mother-in-law

My mother-in-law has Alzheimers Disease. She is driving me crazy. She lives very close to me and my husband. She comes over every day. When she is confused she stays for hours. She stays for lunch. She usually does this when my husband is at work. She is so bored. I do not think she can read a long book anymore. I know she can not cook and I am beginning to think she can't run a microwave. I think she is in the moderate stages of the disease. She started taking Aricept 2 weeks ago. I have seen improvement in her symptoms but I know it can't fix her and it probably can not give her back what is lost. (like her ability to add and subtract.)

I have questions , but I know they are unanswerable. How long does she have? (before we have to think of serious care for her.) And what on Earth do I do to entertain her? I am ashamed to admit I have just told her to go away sometimes.

There is alot I would like to say, but I myself lose interest in long posts. So thanks for listening.

Hi Lyn, thanks for writing back .....makes me feel welcome.     not many resources in this town. But I am looking into someone coming in a couple hours a week to cook and do some of the more strenuous housework. (she also has arthritis, she is 70) There is this crazy thing about not telling them they have AD so I have just asked her if it is OK to have some one come in and help with housework. She has mentioned the aricept TV commercial and alzheimers but hasn't flat out asked me if she has it. I guess no good can come from telling her she has it and frankly she would probably forget I said it anyway.

I don't know for sure that we won't be taking her in. Mother and son (my husband) are very close and we have always lived near her. (20 years) The problem I have is she has always been extremely critical and overbearing with me. (and everybody else too) And now she seems to have coveinately forgotten all of that and relies heavily on me for just about everything. I do her checkbook , give her rides, help her pay bills, feed her lunch and more. I can not help but feel this is a test from above. My husband is in complete denial of his Mother's condition. I know this is very painful for him. He has asked me to return to work. I have been a stay-at -home mom for the last two years. I have 1 child that I had late in life. He thinks his Mom can babysit while I go back to work. You don't have to tell me that I can not let this happen. I do know about AD, I worked in a Alz. unit for a few years. It is just that all my Alz. training has seemed to go out the window because I am so close to the situation. And I am learning so much that my training didn't teach me. Like she can be almost normal one day and seem incapable of anything the next. It is so frustrating.

I have defiately talked enough. But I want to thank you for the word "habit" I had forgotten how important a routine is to her. Maybe I can revise her schedule (she carries a day planner with her at all times) to get myself a little more free time.  I love my mother-in -law because she has been part of my life for so long and she is not all bad, there are just days that I want to move out of the state.