Do you ever just cry

Hi Nyliz:  I am so sorry for everything that you are going through right now. It sounds like you are both physically and emotionally tired and really do deserve to have some good cries to get it out of you.  I have also gone through many periods of time where I have found myself crying over everything, not wanting to get out of bed, and worrying about how I am effecting my two daughters.  Usually I go through this when I am overwhelmed with so many responsibilities, have not been feeling well or am just emotionally exhausted.  It is a vicious cycle that is very hard to stop once it starts.  But despite this you need to realize that it can and will stop.  Think about setting one or two tiny goals for yourself each day.  Think of some small tasks to do and ignore all the rest.  Take your time to build up your strength.  This can be quite difficult to do but you will eventually start to feel some small satisfactions - which are positive building steps.  Yes, your children may see that life is difficult for you at the moment, but they will also see Mom not giving up.  You will be starting small but you will be starting and I think that in itself is a really good thing to see.  Mom not giving up - this will help all of you start to feel a little better.

Don't be too hard on yourself right now.  If you had a broken leg you would be in a lot of pain and start very slowly.  Your emotions are just as important and should be addressed in the same caring manner.  And in regards to your physical fears, just take one step at a time.  Remember when we don't feel well we always think and fear the worst.  Its a good thing you are working with the doctor.  Let him address your fears and concerns for you.

I'll say some prayers for you tonight.  Just hang in there because you can and will start feeling better.  We have all been where you are now.  Please feel free to post anytime because everybody here cares and truly can empathize with all your thoughts and fears.

Cass

Hi nyliz,   You have already gotten some great advice and I don't really have anything other advice to offer to you.  But just crying is good for the soul, sometimes that's what we need to do.  It doesn't have to be because of any one thing in particular - just cry; it can be good therapy for you.  As Meg said, be kind and gentle with  yourself - give yourself a break and just go through the motions of what you need to do for now.  Cass really nailed it when she said to just start out slowly and your children will see that mom is hurting right now, but she isn't giving up.  I think it's important for kids to see that life isn't always fun and games and that sometimes people hurt.  I also think it's important for kids to see that we can't just give up and run away - they are seeing you persevere through a very difficult time.  You may want to hibernate, but you're not and through this, your children will learn to be strong because they see mom doing it.  You may not think that you are "doing right" by your children right now, but you are - you haven't given up!  Just take things an hour at a time, then you'll be able to move to a few hours at a time, and then to a day at a time and so on.  As time goes on you will become stronger and stronger.   As far as the MRI, try not to worry too much right now - wait and see what the doctor has to tell you when the results are in.  Imagining the worst is only going to make you feel worse than you already do.  I know how hard it is not to worry or to convince yourself that things are to be bad, but try to keep yourself focused on something else - even if for only a few minutes at a time.  Do you have a hobby or something that you like to do that can keep you occupied?  When you find out the results of the MRI, please let us know what it is.  We care and want to be able to support you.  Please post any time as we truly want to know how you are doing.   Take care, Wen

Wow nyliz, you sure have a lot going on - no wonder you're anxious!!  I'm no professional, but in my opinion I would say that you have good reason for your anxiety level being high.  You not only have a lot going on, but some big things as well - four children, school, quitting smoking, remodeling, worrying about that extra payment, jobs, etc etc.    Are you doing anything for yourself that can help you to relax a little bit?  I sure hope you are, because it sounds like you need it.  Please keep posting as this will help you too and we want to support you during all of this.   Take care, Wen

nylz,

Oh yes, many times I just cry........the stress of trying to stay in the moment and not let the anxiety take over can be overwhelming.  I am feeling that way today as I see my Pdoc and just the thought of talking with her raises my alert zone into the orange level.............just like our homeland security.  She makes me feel afraid as I know what she will say to every suggestion I may make..........NO.

Give yourelf a big hug and know you are simply wonderful.

Kitt

Thanks Tootie and Kitt, It's always comforting to know that other's understand how I feel.  No one in my live (save one) has any idea what I'm going through.  And believe it or not the one friend I have who stuggles with A/P avoids me like the plague when I am in a rough spot because listening to me always sets her anxiety into motion...

The dizzyness has always been a major issue for me when anxious, I have a hard time differentiating between whether I'm dizzy because I'm anxious or anxious because I'm dizzy.  It's been going on for so many years that I think that's part of the reason why I am so worried about the results from this MRI.  I start thinking that maybe I've been blaming a major health issue on anxiety all this time.

Anyway  - Love you guys!!!

Liz

I have literally done nothing BUT cry for days been so worried about my daughter and now both of us sick
Missing all my family here
Feeling like Crud for sure
Fingers all swollen sore from head to toe and nothing helps

I really cried when I saw Cait looking so sad scared and helpless in the hospital bed and her Mommy could not just put a band aid on this boo boo

Have a great wknd all

Luvs and huggles
Lyn N Cait

Lyn, sweet angel, I'm so sorry you are going through this most difficult of times....my heart goes out to you and cait...I am sending caramel sundaes via express mail for you both..xxxxxmmm