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Posted 6/2/2008 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hello all.  I am new and have been reading some of your postings.  I was recently diagnosed with BP2.  I am up to 100mg of Lamatical and was feeling wonderful, until yesterday.  I wanted to die.  I couldn't be with my family, but didn't want to be alone.  I was wondering though if PMS has anything to do with all this.  I just couldn't shake it.  Today was better but felt like I was right on the edge.  I see my doctor tomorrow (Thank God) so I am waiting to see what he suggests.  I am still feeling my chest tightening up and grasping for breath.  I am holding it together the best I can so my kids wont' notice.  When I feel bad I feel guilty that their mom is losing it.  Racing thoughts, etc, etc. 

 

So my question is can you still have severe bad days even being medicated?  I felt horrible and still not 100%.

Posted 6/2/2008 12:56 AM (GMT 0)

Trinity, I am really glad you posted here. Welcome, you are safe here with us.  I am not sure what BP2 is (forgive me) can you fill me in? Can you have bad days when medicated YES. But it WILL pass.  You are not a bad mom, the very fact that you raised that issue makes me know you are a great mom.  Anxiety is not something we choose.  be kind to yourself and know that we will do our best to understand.

I am hoping all goes well with Doc tommorow.  Please, keep us posted.

Posted 6/2/2008 1:05 AM (GMT 0)
Trinity,

I don't have experience with Lamictal, but on my Paxil, I do occasionally get some bad "breakthrough" days, especially on the lower dosages. They rarely happen now on a slightly higher dose, but - surprise - it's almost always right at the start of my period when I get more anxious.

Try no to let anxiety trap you with one of its favorite tricks: guilt. You are doing the best you can, and trying to be the best mom you can be. Your kids would be okay if you came down with the flu; they'll be okay as you're fighting the anxiety and bipolar issues. Even though you may feel you're letting them down, you're not, and even if they see you hurting or struggling, they'll be learning lessons about compassion for others that kids with "perfect" parents are "sheltered" from.

I hope you bring all this up with your doctor tomorrow, and that s/he can suggest some options that will help you to feel better and stronger.

Gentle hugs,
percycat
Posted 6/2/2008 1:10 AM (GMT 0)

Trinity,

Yes, I also have days where my meds don't quite keep everything under check.  You are not a bad Mom.  You are human.  We all have "off" days.  I hope all goes well with the doctor tomorrow and definitely mention everything you are feeling to the doc.

Posted 6/2/2008 1:17 AM (GMT 0)
I want to thank you all for the beautiful responses. It brought tears to my eyes. Will keep you posted on the appointment tomorrow. You guys made me feel good already.
Posted 6/2/2008 1:25 AM (GMT 0)
Trinity, always feel free to post here.  I'm sorry I didn't figure the BP2 ref..got it now hon.  Keep us up to date.  xx

Posted 6/2/2008 1:53 PM (GMT 0)
Nervymeg, will do. I am sorry I should of explain on my response last night. I was so tired and exited at the same time. I feel pretty good this a.m. I have the appointment at 2:00 (eastern). Will keep you posted.
Posted 6/2/2008 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
Trinity

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Board.  I understand you have just been dx with Bipolar 2. 

Bipolar type -II Disorder is characterized by one or more Major depressive episodes accompanied by at least one hypomanic episode. Lamatical from what I know is a good drug, however you do have room to increase your dose if your physician feels it will help you. It is now being used for people with depression as a mood stablilizer.

Yes you can have bad days on your meds but as my Pdoc explained to me, the meds help and without them you would be in a bad place, however, the meds are not magic and they will not take away all the sx of your disorder.  I said to her............ Phooey. I just went through the whole med discussion on last Friday with my Doc as I really don't want to take meds but I finally had to accept that I have Anxiety and Depression and without the meds, I would probably have a major relapse. 

I wish you the best at your appointment and please do come and let us know how it went.  You have friends here now so let us support you.

Hugs
Kitt

Posted 6/4/2008 2:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all.  Well the appt w/ Doc. went well.  I told him about my PMS, so of course I received the PMDD dx.  So he wants me to up my Lamitacal to 200 mg in three days.  Then my next cycle take Zoloft for the 10 days I am PMSing.  I felt good the past two days, but today I feel like I am riding the edge.  Anxious, racing thoughts, tight chest.  I am thinking it's the PMS still.  I hope my "friend" makes an appearence soon.  I hope that helps.  I took a .25 xanax to help me relax this a.m.  I feel like a pill popping machine though.  That is making me even more depressed.  What happened to me?  I was fine until 2 months ago.  This is making me crazy.  I am living one day to the next.  I don't know how I will feel when I wake up.  It's also been cloudy and rainy the past two days.  I know today is going to be an all dayer with sadness. 

Posted 6/4/2008 3:01 PM (GMT 0)
You just said it Trinity, "I'm living one day to the next. I don't know how I will feel when I wake up." That can actually be a good thing. You learn to take life one day at a time. You don't know how you are going to feel the next day. I have fibromyalgia and I have the same thing going on. But it taught me to take life one day at a time and not stress about the future. Just take it as it comes and do the best that you can. I know this sounds hard, but you will get it. Good luck.

Luv and hugs, Karen...
Posted 6/4/2008 3:09 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen. I appreciate your reply. I just don't understand why I still have bad days when medicated. The therapist also dx me with BiPolar 2. I don't know if it is both (BiPolar and PMDD) or just PMDD. If so, I would not need Lamatical, just Zoloft. I am so confused. I feel guilty in front of my family because I don't want them to see my insides when I am feeling like I am like I am in a fish bowl looking outside. Are the meds even helping I wonder. Here we go, another deep breath.

Thanks for your shoulder,

Trinity
Posted 6/5/2008 2:50 AM (GMT 0)
Trinity,

Try to hang in there and be gentle and patient with yourself while you wait for the new cycle of medication to take effect. I was amazed earlier this spring at how much better I felt on the next dosage up of Paxil, so just a little change in our meds can make a big difference. I'll be praying that that's the case for you too.

Hugs,
percycat
Posted 6/5/2008 1:12 PM (GMT 0)
Percycat,

I never wanted my period so bad in my life. Hopefully it is just PMDD and not a combo of both PMDD and BiPolar. Thanks for the support.

Hugs,

Trinity
Posted 6/5/2008 2:28 PM (GMT 0)
Trinity
Welcome and I am sure glad you found us here at HW
I do hope you will continue to see the love care and support all have to offer here
It is like one big family all of us
Keep posting and stay with us
LYN
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