To Kitt.....

Julie,

My sister had her surgery 3 weeks ago yesterday and they did a complete hysterectomy, removed her omentum, and a right radical mastectomy. She started to bleed the next day from her mastectomy site so back to surgery where they found a small vessel bleeding and repaired that.  Her path reports shows microsopic cells on mutiple areas yet so she will have 2 more rounds of chemo.  Also the ureter to the right kidney was damaged from the cancer and chemo so it is not open and at the end of March they will try to place a  stent to open this ureter up.  She still has a nephrostomy tube draining her right kidney.

She left to go home to ND for a week and then will be back for her next round of chemo and to deal with the ureter.

I feel very lucky and blessed to have watched her come back from death's door.  The prayers of everyone here and the support has been awesome and I so appreciate your asking.

You are a gem.

Hugs
Kitt 

Yes, I am still praying too dear Kitt :) My prayer list gets longer by the day, but I've never felt so close to God ever. It is a mixed blessing. . .

Kitt,

I'm very glad to hear about your sister's recovery.  I'm sure she was thrilled to be able to go home for a week.  I will continue to pray for her, and for you.

If you don't mind my asking, you've mentioned several times that you have been having a pretty tough time lately, which is completely understandable with all you've been through, but you never elaborate...so how are you doing?

Thank you so much everyone.  I have been fortunate to catch a nasty URI so my head feel like the size of a giant beach ball. 

You sweet words do make me feel special...........thanks my friends.

Kitt

Junebug05

I am struggling a lot right now, as I am trying to go off AD's and have managed to get down to the lowest dose a day, a lot of other stress going on too.

My oldest son and his wife on the West Coast are having serious issues so I am afraid for them yet I know I cannot do anything about it.

They have 3 of my beautiful grandchildren and my heart is breaking to see a family divided.

I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders but with so many others with bigger problems I have tried to just keep going and not say a lot on here.  I sit here crying as I am feeling very lost right now.

I feel so alone, literally, no one  to turn too accept more therapists and Pdocs and I am so tired of them being my only human contact.

With members like nikki fighting for their lives, I feel very selfish for complaining.

Thank you for asking, and I will be Ok.

Hugs

Kitt

Kitt,
You are not selfish at all. We can pray for you right alongside Nikki. You are both important.

I am glad you sister made it through the last round of treatment & will continue praying for her and that some other family members will step up to the plate so not as much responsibility falls on you. Just a thought -- and I do say this with as much care as I can gather & as gently as possible -- perhaps it would be better to wait until things settle down a bit before coming off the anti-depressants. Is there a reason you need to get off them now, or would it be possible to get through some of the extreme stress & then start to cut down the dose.

You have taken on so much lately -- a new job, taking care of your sister, worrying about your son -- and now you are sick on top of everything. I know you're just making sure everyone is provided for & that is admirable, but please take some time off to care for yourself as well. Nothing wrong with crying & we are always here to support you. But there's no shame in staying on the anti-depressants a while longer if they were helping. Well ... I'm sure you already know that. Take care of yourself. :)

hugs & prayers,
frances

Thank you all, I am staying on the low dose of AD for now.  I am using my Valium for the anxiety.  I don't do sick well and now with the sun out and it being spring break, I just want to be out of the doom and gloom of all for awhile.

JournalDan,

My youngest son tells me eactly what you do when I doubt myself as a Mom and how much I can do to help them.

I know that my prolbems are real and that all of you are always so supportive and I thank each of you for the support.  My sister will be back on the 25th for her next round of chemo.

I did not see her before she left as I did not want to expose her to the nasty URI I have going on.

OK, pity party over,  they do not help me and I know what I need to do, STAY IN The Moment, which is right now, right here.

Luvs ya all

Kitt

Kitt, I sent you an e-mail this morning.  I am happy to hear your sister was well enough to travel back to ND for a week.  I hope you are feeling better by the time you get this.  I have been out of the loop for a few days.  Remember to stay in the moment.  CBT as well.  You will make it thru this.  You are one of the strongest people I know.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I agree Becky (and others) Kitt you are remarkable and deserve so much kudos for being here for all of us while going through so much. You are the type of person I want to be, your and inspiration and I'm proud to call you a friend :)

Kitt, 

I'm so sorry that you are having such a difficult time, and then the drama here added to that, whew talk about overload!  Please don't ever feel selfish by being honest about your struggles, and asking for support, that is what we all come here for, and that includes you.  It breaks my heart that you feel alone, I've been there too, and it is such a miserable place to be.  Please know that I am always here if you just need a friend. 

You did an amazing job with the whole mess here on HW, and now I hope you will take some time for yourself to recharge and please let some of us help support you for a while!