Padraig......My Wife....My Story ..Part 2

Sis
It took 3 hrs to get a chest xray and then they could not find a vein for iv to rehydrate lol

NO KIDDING <>>>>>>LOL

I was about 5 and a half hrs there
My family doc went and got married this past wknd so he is not around or I would have gone the hour to see him ya know ........when at hospital a critical case came in ...........one doc in all of Hospital so I left will go back today for the results but I have had this dang pneumonia a few times so my bet thats what it is ...........Knock on wood crohns not acting up nor sores ............Gotta to be that wonderful HOT tea you send me ........

LUVS ya
God Bless
SIS

Hi Lyn, Mary, Linda and fellow carers. Lyn you're sure being tested. I expect you ask your self at time what else can I be hit with? When ever I see Pnuemonia I wonder why it's not spelt Newmonia and if there ever was Oldmonia what ever happened to that. It's time for you to take a long rest and let the siblings have a go for as long as you require to recover.
How I'd love, to be able to watch someone take on my roll for a few days. Just to let them see what 24/7 caregiving is all about. It's never going to happen if I can help it, but there are times I find it frustrating
dealing with people who have no idea about caregiving for a loved one with AD. When asked: "How come you don't get stressed?" I reply: "I dismiss from my mind, any person or thing that's a problem which can not be resolved. Always take something positive from what might appear to be a bad situation."
Lyn, you've had a seizure and I see you've taken on board what others suffer with them. I'll never experience what Jean went through, when she had three of them. They appear to be common with AD.
I've known Jean since she was 17, but keep wishing I'd known her as a child and telling her so. Yesterday, like most days as I hoist her on to her high chair for a meal, she acts like a child impatient to eat. I tried to comfort her with a kiss, she opened her mouth for food! I was caught between laughing and crying, then I knew I had my wish, I had my warm loving child! How few are as blessed as I?
Mary, I'm praying that you're looking to your strengths, the years as a Nurse, the years of
marrige and with age comes wisdom. Of course everything in life is a two edged sword. I've found using the blunt side frustrating but learning curve.
Linda, what a difference from your cold weather. I'm about to get Jean up, hoist her into the w/chair and take her for a walk on this nice warm sunny afternoon. Enjoy your warm cosy fire, with snow outside as a backdrop.
May I wish you all well and may your God go with you. Padraig

Thanks Linda for always keeping me in your heart 'it means the world to me

Luvs ya sis

LYN ...........

Ooops . . . you were GETTING fluids, not giving them. Well, then it really was because you were dehydrated!! I guess we can improve our overall health by drinking lots of water. The body is better able to function in every respect and it helps the body get rid of all the waste from our meds etc. Hang in there!

G Padraig
Hoping you are feeling alot better and are getting some rest ..............

I say a "Special Little Prayer" for you and G Jean nightly......

Butterfly kisses
God Bless and
LUVS
LYN n CAIT

THanks sis
I will check it out shortly

Had quite the day today with Cait n boyfrined .........on A/P forum under " you know u are veating anxiety when.................lol

What a day I say but sure am proud of kiddo for steping up

Luvs ya sis sooo much

SIS

Sweetie
I am sorry I am crying a few tears here for you as I post

YOU DID ALL you could for both of them....know and accept it

I am so glad you are taking ashes to his homestead
Do u have anything to mellow you out for this ......it will be heartwrenching but then again it will be a Heart of

ALWAYS in my heart thoughts and prayers sis

Luvs you
Let me know how you are plz

Luvs
LYN/sis

Hi Lyn, Mary, Linda and fellow carers. I've just completed a long post, pressed submit and was cut off, so here goes again. I've had a busy few days with an Engineer servicing our central heating system, before winter sets in. After the first day's work, when I switched on the heating for hot water it also turned on the radiators! After 8hrs work yesterday there was no change, the hot water switch also turns on the central heating! Four hours work today, I can now switch the hot water on separately, but not the heating! To have the heating I must also switch the water on!
It appears I now require an Electrician to check the wiring!
I've also had a visit from Jean's Psychologist's to monitor her condition and to be enterained (his words). He's been ill for some weeks, said he thought of me and wondered how I'd cope, if I became ill as he was. I told him I'd manage somehow even if it meant crawling on all four. It came as a surprise to find he'd bought my book. I was only too pleased and honoured to 'do him a favour and sign it'. He suggested I look up 'Artane Industrial School' on the internet. Must say what I found was very disturbing as it bore out the facts in my book and much more. So much abuse to children was swept under the rug for decades. It came as no surprise to me that no one from my era had written of their experiences. I've found I can not bring myself to read my own book once written, too dark a place to go.
The experience has allowed me to see all the beauty around us and best of all to experience the power of love. By tapping into to it, it's given me a strength I never knew, to lovingly care for Jean for as long as it takes.

