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Posted 1/17/2009 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
shakehead  I am new to this site and am hoping that this helps me to heal in some way from my panic disorder that has been ruling my life for a long time. I am 25, have 2 gorgeous kids and have been with my husband for 6 years. You would think I would be so happy and loving life. Well it is kind of the opposite. I had anxiety as a teenager but it was so mild I hardly paid attention to it. After I had my first child I started having really bad panic attacks. My husband is in the military so that is also an added stress. My anxiety will act up until it gets to a boiling point where I feel like I have no control over my mind or body. I never used to have physical symptoms up until the past few years. I have gone from doctor to doctor, sure that something was deathly wrong with me. I have had an echo done on my heart as well as a stress test. my blood pressure checked numerous times because I am always so dizzy and an MRI done on my brain convinced it was going to show that something was wrong with me. After I get all these tests done I am at ease for a short period of time and than I will find something else that i obsess about and it eats away at me. I currntly have no control over my thoughts. I let them get the best of me. I am taking Klonopin now and it helps me to stay more calm and prevents my muscles from becoming tight and burning like they were before but it isnt making my thoughts slow down very much. I also feel very dizzy in the mornings and really off is the only way i an explain it. My new obsession is that I cant take a deep breath and dont do any physical activities because my heart races like crazy and i feel dizzy and very out of breath. I am pretty sure this is something that I have brought on myself because of the way i think but I am just curious if anyone out there gets what I am saying. Im just looking for some support from people who live the same thing i do every day.
Posted 1/17/2009 4:23 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Mollydolly,

Welcome to the A/P forum. I'm glad you joined us. You are not alone in this. It sounds to me a bit like you have Health Anxiety. There is a thread on this forum about that if you would like to check it out. Did you have a difficult pregnancy? Often a physical change to our health can trigger a mental change as well. You mention that you had mild anxiety as a teen, did you seek any help for this or just left it unresolved (like I did!!).

Often our ability to control stress changes as we grow older and have more and more responsibilities. We also worry about what will happen to our children/families if we get sick or die. It's pretty scary to "have no control over your thoughts" as you say. Have you ever heard of CBT therapy? It is a way of training your mind to think more positively and to control your neagative, worrying thoughts. Many of our members have had great success with this. The link is www.moodgym.com.au

I'm sure many of our supportive members will be along soon with their own stories and advice. I wish you well, and agin, I welcome you.

Meg

Posted 1/17/2009 4:45 PM (GMT 0)

Mollydolly you are Not alone - so glad you seeking med. help..wondering if you can get a copy of the book 'Living with IT' by Bev Aisbett - this is like my 'anxiety bible' in times of stress..esp. when the physical symptoms have kicked in :-)

Maree

Posted 1/17/2009 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
hi mollydolly,

welcome to the forum! i agree that doing a google ban is a good idea-that was one of my new year's resolutions this year! i was just driving myself crazy by looking up every little symptom and then freaking out thinking i had some terrible disease. i haven't googled a symptom in a couple of weeks now and although i can't say my anxiety is totally gone, i do seem to be having fewer panic attacks. so no more looking up symptoms for me!

again-welcome! i am glad you've found us :-)
Posted 1/17/2009 5:44 PM (GMT 0)

Hello MollyDolly,

Welcome to HealingWell.

I have found the support, validation and encouragement that I receive here, to be so helpful and healing. I hope and trust that will be your experience as a member of the HW family.

Please stick with us and you will find this to be a wonderful and caring place to come to.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Posted 1/17/2009 6:59 PM (GMT 0)
Try to take the advice of others on this forum. There's a lot you need to be doing to help yourself.

I have had the dizziness, heart racing, etc. When you learn to accept the symptoms and not be frightened by them, they will go away. You may get another new symptom, but again you need to not shrink from it.

