Im sorry you feel that way- the time you take waiting to start again, is time that could have been helping your recovery. it was prescribed for you by someone who knows what they are doing.
im not here to twist your arm and guilt you into taking it, but you never gave yourself a fighting chance. and when the new year comes and you start taking it again, the same side effects will still be there, no matter what AD your doc prescribes. that is something only YOU can overcome, but also know that we here support you and as you may have noticed, have been with you every step since you put that first pill in your mouth.
im just sorry that your anxiety has robbed you of an excellent opportunity to start feeling 'normal' again.
all the best Shia- stay in touch, thats what we are here for.
Maz XX