parents live in assisted living - need advice badly

Both of my parents are in their 80's with my mom having dementia. I don't know if she has Alzheimers or not, but since she's so happy all the time, I don't want her to have any additional testing. My dad is older than her (he just turned 89) and I just can't seem to get things through his head. Sometimes he gives blank stares, but at other times he can sit and read the NY Times.

They live in an assisted living facility about 20 mins. away from my home. I cannot visit there every day since I have my own life to live and I suffer badly from anxiety and depression.

Anyway, there is no social worker on site, nor any coordinator of their care. It has come to the point that when medical issues arise, they don't know what's going on, don't know to contact their doctor, etc. My dad doesn't understand what dementia really is. He just thinks my mother's problem is loss of memory, but I can't explain to him that it is so much more. He is also deaf with a hearing aid, so I don't know when he can't hear me or when he doesn't grasp what I am saying and what it means.

The executive director is the main person in the operation of this assisted living. There is no law in the State of NJ that requires any assisted living to have a social worker on site, but what is more frightening is that there is no social worker even on the outside to confer with regarding my parents. I don't have any money to help them, but my parents are covered by AARP & Medicare.

How can I go about getting a social worker or someone in a similar position to either help me directly or guide me along on a path leading to someone else who can help me.

Do any of you have any ideas or suggestions? I'd appreciate any replies. Thank you!!

Forget that - nursing home - duh!

What you are saying is not always the case. My mother can stay there and go into the "memory unit" if need be. She is only in the beginning stages of dementia at this time, although I do know that it can progress quickly. Right now, I am taking one day at a time.

Bumping