When You Lose The Career You Love Due to This DD / Or Other Chronic Illness

Well, in my first "career" I was a legal consultant to the DOT here in Texas, and my employer was very, very patient with me. So I didn't lose anything there, and toward the end of it is when I started feeling better. It's a long story why, but basically feeling better coincided with quitting that gig and going into the family business.

Essentially, I'm in charge of the Dallas/Fort Worth area, which as you can probably guess is absolutely enormous. There are days in which I just cannot go where I need to go. Almost always I get done what I HAVE to get done, but I need to do more than that in order to make a solid living.

A few months ago I broke up with my girl, and it took five or six weeks to settle in. Since then I've kind of regressed, which has put a direct hit on my income. And the timing's not very good in this economy, obviously. This being a family business I won't get fired or anything, and I can't exactly walk away from it, either. In some ways I'm losing it, though.

How do I deal with it? Well, I just do the best I can. It's hard because I know I should be doing better and I have very, very high expectations of myself. That's a double-edged sword, of course. High expectations can motivate one to get better, but they can also cause a lot of guilt when they aren't realized. Still, I try to be kind to myself. When I fail to do that is when I have the worst problems, and that's been too often of late.

As long as I don't run out of money (I'm part of the family business but am essentially on my own up here, so it's really like being in business for myself), I should probably count my blessings. There are jobs I've had in the past I probably would've had to give up. I feel for people who do. I mean, I complain in my head about having to go all the way to the West side of Fort Worth...what if I was a truck driver or something? I'd have to give that up for sure, I believe.

Maybe this isn't really appropriate to say with the economy the way it is, but I think there's a job out there for everyone. Mine is perfect for me. I don't have to punch a clock or anything of that nature, and I would imagine it's the cubicle type gigs that really get to people with anxiety. When I was a consultant I had this tiny little office, but I could come and go when I pleased. But there's something out there for everyone, although nothing is easy.

After taking care of my mother for the last ten years, I have no idea what to do. I'm in lousy shape to do anything. Everything that I was once interested in seem meaningless. I hardly talk to anyone any more. about the only human contact I have is at the Rescue Mission and here. I've given up looking for a job or even help ... I just don't care anymore. Just waiting for death to come knocking on my door.

Buddha

Are you kidding me
YOUR helping at the mission is FANTASTIC and I am so proud of you
We need ppl like you to help the less fortunate

I know its early yet but
have you thought of being a caretaker for seniors in their homes

I know you would be good at it
and it might help ease some of your pain

YOU are needed
NO checking out here my friend

Luvs
LYN

irish.....
Thanks so much for your story
I am so sorry it was that way for you

I still do mourn my loss as well I think we always will
If you loved your career as you
so obviously did like I
Then it is hard to think you are not a failure
BUT I have learned it was the path life had given me

My daughter cait wants to be a High School English teacher.........
It is her dream.
I will help and support her 110% to acheive it ya know

I know it is not the same as you were doing before BUT
At least you are doing something and that
Says to me how much you loved your job
Dont feel you are a failure
It will take away from all
your success as the person you were and what you
did for those kids
I am sure they will never forget you

Lyn

Thanks Lyn,
You are always so supportive and helpful to everyone, your daughter is lucky to have such a wonderful Mom.
many thanks,
irish~

Good Morning Family,

I have written my story for so many I will not write it again other then to say I have applied for a position as a substitute nurse in our community school system.

Irish

You touched my soul when I read how you still mourn your job that you loved,  I feel the same way about my 26 years in nursing and also still get the feeling like I am failure for taking early retirement. But it has been 3 years for me and life has moved on.  I know now that I no longer work in the ER.

debaser

I remember your struggles with your job and I am so happy you now have the job you do.  I am sorry to hear of your recent break up but I know you will overcome the pain and that you will soon be back in the groove.  Good to see you my friend.  I understand those low spots.

ComedyDork

I am sorry you were not able to go to your dream school. I am sure that was the loss of a dream for you.  Give yourself time to work through this and look into all kinds of other jobs you may able to do. Post a question on the UC forum re ideas you could persue with your disease.   ((((HUGS))))

Buddha,

You have done a wonderful job taking care of your Mom and that was the job of a caregiver.   You followed through all the way for 10 years, I know you did it out of love for you Mom but celebrate your accomplishment.  You gave 10 years and now you are lost and don't know how to start over as well as having issue of you own to deal with.

Never put yourself down,  we are here to help you dear Buddha.

Scattered,

I feel if you have made a wise choice for you to refocus where your headed in your career.  I feel a bit like you when applying for casual or part time work, my age is against me yet I am finding it on all applications as they need it for security reason.  I have tried to stay in the moment and if the job is meant to be for me, I will get it, if not I will sell knock-off watches on a corner.

To My Big sis who is very petite

Great thread. I know you know my history in the career department and how I struggled and still do at times.  I know how much you loved nursing too.  You are always there for me when I start to slip into the "whoa is me" and you tell me to get over the "Stinkin Thinkin" As my friends were all connected to my work, I lost so much and yet I gained so much finding HealingWell and Lyn/Big Sis to welcome me aboard and be my mentor.

When one door closes another door opens.

Hugs to my HW Family and keep your stories coming.

Kitt/Lil Sis

Jan,

That is awesome, and I can see how excited you are.  I am so happy for you.  Yes, blessings do come when we are not expecting them.

Hugs

Kitt

It is with sadness
but alot of good feeling that you are all letting this out
It will be the or one of the steps to fighting this demon
I believe we all know as a/p

THanks to ALL that have shared their innermost hearts with us here.............LYN

Lil sis
I have never been so lucky either to go thru this puter and find a kindred sister
that suppports and cares for me and so many others
Whilst fighting your own battles
Tjankls for always being hee for me and others to lean on

Love
Big sis