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Posted 3/20/2009 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi family- its 4.30am here in beautiful sydney. i should be asleep, but i cant. i wake every night from fractured sleep cos my fibro has flared and i cannot get comfortable. ive just taken prescription pain meds and am waiting for them to kick in, but its wrecking me and my anxiety is higher than ususal because my sleep has been so messy and scattered for weeks now. the last week has been super tough, waking up at regular intervals & not being able to take pain meds as i have to teach and i cant do that with opiates in my system. (i could try, but i think it would backfire! rolleyes )

I always take my Xanax before i go to bed, been doing that for 7yrs now and i swear i cant feel it. i know its working because im not in a constant state of panic, and the dose im on is substantial but it doesnt relax me the way it used to.

Im sorry- i tried reading & that didnt work (biography of Dr Catherine Hamlin who created the first 'fistula' hospital for women in ethiopia, its fascinating) so i thought id jump on here and just get this heaviness off my chest. im run down and fatigued, which in turn, makes my nerves scream.

i just want to sleep through the night like 'normal' people and get a nice 8 hours. too much to ask? apparently.

Much love from down under,

Maz XX

Posted 3/20/2009 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry to hear you are having such as hard time sleeping. I wake up at least once or twice a night myself, but luckily for me I am usually able to go back to sleep. I think your anxiety is kicking up because of the lack of sleep, at least that is what it does to me. I know you take a zillion pills a day like I do, but have you ever tried Benedryl to help you sleep? I have a strong med tolerance and most meds like Phenergan that knock people out for 24 hours plus, don't effect me like that. But I am able to take the Benedryl and it helps me to sleep. Just thought I would throw that out there as a suggestion.

Hope you can find some relief soon.

(((Hugs)))

Gail *Nanners*
Posted 3/20/2009 7:19 PM (GMT 0)

Gail its like you read my mind! i just got up and had some benadryl- i too have a high tolerance for pain meds but somehow the benadryl does help me sleep, i just hate the taste! yep my anxiety is far worse when i am running on minimal sleep-

Love you bunches, i just emailed you,

Maz XX

Posted 3/20/2009 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Maz,

I basically just wanted to pop in and say hi to you. I hope that you are feeling better and not too tired.

I too take xanax, I have taken it for almost 20 years and it still to this day works well for me. Have you talked to your doctor about ambien? That is a good sleep med and I take it nightly. I can sleep, but I get what is called a tired sleep. I am still exhausted in the morning when I get up. But with the ambien, I get a more restful sleep.

I hope that you feel better soon and get some rest.

Karen
Posted 3/20/2009 7:58 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Maz-a- roo,

If I cannot sleep I am one anxious and crazed woman. Like Nanners I have a high tolerance for meds which of course some Docs think means I am could become addicted............ssssssshhhhhhh. At my age would that be so bad......kidding.

I had trouble and was on Ativan  which my Pdoc took me off of because I might become addicted.  redface   So we went to some of the non-narcotic sleeping meds, no luck.  Finally she gave me Trazadone and I do well at 100mg every night.  I can take 150 mg but 100mg does the job.  First night it did not and I thought great.........second night it kicked in and I use it faithfully.

Benadryl, I would not get the sleepy feeling, just doesn't work for me.

I am sorry you are having problems. HOpe your soon sleeping like a baby.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 3/20/2009 8:47 PM (GMT 0)

morning Karen & Kitt! you guys rock. ive been up for 3hrs now and the sun is rising and im going to try and sleep. the fibro pain is just unbearable at the moment,

love to all,

Maz XX         zzzzzzzzzz redface zzzzzzzzzzz

Posted 3/20/2009 8:59 PM (GMT 0)

Maz, Maz, Maz... Geez... too bad the two of us couldn't get together in the middle of the night for a good cup of camomille tea and a good chat... I am up and down like a yo-yo every night. I don't remember the last time I slept through the night... in fact lately... my RLS is sooo bad that I am up pacing much of the night... can't catch my breath. 2 a.m seems to be the witching hour for me. I'm convinced it has something to do with my childhood, when I lay awake at night waiting for my violent/ intoxicated dad to come home.... then all hell would break loose. I think my "alarm" clock is still waking me at that hour every night thinking I need to be on the alert in case.....

