to reason.
Posted 2/24/2010 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
I made sure hubby had POA so whenever there's a need he can use it......We don't have to be incompetit for them to use it.Hubby was able to use it when I had surgery last year.It sure helps to have back up,lol.......
Posted 2/24/2010 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
People are NOT immediately incompetent upon diagnosis of Alzheimer's. It is difficult to tell sometimes, as in our case. Some of the person's brain may be failing while other parts are not so effected. People are diagnosed very early on with some memory problems. When my father was first diagnosed he was just forgetting names and some words. That really did not render him incompetent to make important decisions.
It is a difficult path.

Stacey
Posted 2/26/2010 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
When my Gma was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's she was pretty much still there. She was only doing odd random things but for the most part she could make her own decisions and was quite lucid. When she was diagnosed with bladder cancer, I would take her to the oncologist and the doctor would talk to me like she wasn't there. I did NOT like that at all. He would ask me questions and I would simply say "I don't know, why don't you ask her." And with a look of mild suprise they would. She was still competent and able to make her own decisions but many people, doctors included, think that once a person is diagnosed with AD that the can not make logical decisions on their own anymore. So even though the person may still be competent, many think that they can't understand. So no, you are not automatically incompetenet upon diagnosis however AD is not really known that well by the public. They know the name of the disease and what it is but there is a stigma associated with it that people automatically assume that the person can't think for themselves anymore.
Posted 4/5/2010 3:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there just read this now
i went thru long hospital stay life support total memory loss but hv gained 90 percent back
thru this i could not remember or process codes n passwords
i had to give daughter who turned 17 today rights for banking
before i did this my dil used my card when they came from alberta here for my hospital stint and in 2 mths went thru my parents money left to me not knowing this at the time
i now like i said am getting memory back a second chance but i will not recover all
Red is spot on a specialist with my cd was not talking to me or looking at me he instead looked to daughter for words
i very nicely said excuse me i am deaf i do not have mental health issues and im sure you can take an xtra 10 minutes to WRITE down what you want to do and the WE WILL discuss it furthermore my daughter doesnt know how many potty runs i make n what my stools look like so ASK ME
This way of medical thinking and docs doing this has to change i was so angry i really felt like slapping him up side his 30 yr old head at one point but lol
refrained
i had some major issues with being paranoid when i was home alone and would covet the couch not do anything not even get on puter
How be you ask if you can be put on his info for reasons due to health n legalality
just a few thoughts
i sure hope things work out
would he be upset if you were put on his banking stuff
made poa
know we r here
blessings
lyn

I need to add it was for my own selfish reasons at first not wanting my cait to have poa over me yet lol but came to realize it was for the best in long run ya know i will keep you n your dad in my thoughts n prayers
lyn
Posted 4/7/2010 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
I do have a POA, but don't yet feel like I should take it all away. He is giving in somewhat to some of the things the doctor wants him to do. He is limiting his activity (by choice). And we've put passwords on some accounts. Hopefully he will never notice. My dad isn't incompetent. That isn't to say that he couldn't make a terrible mistake. I just so want this time that he has left to be enjoyable and not angry and depressed. We are making some headway. Dad is not near the end or in bad shape yet. The paranoia seems to come and go. It seems reasonable almost, because he just can't remember what happened to things.
So difficult and yet so much worse to come.
I hope that one day there will be an answer/cure!

Thanks!
Stacey
Posted 4/8/2010 2:15 PM (GMT 0)
AMEN to that hun
huggs
lyn
Posted 4/8/2010 2:46 PM (GMT 0)
All the time on the computer & trading could be causing him stress which makes the disease worse.......Fun time is 100% better............
Posted 4/8/2010 3:00 PM (GMT 0)
The only thing that has ever given my dad enjoyment is working and making money. I know it's very sad and I hope that we can find new things together to enjoy. He is trying to keep things more simple to alleviate the stress. You are right on about the stress though. I can see a big difference with him on days that he keeps life a little simpler. He is trying to stay busy with yard work and things around the house.
Thanks!
Stacey
Posted 4/8/2010 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
I hope he continues in the working in nature always good for the mind n soul imho
be well
huggs
lyn
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