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Posted 6/27/2008 7:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,

I don't know if I have an anxiety disorder.  All I know is that an overwhelming fear sabotages me whenever I try to improve my career level or financial situation.  I'm taking a real estate course, and I have stopped dead in my tracks because of my fear of calling people!  I'm not the most social person either.  It took me years to be comfortable in my retail job which isn't enough to pay the bills and create financial security since my new baby has been born. 

I'm so ticked off that I'm a talented person who is untapped because the thought of calling someone on the telephone is as scary as jumping of a cliff into the water.  I waste so much time on the internet trying to find people to contact through email, and figuring out the exact thing to say.  I stare at the phone, enter the number, listen to the baby cry, and after business hours I'm so exhausted. 

I'm afraid that just taking the plunge isn't going to help.  I tried to do a Mary Kay business once, and I had to call all the leads I aquired.  I was rudely rejected so many times, so I quit. 

Does anyone have any perspective for me?  I would be so grateful.

-Shayna2006

Posted 6/27/2008 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
shayna2006

Welcome!

You've found a safe, caring , and reliable support community for people battling Anxiety and Panic.. We have many members here who will be glad to lend an ear, offer information, and provide support for people who need it.

I read your post carefully and I am wonderfing if there is another field that would suit you better.  Sales is a tough and demanding career, one where you have to have alot of selfconfidence as yoy are working on your own and making cold calls to strangers. Telecommunications may be to much for you right now.

Have you thought about what else you can do, make a list and make it things your interested in.

I know you must have lots of skills you can use so don't consider this a failure but give yourself permission to try somethng else.

Again Welcome an keep posting.

Kitt


Posted 6/27/2008 8:34 PM (GMT 0)
I understand how worrying about your financial situation can cause some anxiety. I am starting school in july for dental hygiene. If you are wanting to stay at home with you little one then I would suggest looking into something like child care becasue I dont think it takes as long to complete. And there is even medical transcript. I have 2 babies myself. I get anxious when I think about how I want to be financially prepared for the rest of our lives. Everything is so expensive and its just getting more expensive so I beleive that furthuring your education for somthing that will be beneficial to you and your family will help you so much with your anxiety. It will bring some security and confidents to yourself. Thats what im doing. Good luck!  If you were able to try and go to a local college, I know there are programs that help you financially.  WIA is a program that pays for day care cost and gas.  And then you get pale grants and hope that pay for your tuition and books.  Pretty much they pay you to go to school.  But the pale and hope grants are based on your taxes.  You would have to fill out a ffsa. It will be a good choice for you to find something that interest you and that you will enjoy doing.  Something that you don't enjoy will only bring more fustration and more anxiety.  Keep thinking and you will think of something that is right for you. Do some research online!
Posted 6/28/2008 1:12 AM (GMT 0)

Shayna,

Hi and welcome to HW, you are in the right place for support. It sounds to me like you had a negative experince with the Mary Kay business. With all those rude rejections no wonder you are scared to make calls! Real estate is a very full on job which requires a lot of interaction with people (including the dreaded phone). I can understand why you are worried, but the pressure of supporting your baby may be pushing you to do this for financial reasons.

I am in no position to give advice, but if it were me I would either switch to a career that doesn't involve to much being on the phone. OR get some counselling and face the challenge head on. You say you are a talented person, so please don't let this hold you back. Make the decision that will make you happy in the long term. Best of luck and keep us posted on how you go.

Posted 6/28/2008 7:10 AM (GMT 0)

ESTATE AGENCY WORK IS VERY, VERY STRESSFUL.

I suggest you find a cure to your problems.  I know a lot of people who have gone through what you are going through.

My advice is first find a cure/remedy before you even consider Estate Agency Work.

When you have found your cure.  I suggest you work as an assistant to an estate agent to understand what this works entails - it is a 7 day week job - very important not an agent who is a bully.  Someone who you feel comfortable with.  I also recommend you start in a small agency.

Posted 6/28/2008 7:20 AM (GMT 0)

ESTATE AGENT

I am an estate agent and the cold calling hoping to get a property is very, very strenuous.  Yes the majority of people are rude and this does not help you with your condition.

