Dear Lyn,
It's been far too long since I have checked in to see how folks are doing. Naturally there are "excuses" but none really excuse me from appearing to forget. Any bumps in the road I am stumbling over right now are surmountable, and "fixable."
I worry about
you, Lyn, as all this family interference continues as your health continues to take these nosedives. The best scenario, of course, would be for you to take yourself away from all this and go off by yourself for weeks of relaxation on a pure white beach, being served fancy drinks with colorful umbrellas by very nice looking, tanned and sculpted men, your every wish seen to, falling asleep with the sounds of the waves crashing, and waking for an appointment for another long and soothing massage. The next best scenario would be that it would be ME in that wonderful place
I really liked the visualization exercises Rosie shared. I have had similar methods given to me before and even though at times I thought it seemed far too simplistic, and therefore a waste of time......when I took the time to try it, I found it easier and easier for those techniques to come naturally and it did provide me real relief! Good for Rosie for sharing that. It is something we could all use and benefit from, and not just in times of crisis, but with the everyday "garbage" that seems to take over our lives sometimes.
To add to that, here are a few things I often use like a mantra when I am feeling overwhelmed and
can't seem to focus:
~~Imagine that a deeply profound ocean of calm exists in you and is not affected by all the turbulence.
~~Imagine that you are centered and totally at peace.
~~Imagine that you are looking at the world with knowingness and peace.
~~Imagine that you are not affected by criticism.
~~Imagine that in your presence all hostility is overcome by a profound peace.
~~Imagine that you are detached from the outcome
~~Imagine that love radiates from you like light from a bonfire.
~~~Imagine that the right answer comes to you spontaneously whenever you are confronted by any situation or question or criticism.
~~Imagine that you know exactly what to do in every situation.
And if all else fails, imagine yourself on the soft white sand beach, with the intoxicating smells of the sea water, the ocean breezes, the sounds of birds speaking to each other......... and the smell of that exotically handsome cabana boy bringing you the fruity drinks with umbrella decorations, smiling at you and making you feel like the most beautiful woman on the beach!
Take care of yourself, Lyn, something I believe we are all telling you. It is too easy to forget about
ourselves when having so much to deal with. It's almost like a narcotic, that adrenaline rush from blowing up at the interfering family (good for you, Lyn!), from rushing to get to the end of chores on that long list, and working so hard to keep, find or maintain peace. After a few days that wears off and the fall comes, making you feel even worse than before. Your health is of paramount importance and you have to know your Dad would want you to be caring for yourself. I know it's hard, can almost make you feel selfish to stop and take care of your own needs, but it is important.
Love, positive energy, and good thoughts coming your way from here in Oregon. Linda.