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Posted 11/7/2008 6:02 AM (GMT 0)

At times i think that I have some sort of speech problem or something wrong with my ability to verbaly communicate in asocial setting. I alsmost think this could have stemed from childhood... where I had fiew friends and spent more time reading than talking. Compounded by two years of homeschool in grade 8 and 9 and then the culture shock of hitting the WORLD from a sheltered Christian community where I was filled with religous jargon until it actually oozed out of me.

After two years of recovering (I moved out at 18 I'm 20 now) I'm just starting to be able to communicate with my peers... and even still I talk differently and think about different things than they do. Not being able to verbally communicate how you're feeliing is a diffuclt thing to deal with, and yet as I notice my frustration with the world I am unable to communicate those frustrations to the people around me. I instead write... read what I write and strategically choose what I'm going to tell people. I'm great for statistics and random knowledge.. because I enjoy reading so much that I do it pretty much all my free time. These are really just thoughts... nothing that I'm sure of for certain. I'm just very aware of my handicap in the terms of "voicing" my opion.. I'm great with letters :P

PS I wrote this whole thing without looking at the keyboard and listening to a conversation...

I actually also suspect I think in words.. 

Has anybody ever heard of anything like this? I don't even know where to post this. I've been toying with presenting this idea to my doctor... but I'm scared they're going to think I'm crazy. This is a theory that i've been working on for the last year as I get farther and farther away from the above events and as I try to make sense of what was going on.

Really I'm just wondering if my problem with communicating could have something to do with the anxiety I feel in public places - if this was the case couldn't I maybe be able to control my anxiety (to a point...) by having an understanding of what is causing my anxiety AND would this still mean that I have an anxiety disorder or something else? OR is the inability to find the proper words to express yourself a sign of anxiety?

Sorry So many questions but I'm trying to make sense of things so I can carry on with my life.

Thanks!

Posted 11/7/2008 9:07 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Corrie,

Thank you so much to trust us with this situation. I was brought up as an atheist..so I have no idea about what you have grown up with. I apologise. I cannot help you with the religion, I found my own faith, my own way.

I can imagine that home schooling would be isolating. It is not comon where I live. Community development, cultural development, peer support is integral in human development.  Possibly you do not lack in anything but lack of experience my friend. After years of being told what to think it is hard to find yourself.  I may be completely wrong, it's just an idea.

Be open, explain, question, learn. Stay true to your values. Your true values..not the ones imposed upon you by others. You are such a lovely young person. Take time to understand yourself.

As a wonderful friend of mine says "I miss you but haven't met you yet"

Put your ideals first.

Meg

Posted 11/7/2008 9:52 AM (GMT 0)
I think in words. I have to read everything to be able to understand and I remember conversations like play scripts. This is mainly because I'm a visual learner. When I listen to music, I rarely listen to the actual music but to the lyrics. If something has bad lyrics I can't listen to it.

I suspect you inability to communicate in social situations is more to do with a mix of anxiety and your upbringing than anything being wrong with your thought processes. Have you thought about seeing a therapist to help you work through either of those things?
Posted 11/7/2008 5:23 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Corrie,

This is Kitt.  You have made some huge changes in your life and I am very proud you were brave enough to make your decisions based on your own personal beliefs.

The important cornerstones of some religious doctrine are obedience and yielding to God, the church, and others and separation from the outside world.

You chose to join the outside world and you are feeling  the difference.  I would guess you were not allowed to make many decisions for yourself when you lived at home so the conversations were not about or aimed at you.

I don't believe you have any short circuits in your brain.  You are just being exposed to so much in the real world that you feel overwhelmed and that causes your anxiety to rise.

You may do well to find a therapist that would help you with your transition.  You are allowed the freedom of speech here and yes you will come up against people that differ from you greatly but you will eventaully get along fine with many.

I think in words...................always have.  :-)

When you are feeling anxious try Realistic self-talk:

While we can't always control what happens to us, we can always control what we say to ourselves. It's important to keep things in perspective. Talk to yourself in reasonable ways. Ask yourself "how likely is my fear?" Remind yourself that you have coped before during other challenging times. Don't just dwell on the negative but consciously look for things you can appreciate every day.

 I am so glad you found us and keep taling to us.

Kitt

Posted 11/7/2008 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
I am seeing a therapist. I figured that after being diagnosed with Fibro - I should use every resource available and a therapist is one of those resources.

:) Thanks for the advice

And yes... perhaps with a bit more experience things won't be as difficult.

I think I might also just be experiencing culture shock :P

Posted 11/7/2008 5:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Corrie,

I think many of us are shell shocked in one form or another. I can identify with you, except I came into religion later in life :) I was as green as the grass when I moved into the real world although, and it was scary and hard for many years :) I hope you get to feeling better ;)
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