Lyn, Like many others I'm hoping you're being kind to yourself by taking it easy and letting the siblings shoulder the burden of caring. You'll be doing yourself a favour. How's your Dad doing? If he sees you looking better he'll feel it also.

Linda, I'm hoping you've recovered from your long drive to your Dad's homestead, also along memory lane. Your Mom and Dad made you into a wonderful person you are indeed blessed by them.
You can still have dreams, turning the bad experiences into something positive along the way.

Mary, How is your Husband settling in at the new place. Let's hope all the hassle has stopped, we don't need that in the winter of our years. That's not to say we can't still dream and fight for our dreams. Your in my thoughts and prayers, God love you.
When you feel all alone, remember the caregivers all around the world are all very special people like you. May your God go with you. Padraig

Hi Lyn, Mary, Linda and fellow carers. It seems a lifetime ago (over 12yrs) since the first signs of Alzheimer's appeared. Like most people living with a loved one, I failed to notice the small changes. The sudden and bigger changes which came later were the ones I found frustrating and hardest to deal with. There was no handbook came with the illness. What I did received was a box containing a jigsaw puzzel, all in pieces. The worst part was it contained no picture, just all white! Like many caregivers I tried forcing pieces together. In time I learned to be patient and imagined how I'd feel in her shoes. I'd stopped feeling sorry for myself and 'my' loss and entered her world. Now our hearts beat as one, I feel her loneliness and keep reminding her of my happiness in looking after her.
I followed the normal route laid down by the experts, which is still being touted by stages and treated with drugs. The drugs were for the damage done by the system. That is to say for depression (who wouldn't be depressed?) Them pain killers for pressure sores. I've got to admit I was so scared when I found I could no longer watch her give up the will to live.
It was as much for my pain as hers that I decided, only I could care for her in her final hours. Hard to imagine I held her hand comforting her: 'it's OK to let go, to meet your folk and that I'll be along later".
We've been through the hell stages that so many others have gone through and are experiences. We're now in peaceful and plesant waters. Jean is my baby, sleeps a lot, wakes up sees I'm there and closes her eyes again. Oh how I wish I could help others to understand, even only a little in order to share in the peace I've found.
We've been out shopping today as usual.
I've just got to get on with this second book which deals with the mindset of the caregiver and the loved one as I've experienced.
I'll be happy to sign and send you a copy of the book, please E-mail me.
You never mentioned how you're coming along and how is yor Dad?
May your god go with you. Padraig

