WHAT WOULD YOU DO

Hi Dave z here.  My mother-in-law is 87 years old and has been in a alzheimer's nursing home for the past 5 years.  She is presently in a phase where she thinks that she is at bording school.  When my wife visits her, she refers to her as mom, not as her daughter.  Yesterday my mother-in-laws remaining sister passed away.  Our family now must make an informed decision as to weather or not to inform her of the passing of her sister.  As to any family we seem to have a difference of opinion and have not as of yet made a final decision.  Any thoughts on this matter would be greatly appreciated.  Thank You.

Dave z.................I am truly sorry to hear of the difficulties you are facing.Does she even remotely remember her sister?Has the sister been visiting her at the home?I dont envy the position you are in but I personally would make a decision based on how much she remembers of her and how close they were.I know if it was me and had to do with my mom I would tell her whether she totally grasped what was being said. Sometimes my mom has better clarity on certain days than others and I would not want her to find out by someone other than the family........such as a good hearted nurse with all the best intentions........I think this is something you will have to feel out for yourselves and I wish you all the best .......you are in my thoughts and prayers as is your mother in law .God Bless

Hi Snowy, LKE and Rosie for your very informative advice, greatly appreciated.  Family cousins from out of town, whom we havent seen for years, visited mothe-in-law at the Alzeheimer's unit.  She was plesant but did not recognize any of them.  So we decided not to disturb the present state she is in and to leave well enough alone.  Somewhat fearful of causing a state of agitation.  We informed the nursing home staff of our decision.  Hopefully we have made the right decision for her and also us.  Thank you for your input, it was very helpful.