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Anxiety over break-up

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Posted 11/28/2008 12:42 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

My boyfriend recently broke up with me and I have been struggling to cope. I don't understand why he did it and I'm so hurt that I can't go an hour without getting a kind of mini anxiety attack. I also have CFS, and my symptoms have been going downhill since this incident, which is hard because I have a lot of functions to get through (being close to christmas and all). I really thought he cared about me, but now we just aren't speaking at all, which is hard, because i keep remembering how much fun we used to have together. Should I contact him, leave him alone...? I would be grateful for any advice.

Take care

Posted 11/28/2008 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
thanks for the words of wisdom. the reason he gave for breaking up was that he wasn't ready for a relationship and just wanted to be friends - i said it was too hard for me to just hang out with him as a friend because the breaking up hurt me so much. we still have to see eachother sometime because we have stuf belonging to eachother. getting through each day has been tough- he supported me so much.

Posted 11/28/2008 6:52 AM (GMT 0)
don't call him..focus on you and making your life better. Sometime success is the best payback. So be successful at functioning and accomplishing your goals. If he loves you he will call and call again. If he doesnt' take that for what it is, and move with your life. A break up is never easy..but in time it won't hurt as much. You need to take a hot bath and relax. Find something you enjoy on tv or take a nap.

Your fine! No need to worry:+)
Posted 11/28/2008 8:55 AM (GMT 0)

ive survived some hideous breakups and the biggest lesson i learnt from the last one was NEVER to contact them, hard as it may be. dont do it, it will hurt you more. you need to try and let go, because you end up getting hurt all over again, and you dont want to appear desperate or hung up to him. neediness makes them run for the hills. try and view it as dodging a bullet- maybe he did you a favour and the perfect man is round the corner? (i need to take my own advice!) the best revenge is getting on with your life- if its 'meant to be' then it will sort itself out

thinking of you, Maz XX


Posted 11/28/2008 3:05 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning

I am with Maz on this one.  I am much older then you and more then once had some ugly break ups and calling them and asking them to come back when they were the one that wants out of the relationship finally made me realize I was just putting myself down as well as asking to be kicked again.

Coping with a  relationship breakup of any kind can be very painful, and most people go through this experience at some point in their lives. But the challenges posed by such a  loss can be turned into opportunities, enabling you to not only survive, but also thrive. Learn to understand your feelings and develop tools to cope with your relationships.

I wish you peace

Kitt 

Posted 11/29/2008 4:03 AM (GMT 0)
thanks all for your advice; i'm taking heed and trying really hard not to contact him. like i said, we have things that belong to eachother that need returning, and i'm doing my best to let it go and let him contact me about that, too. Its so hard because i want him to see how much he's hurt me, when i know deep down that he is probably not exactly thrilled that i rejected his friendship.
thanks again
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