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Posted 1/21/2009 9:08 PM (GMT 0)
Morning family, still battling a nasty heatwave here in the land down under. its sweaty and humid and gross! Even with the air-con going, its too hot to sleep. so i spent last night thinking and i decided to put this question to you:

"Do you spend time dwelling on the negative events from the past, or do you actively try and focus on the positives that the future holds?"

 

 

I know that for me, i hold on to the hurts and mistakes of my past. i dwell on my frustrations and think "if only id known then, what i know now" etc. i let it get to me and replay scenarios in my head when i should be putting it ALL behind me 100% and focusing on a more positive, brighter future. sadly i find it easier to focus on the injustices of the past. i have to start working on that.

How bout you?

Maz XX

Posted 1/21/2009 9:19 PM (GMT 0)

  Some injustices yes, but looking into new things and ways of making them work better for my hobby's

  trying to get more active with family and building a new 4x4 buggy

  Cowboy up

Posted 1/21/2009 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
I tend to dwell on things that I should have changed at that time in my past and kinda beat myself up over it but then my rational side tries to take over and says you can't change the past, work on making the changes you want for your life now. So I kinda see saw between the two, trying to definitely lean towards more focusing on the positives the future holds.
Posted 1/21/2009 10:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hello HW Family!!!

I used to be like that and it just exacerbated my anxiety and depression. I went through so much as a child and learned to deal with things pretty good over the years, and CBT has helped me so much on fixing the rest of my personal issues that I didn't realize were a problem for many years :) I also have been spending more time with my family and reviving/discovering hobbies to move on with my future in a more positive way. Want to spend what years I have left with loved ones, making new memories to hold on to, because life is too short, IMHO.

The best piece of advice I can give is to just let go of the past because there is nothing we can do to change it. Learn the lessons and move on because most people that have been hurtful are not even thinking about you anymore. . . So don't give people or certain situations the power to continue the cycle of pain.
Posted 1/21/2009 10:24 PM (GMT 0)

Hey there, Great question Maz..............

You all know I am the "Stay in the Moment" lady.  I try to be where my butt is and focus on what is going on around me.  I will daydream about the future a lot at bed time as I drift off but I try not to get into anticipatory anxiety as that was part of my meltdown...........the what if's that might go wrong.

Well that is me. smhair

Kitt

Posted 1/22/2009 12:41 AM (GMT 0)
I always dwell on the past. I dwell on bad things people say to me. I have conversations in my head with people in my family. I just realized recently how much I do this. It's a bad habit. But it also makes it difficult when some of the mistakes I've made in the past affect my life today. How can you not think about it? Sometimes I wish I could just start over. Other times I wonder how I got here? Where did the years go? This is as successful as I'm going to be? Too much thinking.
Posted 1/22/2009 4:43 AM (GMT 0)
i dwell way too much on the past. i replay convos over and over in my head until i drive myself crazy. i love thinking about the future but try not to too much bcos then it just makes me more anxious. i'm trying to stay in the here and now!

xoxo
Posted 1/22/2009 7:16 AM (GMT 0)
I worry more about the future I think, I dwell on the what if's too much. I'm really working hard to stay in the moment. To not worry about things I can't change or do anything about. To realize that I don't have control over everything, and that it's okay for me to not worry. That part is hard for me.

Sometimes I dwell on things in the past, but the future is my main problem.
Posted 1/22/2009 11:49 PM (GMT 0)
I've been trying very hard over the last few months to keep my thoughts positive and not allow the past or the negative thoughts in.  It does make a difference in how I feel and what I can do as far as getting out, going places, etc.  It's still a full time job though to keep control, and those negatives can still sneak up on me at times.
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