I have found the solution instead of spending time on the phone and continuosly being rejected I decided to go onto property websites which cover the areas I work in.

I specialise in rentals - the same can be done for sales.

This is what I put on the different websites

Are you wanting to rent your property out.  We specialise in rentals.  Please contact us first.  I then put a write up re the type of properties I require say apartments, houses etc. Price ranges.  Furnished and Unfurnished.  Price ranges. 

You will be amazed at the amount of rersponses you get.  It is so much easier and less stressful when you are contacted, you feel more confident and motivated.  Also, if a client contacts you, you know they are serious about renting/selling their property.

You also put on the websites

Are you looking for a property to rent/buy.  Please contact First.

Clients looking to rent/buy will also contact you, and you know they are serious.

Posted 6/29/2008 6:49 AM (GMT 0)
MPD, welcome, and thank you for that advice, wonderful!

Posted 6/29/2008 7:07 AM (GMT 0)
It is a pleasure. Any advice I can give you I will. I have been as estate agent for 15 years here and have lots of experience re: Sales and Rentals. I eventually decided to go the rental route as here in South Africa when we have properties for sale we have to sit showdays on Sundays from 11am to 5 pm - I disliked that intensely - and more importantly we have so much crime that agents are being targetted in the houses which they sit in on Sunday's. about 2 weeks ago an estate agent in Cape Town was shot dead by criminals in a Show house.

I take it you live in America.
What is Mary Kay? I have never heard of it.
WHAT IS THE REASON YOU ARE WANTING TO BE AN ESTATE AGENT?
Posted 6/29/2008 3:15 PM (GMT 0)

MPD

Hello and welcome to HealingWell. Feel free to start a post of your own so we can all get to meet you.

Here is a link to what Mary Kay is:

http://www.marykay.com/kristalmccready/sellmarykay/howdoigetstarted/default.aspx

Thank you for the great support you have given the members.  Again a Warm Welcome

Kitt

Posted 6/29/2008 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
I would suggest that when you have the opportunity to reply to an email you phone the person instead. That way you have to make calls to people that you know want to talk to you and even better if you have something that they want to hear like good news. Try to scale back your email. Use the email for all those uncomfortable anxiety producing stuff for now but use the phone for the easy stuff. The more you use it to make good calls the more comfortable you will probably get with it!
Posted 6/29/2008 10:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Shayna, and welcome!

I can't offer much advice in this regard. However, Anastasia's discussion of going back to school reminded me of something: a few months back, there was an article on CNN.com about scholarships that are especially for mothers who are returning to school. If you or anyone else try to jump back into the college scene, such scholarships would be worth checking out.

Good luck to you!

percycat
Posted 6/30/2008 3:05 AM (GMT 0)

Shayna,

Just checking in to see if you are doing ok.

Meg :-)

Posted 6/30/2008 6:52 AM (GMT 0)
Yes I am fine thank you.
How are you?
Let me know why you would like to be an Estate Agent?
Have a good day
Posted 6/30/2008 8:56 AM (GMT 0)
I totally understand the phone thing - I had it, too. I started a job where I had to talk to people on the phone and it was very hard for me, too. I had all the feelings you mention.

The two things that helped me were to remember that the person on the other end of the phone couldn't see me and had no idea who I was!! and also I'd done acting, so I tried to pretend I was in a play making these calls. Silly but it helped.
Posted 6/30/2008 9:45 AM (GMT 0)

So silly, but you just have to imagine .... you are doing your very best. And it is great k? Cold calling... sad

Hugs,

been there!! Meg

Posted 6/30/2008 12:42 PM (GMT 0)
I just wanted to tell you I can relate. The phone is very difficult for me too. My poor husband gets roped into making most of the phone calls for the family b/c I just put anything off I can't email. I will make a honey "please call" list. The only person I don't mind talking to is my husband and if the kids are calling from a friends or something, but I usually cringe when the phone rings. My family knows that if they hear from me it will be through email.

I have taken a job at home that doesn't require any telephones. I think you have to decide what you are can handle and what choices are best for you because this is something you will have to live with everyday as your job. I pray that you find the answers you are looking for.

Blessings,
Leah
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