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Husband showing signs of Alzheimer’s and bad behavior

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Alzheimer's Disease
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Posted 7/7/2015 9:12 AM (GMT 0)
Today, my husband of 27 years just went completely insane on me, so much in fact, the cops, the ambulance, family, friends, all had to come to my rescue...because he literly tried to "KILL ME". I'm 56 years old, he's almost 70 and over the last few years, he's been through cancer, heart attack to losing his colon to a ostomy bag and I have been there for him....all the way. So when I saw him go from this docile nice okay guy to running the streets and living like he's trying to complete a "bucket list", I thought nothing of it, I'm figuring this guy is retired, he's just beat cancer, heat attack, that he just wants to have fun....but that fun was turning dangerous.....so I told him that he needs to calm down a bit....the next morning, I'm awaken because he can't find his car keys.....that was at 8am this morning, its now 5am the next morning, he's gone to a hotel, because I had to put him out...he became this monster of a beast, accused me of everything under the sun, I'm in complete shock...he swears I have his keys, he's swears, I forced him to watch porn????, I mean all kinds of crazy crap is coming out his mouth and I'm terrified...like what happened??????
My nightmare is just beggining because I know longer feel safe with him around me...the only reason I thinks its AZ because when the abulance was called, they took him to er and his daughter said that he was just saying all kinds of mean things about me? and the dr's suggested he see his primary care doctor to get a real diagnosis..they all think its AZ...
Please are there similar stories out here like this or am I just grabbing for straws....I can't go another round taking care of this guy, I work, I have to take care of my sanity and safety...please help me.
Posted 7/7/2015 12:15 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like you're in a tough and dangerous situation. Have you talked to his daughter about all this? Is there someone you can stay with?
Posted 7/7/2015 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
Sherry, he went to a motel last night, because of my feelings of being unsafe. Today our daughter who also lives with us is taking him to see his primary care doctor to see what's really going on. At this point, he is no longer welcomed back into my home. And from what my daughter has said, he's more than willing to move out and go our separate ways. I am percieved as his enemy and he wants to leave....something I wasn't prepared for, but am willing to ablige. I've been his care giver for the last 5 years and I'm tired. I have now got to focus on me and both my mental and physical health....I'm just in a state of shock right now, trying to piece this nightmare together....one day, I'm all is okay and now this?????? I just can't wrap my brains around this sudden maddness.
Posted 7/7/2015 5:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, it's just my opinion, but i think your spouse has issues that don't involve dementia.

Life threatening problems and major surgery have an effect on people's personalities. He's had several major surgeries for life threatening ailments. Another way of looking at it is he's faced his mortality several times.

Making a bucket list doesn't sound like he has memory issues. He's made a lifestyle list and he will protect that list to the point of theatening you.

He needs counceling, but you need to protect yourself.
Posted 7/7/2015 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
There's a part two to this madness.....today his daughter took him in for an evaluation and throughout the process, he keeps accusing me of forcing him to watch ****????????? The telling of this bizzare crap, had the evaluators concerned and suggested he see a psychiatrist.....now whether or not he has ALZ or Demitia, is up in the air, but clearly the guys delusional. I've never done any of the things he keeps accusing me of, never. If anything and this is what's breaking my heart to know end, I've cared for this man for the last 5 years and worked a full time job and my reward is to become the thorn in his side in less than a day???????? My daughter, throughout the day, has called and told me, "Mom, I can't believe how much daddy hates you", she called me in tears saying this? How do I adjust to this madness?
Posted 7/7/2015 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
It sounds like an acute problem rather than a dementia (I have worked in psychiatry for 30 years). That's not to say there is no underlying dementia but he sounds very delusional, so it is prudent to get a psychiatric assessment to screen for other things. Could he have a delirium? Alzheimers tends to come on more insidiously. Fingers crossed for you and hope the assessment brings up something treatable.
Posted 7/7/2015 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
My daughter is telling me that they want to medicate him and set up follow up appointments...but he's refusing. I'm pretty much out of the picture, so I'll just have to cross my fingers and hope he gets what ever help he needs...at this point, I'm done. I'm gonna brush my feelings aside and try to get over this maddness.....praying that I myself don't end up with a depression over this....27 years and out of the blue, the nightmare...no warnings, nothing....its pretty sad.

