Posted 9/16/2007 10:01 PM (GMT 0)
Good morning all,
I was not going to post again as my posts are always too lengthy, but I have been on the computer since returning from the nursing home this morning. Where my daughter and her friends are on their tour of SE Asia is FAR TOO CLOSE to the crash landing of a plane in Phuket, Thailand, news I awoke to early this morning and am continuing to get updates on. It doesn't help that some of the news reports say that besides the 2004 tsunami in the same area has there been such a tragedy. Now 2 things to fixate on if I allow myself to. I keep checking their website to see if anything has been posted such as "Mom, I'm fine, we all are!" I should be used to this with her. When she returned from a journalism seminar in Ney York City while in high school she was showing me many of the pictures she had taken, reserving some as ones she thought I may not want to see which, of course, made me HAVE to see them. And there was a beautiful picture of Leslie, standing on the observation deck of the first World Trade Center tower on the afternoon of September 9th, a mere 2 days before the horrific attacks. My stomache ache has never really gone away after that one! I can't dwell as she is living her life and is old and mature enough to make sound decisions that I respect. (I still hope, though, that even though they are staying in the hub of the best climbing areas in the world, Railey Beach in Thailand, that she has not started climbing yet and is giving herself sufficient time to recover from her two emergency surgeries undergone 6 days before they left!!
One of main reasons for writing is not what I just wrote, but to address to Padraig first about the difficulty dressing Jean. You are probably aware of this being the gifted and knowledgeable caretaker you are.....but have you looked in to the clothing especially made for people with various needs? I bought my mom several nightgowns that she could literally walk right into, not having to lean over, bend her arms, and nothing over the head. All the fasteners were in the back. Several of the shirts/blouses I dressed her in during the day were made similarly: the front was made to resemble a "normal" blouse with a button placket down the front, collar etc., but the real closures were again in the back. All I had to do was have her put out her arms and then in one move I could get the blouse onto her and then when brushing her hair I would fasten the back. Looking at her clothed, you could not tell her clothing was any different from anybody else so I never worried that she may become embarrassed being seen out at church or in the stores etc. Pants were more of a challenge, except I did find wonderful stretch velvety cordouroy that had a slick enough lining that they could be pulled up very easily. She didn't have to bend her knees for me to get them on, I would do that while she was sitting and then when helping her up I would pull them the rest of the way up. She loved the pants because they were cozy feeling, the touch on her skin, both inside and out was nice for her, and when she was in a hurry to get to the bathroom we could get those down and out of the way quickly. As for her coats, I just started cutting. I sewed the fronts shut so they could not be unbuttoned and then cut up the entire back, adding velcro as fasteners. Again, then, to put on a coat was merely a matter of literally walking right into it and there was no more struggle trying to get her to bend her arms. I did that with several of her sweaters and lightweight jackets as well. So, hope that wasn't redundant information, but maybe something that could be helpful.
SLEEP: I have never been a great sleeper and when I was exhausted from a day of caring for mom and dad I would very often struggle with sleep, waking up feeling wiped out in the morning. I started doing simple yoga breathing at night, and also found an herbal tea. Between that and telling myself like a mantra every night: "This day is now over. Mom and Dad are safe and happy, asleep. Whatever tomorrow brings is not up to me. Take advantage of this quiet time to sleep, no worries of tomorrow." Sounds a bit simplistic and even corny, but it helped me because other wise I would think of all that needed to be done the next day, how behind I had already been, and then my mind wouldn't shut down.
On a last note, excuse the pun here, music again today with my friends at the nursing home, drawing a larger crowd. I have always known that music is very important and that hearing music would almost always calm mom if she was agitated, or would enliven her if she was waning. Today I played the jazz and blues New Orleans style and really had my crowd going. I was thrilled! My arms truly ached after playing the piano so vigorously but their reactions said so much to me, their happiness, joy at being included.....so the hands and arms kept going.
I will sign off with hopes that Mary is finally starting to get some sleep, some true restful sleep, and maybe mastering the daytime cat naps as Padraig said he did, that her husband is doing better, that Lyn is remembering to take care of herself and not just everyone else, and that Padraig is warming up to the idea of a new computer. Blessings to all, Linda