Your body is telling you to slow down. Take more "me" time and don't be scared. We've all been there. Everything will be okay!
Posted 1/17/2009 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

Welcome to healingwell you have had some great advice from the members keep posting to tell us how you are getting on.
Posted 1/17/2009 8:55 PM (GMT 0)
Thank You everyone for the welcome. I can see already that I am going to have alot of people to relate to. I know I have to accept the anxiety and let it in and face the symptoms but I havent got to the point in my life where I can do that. I know I am letting the fear run my life and hopefully through advice on here, my meds, and counseling I can improve my life and my thoughts. Is anyone else on this site taking Klonopin also? I feel like after about 6 months of taking it the calming effect I had before is gone. I also get really shaky and in the morning I feel like a complete zombie. If I take a nap during the day (which I always want to do while I am on it) I am very anxious when i wake up and feel extremly spacey. Since I do have the health anxiety these things start to make me even more anxious, and than the cycle begins everyday.
Posted 1/17/2009 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
A very warm welcome to the A/P family
This is a great place to come to at anytime and you WILL get the support you deseve and need
YES we have all been there and some have made great progress...........others are taking baby steps and we do say that baby steps are good as you can just do what you are able to do

BUT be PROUD of each step you take
Read back pages and also go to search engine at top as well as the resources

I am so glad you found us and I do hope you will sty with us

Blessings

LYN
Posted 1/17/2009 11:27 PM (GMT 0)
I am really curious about the cbt therapy. I would like to look into that. I havent really tried anything outside of klonopin and your typical counseling sessions. I am honestly up for anything that will calm me and help put me into the place I need to be at. I have heard of Lucinda Bassett, but I am going to look her up after this. I agree once I can learn to control my thoughts and think good things I will begin the healing and I am very ready to start climbing up the long hill. I also take .5 mg in the morning and at night. Do you seem to feel like the meds help you just kind of take the edge off? Have you had a hard time weaning yourself from 3 mg a day to what you are on now?
Posted 1/17/2009 11:39 PM (GMT 0)
Mollydolly,

I am so sorry that you are going through so much anxiety right now.  I've been where you are, and as I read your post it was exactly what I would have written a few years ago.  All the same symptoms, constantly having some physical sensation that was scaring me, and awful mornings. 

I agree that looking into cbt is a great place to start, it has given me my life back.  There are some good sites on the web, if you search for cbt.  I also learned alot from books by Claire Weekes, though there are many other books out there that are great as well.  I hope that you will keep posting here, the support from others who understand what you are going through is one of the best "medicines" there is!

Posted 1/17/2009 11:44 PM (GMT 0)
HI Molly
If you go to the top of the forum you will see Resources
The one with WEN"S name on it has all the techniques ppl use here
Relaxation breathing......CBT
It iis free and it is good from my own experience I have gotten alot out of it
There is another link in the thread CBT .....What is is .........

I have been where you are and like Nikki said we all have good and bad days but we come here and we get the support and input from others

YOU are surley not alone with this

I wake up and am dizzy
I cannot sleep unles I take my trazadone it is a med that stops you from all the things that keep going round and round in your head..........
I take them and a HOT MILK .....with cinamon on top and I am out for the count in about 20 30 minutes top
I wake restful and have a good feeling about the day to come
Anticipatory anxiety is quite common as well
There is also a thread on it ......and health anxiety
Please have a look see at them and see if anything may help you out

Glad you are with us

STAY with us we will get yo thru this

LYN
Posted 1/19/2009 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
Garen,
For being so much younger than I am I didnt think it was possible to be going through alot of the same issues. It obviously doesnt matter your age huh. Most of the women in my family have suffered from some form of anxiety also. Mine just seems to be one of the most severe cases. My goal right now is to get it under control so that I dont pass this down to my kids. I wouldnt wish this feeling on my worst enemy. Every night is when my anxiety is the worst. I will sit there and look at my hands and feet obsessing about why they are tingling and numb. I have been trying not to look it up though and keep my mind in a different place but it is so hard. You said you dont do physical activity either I relate 100%. I have to go up and down two flights of stairs to do my laundry and put it away and i will do it once and sit down because my heart is pounding and i am sick to my stomach and very dizzy. Have you also had your doctor do alot of different tests on you? If so are you ever satisfied with what they tell you?
Posted 1/20/2009 6:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hello, Rajjjjj...., and welcome to HW.

You may want to start a new thread introducing yourself, so that other members can meet you. It usually generates more responses when you do that.

I'm glad to hear that you got checked out for possible physical problems, and that they've come back good. You're right to start new habits that help you control your anxiety. That's great news that the exercise is working!

percycat
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