But thanks for all you advice.
Posted 7/9/2015 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
Munch, we're trying to get him in to see a psychiatrist, but we can't make the appointments, he has to be the one???? Which is never gonna happen, please what can I do to force this guy into getting medicated so that we can breath again.....please help us
Posted 7/10/2015 11:03 AM (GMT 0)
Has your husband actually been diagnosed with Alzheimer's? If the police took him into custody for assaulting you, and this is documented, you may be able to have him committed to a nursing facility if it's documented he has Alzheimer's and attacked you.

Your story is similar to something that happened to someone I know. Her husband was diagnosed with Dementia. He tried to strangle her one morning without warning. A neighbor saved her life by calling the police. He wound up on the lock down ward of a nursing home and spent the last several years of his life there.

You might want to consult with the doctor involved this case, plus a lawyer if a court order is needed.

Posted 7/10/2015 12:34 PM (GMT 0)
You don't need a lawyer if the police grab him. A few words from a doc and an understanding Judge and DA can get him committed to a "loony bin" for evaluation.

It took my sister a year to get our dad into an assisted living place. First week there he walked out and into a neighborhood across the street. He scared some poor lady to death.. It was almost funny how the police knew where he came from.

Few hours later he was admitted to a State run mental hospital (loony bin-my words). He's been in a full lock down facility ever since.
Posted 7/10/2015 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
I just got the risperidone and he's taken it......7 hours trying to get this from the doctors hand to the pharmacy.....7 hours!!! I hope this pill calms him down a bit. I'm exhausted and tired. I just found out that I can get a MIW and this will be last resort. Please pray for us and wish us luck
Posted 7/10/2015 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
If it's anything like prozac, it can take several days for it to kick in.
Posted 7/11/2015 12:09 AM (GMT 0)
I do know its a anti psychotic drug and that its suppose to desolve quickly into the blood stream...he's taken the first of many to follow so far and so far, he seem calmer...I guess. He's still festive and always on the go..always doing something...but he seems calmer, I think???? Anyways, I'm still sleeping with knives and protection, I just don't know.
Posted 7/12/2015 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, bless your heart! First off, if it's a sudden change like this, and a once loving husband suddenly wants to kill you or accuses you of terrible things, know that your husband cannot help it. He's dealing with a medical problem. My dad, our Alzheimer's patient, had a sudden turn similar to this, and it turned out that he had a raging infection that affected his brain, heart, about everything, all that on top of what had been mild Alzheimer's symptoms. He suddenly forgot that my mother had died and was asking where she was. I eventually called an ambulance and he was hospitalized. Any time an elderly patient gets an infection, especially with dementia, this can happen, according to his doctors and hospital staff.

When he first started this episode my brother took to him to a doctor who dropped the ball big-time, putting him on lorazepam which made Daddy worse. Said brother then brought him to me because they couldn't control him, and left. A few harrowing days later, waiting for an appointment to a different doctor, he became unmanageable and we then called an ambulance. He didn't know what he was doing and it wasn't his fault, but it still can be dangerous when they're like this.

Did they run any tests to check for underlying infections or other non-psychological tests? Has he seen a neurologist? His family physician or someone needs to get him into a neurologist ASAP if not. You should NOT be staying alone with him under these circumstances. Whether it's Alzheimer's or another illness doesn't matter; he most likely doesn't know what he's doing, but he could kill you or someone else just the same. For both your sakes, he needs to be evaluated by a competent neurologist, not just a psychiatrist.
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