Hello everyone. I'd first just like to say that I've been peeking around at some posts the last few days and you all seem like such a friendly bunch. I am glad to have stumbled across this site.
So, here's my life story -lol. I'm 25 years old and I have suffered from social anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder since I was around 12 and diagnosed at age 15. I had seen a couple different therapists but my mother didn't want to be bothered to keep up with my therapy appointments and always just told me that it was just a normal teenage thing I was going through and that I would just grow out of it. So, I didn't receive much help, support, or understanding which I believe help contribute to making the condition worse. So, by the age of 16 I had dropped out of school, had tried almost every type of illegal drug there is and was abusing pills and drinking on a regular basis. At age 16 I tried heroin for the first time which led to years of addiction. At age 21 after many attempts to detox myself I finally made the commitment to go into a 28 day drug rehabilitation center.
Everything seemed like it was going okay for awhile. I was so happy to finally be free of my addiction that I jumped head first into living a "normal" life. I got my first real job, I was more socialable, and I was finally feeling like I was just like everyone else. Well, it didn't take long for me to be reminded of why I had started my drug use to begin with; the panic attacks came flooding back, I was having a difficult time making myself go to work and I was starting to feel like my life was spinning out of control. Then to top it off I found out that I was pregnant by someone who wasn't exactly a great guy. Although my pregnancy wasn't planned and it was pretty bad timing, I got my head together the best that I could and my anxiety levels were manageable during my pregnancy.
My son is two and a half years old now and up until this point I have been able to manage the basic things like doctors appointments and grocery shopping. The past two months though have been complete mental hell for me. My panic attacks are more frequent now also more intense. I now get a sense of delusion during a panic episode as if I'm not myself or I'm going insane. These episodes usually last anywhere from a couple minutes to a few hours. A couple weeks ago I went to the ER after being in a constant state of panic for 5 days straight - I was shaking, sweating and was having trouble doing basic things around the house. The doctor in the ER told me that I was having a panic attack (duh) and sent me on my jolly way. He told me to make an appointment with my primary care physician to be prescribed some type of anxiety medication.
So, about
a week ago I saw my doctor and he wouldn't prescribe me anything. He told me that he wasn't comfortable treating someone for an anxiety condition that was beyond a mild condition and he referred me to a counseling center to have a psychological evaluation. (just a side note: I totally freaked out while I was in his office. I was shaking and crying and wouldn't let him take my blood pressure because that thing on my arm would have made me feel trapped)
I had my appointment at the counseling center today and I had my hour intake session. It started out with me crying and not being able to think clearly but toward the end I felt a little more comfortable being there. He scheduled me to see a physciatrist in two months from now because that is there soonest available appointment . . . which means I can not be prescribed any medication for two months. The therapist a saw today told me to call my primary doctor and to let him know that I had seen him for my intake appointment and that I was going to be in regular therapy sessions and to explain the situation of their physciatrist not being available for two months and to ask him if he could prescribe something like xanax just just for a two month period. I'm too afraid to call my doctor though because I'm pretty sure he's not going to prescribe me anything even if it is at the recommendation of a therapist. He looked at me like I was an alien when I was in his office last and he seems to be clueless about
anxiety. So, I have to call my health insurance company and have my primary care physician switched to someone who is hopefully more "mental health friendly". So in the mean time I'm just staying in my house (I still live with my mother who thinks that this whole thing is just me being lazy and not wanting to work) and I'm praying that the physciatrist has a lot of cancellations so that I can get a sooner appointment.
There's my story in a nutshell
