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Posted 1/12/2009 10:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi All

I feel lost at the moment, my anxiety seems to be getting really bad again and i seem to have no control over it which is making me depressed. I am drinking again and feel like I have let every one down who has supported me here, I know that drinking is not doing me any good so I keep asking myself why am i drinking? I think at the moment it is a way of escape from my anxiety which i know are the wrong reasons. Im just really hacked of that i always feel anxious and depressed about things every thing seems to be bothering me at the moment im not happy. I put on a brave face but i am struggling I keep wishing that i do not have GAD and depression and just wont it to go away but i know it is not that simple and that it is down to me to sort out and really do want to do that. When i get back from my trip I have some CBT and I think this will be a great help as i find all the medication i have tried has not helped me so maybe I would do better without medication?.

I feel alone im 33 and single all my friends are ether married or in a relationship and i seem to be getting really depressed about this lately along with other things. When i had CAT i did learn coping stratagies which i have tried to do but I cant seem to get on top off things help?

Ben
Posted 1/12/2009 10:19 AM (GMT 0)

Try not to beat yourself up Ben- you said it yourself, your drinking is a problem- with alcohol being a depressant you arent going to have a feeling of balance and peace while its in your system. You need to get to the root of WHY you drink- especially when you know how bad it is when mixed with meds. I think its time to see your Pdoc and get something happening, cos you cant keep living the cycle of panic and alcohol, there has to be another way to deal with those anxious feelings. you have not let any of us down, we are here for you always.

take care and hang in there, yeah?

Maz XX

p.s im 28, all my friends are married or similar and im single and i envy their happiness and companionship quite often, i understand that.

Posted 1/12/2009 11:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Ben, I can understand where you are coming from with the anxiety and wanting to drink...I am on day 5 sober and I feel I am doing really well....It is a good thing that you still have friends count your blessings babe. I have pushed all mine away with my depression and messy situations. I guess I didn't feel they understood me as I didn't understand myself or what was happening to me. I too am single but that is my choice as I used to be very promiscious and I got myself in more mess and anxiety over it. I have decided to remain single untill I can truly love myself, If i cant do that then I will never be able to fully love anyone else as much as they deserve....Please dont beat yourself up over the alcohol thing...no biggy-U know what u have to do!!   Take care and Relax babe. gillxx

Posted 1/12/2009 1:32 PM (GMT 0)

Ben,

I am sorry you are in a bad place right now.  I hope you can get the help you need to beat this anxiety.  The support from the members is awesome.

To take your mind off of what is happening with you perhaps spend time each day responding to some of our members that are in the same dire straights as you are.  That helps me :-) .

I quit worrying about me as my head is busy trying to come up with ways to post to the others.

Just my 2 cents for today.

Take care my friend

Kitt

Posted 1/12/2009 1:35 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ben, I hope you can find the help you need. As for being single, try to keep it in perspective... you are not alone. When I feel that way, I call someone so I can talk so them and not feel alone.

Betsy
Posted 1/12/2009 3:16 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ben you have been given some great advice already, so I am just going to send some healing thoughts your way. Please talk to your pdoc about your anxiety/depression and for help to leave the alchohol behind.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Posted 1/12/2009 5:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi All

Thanks for all the replies I really appreciate all your support. I have had a bad day today due to a bad hangover (self inflicted i know) I have been throwing up all day due to the amount I drank, I have a cold at the moment and have been taking meds for that as well as all my other meds plus the alcohol not a good mix and stupid of me. I think sometimes I say to myself that i don't have a drink problem but I definitely do as I just cant drink a few beers it always leads to more. I am going to stop today as I cant handle how im feeling at the moment and the depression is awful. Thanks for all the advice guys this really is a great family.

I really don't want to carry on like this as I seem to be in a self destruct mode at the moment but I do mean I will stop the drinking today. Nikki thanks for the joke you did make me smile.

Thanks to you all, I will continue to listen and support you guys as well and agree with you Kitt that replying to post does help.

Thanks

Ben
Posted 1/12/2009 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Ben, begin a journal today. Your last reply on this post has a lot of important information that you can put in the journal. Make sure to include how you're feeling today as a result of drinking. You can look back on the journal and learn from it. I hope you are getting help for your drinking problem, depression, and anxiety. If not, find someone who is licensed to help you. Also, find a hobby that will keep your minid busy. Begin exercising. As far as being single, someone will come along when you least expect it. Work on getting healthy and hang in there!
Posted 1/12/2009 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
P.S. Ben, if you've had this problem for a long time, then it's time to do the things people on here are suggesting. You need to take charge. Nothing will get better until you make changes. Head to the bookstore for self-help books. Make an appt. today with a professional therapist. Begin walking tonight. When your thoughts turn to self pity, change them to positive thoughts. You will get better!
Posted 1/12/2009 7:52 PM (GMT 0)
Aries8

Thanks for your reply. I have had therapy and I am booked into have some CBT and I see a pdoc, Therapy does work well for me and the last time I had CAT which looks more at the causes of why i feel the way I do. My problem is that I am in a different country and will be until the end of March so hard to see any one now but will when I get back. I do have self help books and have a good insight into my anxiety/depression, a lot has happened in my life over the last few weeks and I have lost my way a bit but will get back on track as i said the drinking will stop today. The journal is a good idea and something I have done in the past and found useful so I will start that again. I am doing a ski season so getting lots of exercise which is something I am enjoying and is a positive in my life at the moment. You are right I do need to take charge and start making the changes again. I have had excellent support here on healingwell and really appreciate the advice I have been given so thanks to you all.

Ben
Posted 1/12/2009 9:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ben :)

I'm sorry you are going through this and don't worry about letting anyone down here because we all care about you. Everything in life is a stepping stone and sometimes it is just two steps forward and three steps back. Talk to your doc about your meds not working and the problems you have quiting drinking and he/she might be able to help you out! Lot's of prayers for you my friend.
Posted 1/12/2009 9:26 PM (GMT 0)
Ben,
I know you're having a tough time of things. I think it's a great decision that you've made not to drink. Nikki had a really good suggestion about attending AA meetings. Last time you posted you were in France. They do have English AA meetings there if you are willing to attend. People in AA are very nice & can lend you books, arrange transportation to meetings or just about anything else you could need for support over the next month. Here's the link:

http://www.aa-europe.net/countries/france.htm

If you're not still in France, just click on the AA Worldwide button at the top of that site to find a meeting in a different country.

Best of luck to you!
frances :)
Posted 1/12/2009 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
Green Grove & Frances

Thanks for replying to my post, I am still in France and thanks for the link. Cheers to every one who, Nikki your right a lot of strenth comes from the members here and I am glad to be a part of this forum and hope that i can help people as much as people have helped me.

Ben
Posted 1/13/2009 12:43 AM (GMT 0)

Ben,

You are an asset to this forum okay? I won't let you add guilt to your list!! You know the link between alcohol and anxiety, but there is also a link between alcohol and relationships. I have bounced from one failed relationship to the next for years until I quit. I still relapsed a few times in my current relationship..but my fella forgave me and we have been together 4 years now.

Once you are happier within yourself then you will be ready for a relationship..until then, you need to take care of YOU. (I'm sure many girls in France are sighing in disapointment now...!!!!)

Hugs, Meg

Posted 1/13/2009 8:41 AM (GMT 0)
Meg

Thank you, you are a good friend I managed not to have a drink last night even though my friends were drinking I just stuck to the coke, we did not go out just staid in the appartment but a big positive one step at a time. I just feel the need to settle down feel that time is running away.

Thanks my friend


Take Care

Ben
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