Hypochondria + Armpit pain, swollen lymph.

Hey everyone.

Pretty upset right now. I have hypochondria. I'm 23 years old, male, former military.

It runs my life, and ruins everything. I suffer from General Anxiety disorder, hypochondria, obsessive compulsive, major depressive disorder, and I apparantly have a skewed perception of reality and perception checking problems - according to my psychologist.


I'm overall very healthy. I've been smoking, however, for a year and a half now, although today I bought the gum, and I'm quitting. I suppose you know... us hypochondriacs go through every phase of disorders. I've been through the AIDs panic, started at 13 (lost virginity at 19). Been through cancers, hepatitis, MS, etc, etc. I'm losing it guys. I ... I have no one in my family who cares anymore. I lost my job and my health insurance. No VA coverage because I had some army problems, whatever.

Last year, one day I was taking a shower and I was rubbing my armpit and I felt a lump. I went to the doctor and he said it was too small to biopsy, and lymph nodes sometimes just get hard/clogged. So over the last year my armpits would start to get sore sometimes. Like, it was always my right armpit. It would feel achy, kina radiate to my shoulder blade and my pec muscle. But, I duno... recently I got bit by a spider on my leg, and then I looked under my armpit the next day and there was a bigger lymph node (2 weeks ago, still swollen). Plus recently my left armpit kina aches, too. It feels like my nerves or something. It's not bone, but I also think it feels like right below my skin, like if my deodarant was causing it.

I also think it could be me smoking. It seems like whenever I smoke, I will feel the pain after for a while. I smoke like a pack a day.(Quiting tomorrow though). I duno, I have no insurance anymore, I think I could have lymphoma. I duno. I'm sorry, I usually am a very good writer, but right now I'm emotionless, and I don't care. I never get sick though. Never throw up, dont remember the last time I had diareha, or a fever, or a cold. It's just, my armpits have hurt for about a year now... and I think I feel a hard lymph node in my back under my rib cage. I duno guys... I know no one here are doctors. I'm afraid of even seeing one, he might just tell me I have what I fear the most. Plus, I have no money, no insurance, no will left to even fight. Kina feel like, if I do have cancer or whatever, it's been a good run - might just take what I can get and try to be happy. I duno, anyone... any insight? Thank you.

Sounds like your having a tough run...Hang in there babe! You have found a great site for support and advice. I hope you start to feel a little better soon. Goodluck for the quitting smoking tomorrow! Let me know how it all goes for you. gillxx

Jaxx

Hey there and welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Forum. I am Kitt.

I understand how isolated you must be feeling, but perhaps it is time to tell your Mother and any other family members that you cannot be the only one to care for your Grandmother......... No one person can be on duty 24/7 without some relief.

With your own Health Anxiety issues you need time for yourself.

Please remember to not over think your sx, but try to stay in the moment...............if you feel you want to see a physician you need to do so.

Here is a great resource for you:

The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, Fourth Edition

Pass Through Panic: Freeing Yourself from Anxiety and Fear
by: Claire Weekes

You can order it online and if you look to the right you will see our resources links here on HW. Amazon.com has a large selection of self help materials...........you will find they are listed in our resources.

Take care and stick with us.............you are family now.

Kitt

Glad to hear the spider bite is gone! You are going through a lot. I agree with others who say you can't take care of your grandma alone. Help is coming with your Aunt, so that's good. Hang in there and find some ways to reduce your stress. This forum has lots of ideas on how to do that. Let us know what's going on and how you're glands are holding up!