Good evening all!
My sojourn across several states to be with my friend and to visit the homestead my Dad spoke of so often was great....emotional but great. I am still in Montana, no plans to head home for at least three weeks as there is lots I can do here to help. And how difficult a job: holding, staring into the eyes of, and snuggling a new life!!!! I am in some kind of heaven here, even considering the fact that I volunteered all cooking duties for as long as I am there which is proving to be a light challenge because after losing Mom and Dad I had to learn to cook for one and that is a lot different than cooking for a family. Interesting how quickly one can forget a simple meatloaf recipe or the best temp. to roast a tender beef!! It reminds me daily of Mom as she was such an incredible cook always. Being head cook of the 2 restaurants they owned during the first 26 years of their marriage, and being the Dean of Home Economics at several different universities, having a very successful gourmet catering business "on the side", it is an understatement to say she was a real cooking and baking legacy. Why people assume this skill is hereditary, even when I am adopted which makes that assumption even more ludicrous, is beyond me. I do my best, they eat it all and ask for more so I am content.
Thank you for your kind words concerning the visiting of the homestead and scattering of ashes. Yes, Lyn, I had a plan for afterwards which included a wonderful bottle of local wine, perfectly chilled, to be sipped while sitting on my Dad's army blanket which I carry in the car always, and used to luciously wash down some incredible oatmeal lace cookies I baked for Dad. Great plans are just that....great plans!! I am really not much of a drinker, hardly at all, so I didn't think to include a corkscrew, the wine glass was still sitting on my friend's counter, and because I am adamant about never ever ever drinking even a little before driving, it turned out that I read to Dad, told him the current adventures of the grandchildren and great grandchildren and took the wine back to be enjoyed by someone else later. I am so glad I went to the place, it gave me a much clearer picture of where he grew up, the remoteness and how evident it was to me why he was unable to attend highschool until he was 19 because of the distance and his family's inablity to pay to have him board with a family in town. Then I was off, back over the beautiful mountains to my friend's home. The drive from my home to hers 8 days ago was of staggering beauty: bright red leaves, brilliant golden trees that seemed afire, fir trees amidst all the vivid color, and all this juxtaposed against the backdrop of the Rocky Mountains dusted in snow. Breathtaking!!
Padraig, I took my copy of your book to share with J and her husband who read it out in his truck so he wouldn't be disturbed, came in and was visibly moved by the story but far too much on the rodeo, roping and bullriding macho train to admit his feelings Several others have read it too and there have been some orders placed. Wonderful!
AGAIN, with the excess wordiness, sorry, AGAIN!! Be well, take care of each other, find some beautiful colors to captivate and energize and be well!
Linda

Thanks for sharing this with us sis
I am so proud of you and it was not pity money sweetie it was money well spent on you and your perseverence

I am always trying to do things as well to help with research and Supporting the AD society

It is the ROCK I have come to know as my other home and the ppl there are fantastic

Loves to all and will yak later



G Padraig

I will email you on sunday .......have been busy being sick this is first time on for a couple of days other than a couple of posts done rather quickly

Am still fighting being sick but resting so much lately I FEEL lazy

Butterfly Kisses
God Bless
Luvs
LYN

Dear Lyn, Padraig, Linda and others,
Have just read your post, Padraig, and in answer to your last line, "I wonder how Mary is doing," I'm not doing well at all. Not only do I need and appreciate your prayers, but I need some advice, too.
The ex-wife continues to visit my husband and acts like No. 1 wife, taking over with staff, buying him pjamas and continues to tell him - as do his children - that since I am a nurse, I should be taking care of him in his own home. I'm pretty sure she has some degree of dementia; she has Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease resulting in poor oxygen suply to the brain, and I think I have to put up with that. But the eldest daughter: I wonder if I should see a lawyer about a restraining order, or threat of a restraining order. Actually, the most effective measure would be to have her interference cost her money - that is what makes her tick.
The latest incident was a note she gave my husband to give to me. First, I should explain that my husband has a summer cottage on one of the Gulf Islands; he hasn't been well enough to visit it for the past three years. I've paid the phone bill, hoping that maybe one of his children would take him there for a few days - it is his favourite spot on earth. This past summer, he gave his eldest daughter the key and asked her to check out the cottage when she was over there (she, the ex-wife and his two other children rent a house on the same island for August). When I got the phone bill, there were several long distance phone calls charged - about $50.00 worth, and the phone numbers were not those of members of the family in Vancouver. I assume they belonged to friends of the eldest daughter. I talked it over with my husband and suggested that the phone be disconnected. He agreed.
In the daugher's note, she had a list of things she wanted me to do. One was that she had "talked it over with Daddy, and he wants the Saturne phone reconnected."
I'm wondering if I should go back to my lawyer? She had said originally, when his children started to send me hatefilled e-mails, that in her experience, it would be better if I could just ignore them, that we could make things worse by taking legal action. Well, it's been two months now, and I don't see it getting much better. I've lost sleep, I'm not eating, and I don't want to visit my husband because of them. Any advice, please?
Mary

Dear Lyn, Padraig and Linda,
Thanks for your encouragement. Hope to get see my lawyer this week (she has joint Power of Attorney with me) and will take in my "Poison file" that my doctor told me to keep with its accumulation of hate e-mails and notes left in my husband's room designed to intimidate me. I am hopeful that we can put a stop to this. Will also see a psychologist this week, too. I need all the help I can get.
Love,
Mary