In any case... not sleeping is THE WORST ! I soooo envy people that drop off the moment they hit the pillow and sleep right through the night... the house could be on fire and they wouldn't wake up.... What a GIFT that is! I hope people who are able to sleep realize how darn lucky they are.!

Meantime.... we insomniacs continue with our nightly vigils.... It sucks... confused sad redface Yawn!

HOpe you are feeling better soon sweetie...

Love and prayers always

Your Mary

Posted 3/20/2009 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
Maz

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time sleeping I can relate to you on that one I hope things start to improve for you soon my friend.

Ben
Posted 3/20/2009 9:59 PM (GMT 0)
(((Maz))) I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted to let you know I am sending big hugs and prayers your way. I know if I don't get enough sleep, it definately increases my anxiety. I hope you get a better night's sleep tonight. (or whatever time it is in Australia, lol!) Blessings, Julie
Posted 3/21/2009 2:18 AM (GMT 0)

Part of the problem with my sleep, is as i mentioned, the pain from my fibro which is in an acute flare at the moment, but i also coughed all night, i have a chest infection with bronchial spasming and i sounded like a seal that barks at people. My mouth is full of ulcers and the corners of my mouth are cracking which is always an indicator for me that im fighting off a huge virus.

I just cant get comfortable. so im miserable. sad

But love you all lots,

Maz XX

Posted 3/21/2009 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
Maz,
Sending you hugs & healing wishes. Can they give you anything better for your pain so you can get to sleep? Once I've tried relaxing & sleeping pills, I give my pain management doc a call to get me some shots to bring the pain under control. Don't know whether that's possible for you, but I do hope you find a way to get some rest & work things out.

Are things still going along with your job? Has any of that improved or are you still being told that you can't miss a single day?

take care,
frances
Posted 3/21/2009 5:56 AM (GMT 0)

Frances_2008 said...


Are things still going along with your job? Has any of that improved or are you still being told that you can't miss a single day?

take care,
frances

Same old- but i DID take moday off anyway as i had a migraine and was vomiting- the principal hasnt said anything, he wont make eye contact with me. i dont know what his problem is, as ive done so much for that school, above and beyond the parameters of my actual role.

Im taking it one day at a time- so i have now had 3 sick days in 9 weeks. for me, that is a super human feat. for the principal, thats ammunition. id really appreciate ongoing prayer with this situation, i have 3 weeks left of 'proving myself' before i find out what happens, although the head of my faculty has told me she will back me 100%, so im hopeful.

Thanks for asking, it IS causing alot of stress.. i do feel emotionally blackmailed by him- ive been there for 3 years and given my all. i know he is cracking down on everyone taking sick leave, but to actually give me an ultimatum is really unfair.

Maz XX

Posted 3/21/2009 1:26 PM (GMT 0)

Hello mazfire: I am sorry to hear how sick you have been feeling and not having been able to sleep.  I know even under normal circumstances lack to sleep can make you feel so irritable, depressed and stressed.

I am usually in the depression forum so I do not know of your prior posts and history with your principal.  I also live in the U.S. so I'm not aware of your laws and how they may be different.  But could you get a lawyer to protect yourself as you have been absent because of valid medical reasons?  Or even here in the U.S. there is an American Disabilities Act, that I have been protected under while in Graduate School that made it mandatory for them to provide me with accommodations once my condition was verified by a doctor.  Do you have anything similar there?

I hope you start feeling better soon and my thoughts will be with you.

Cass

Posted 3/21/2009 5:28 PM (GMT 0)
Maz,
I will definitely send up some extra prayers for you. They are doing the same thing here in Chicago. Any non-contract positions are being forced to comply with unreasonable demands that, while they have been on the books for years, never used to be enforced. Even those teachers with contracts are being strictly monitored & every minor infraction goes into their permanent record. They are planning to eliminate a lot of positions at the end of the year, so all non-union workers are being told they will almost certainly be termed & even many union workers are being non-renewed. One estimate is that, unless Pres. Obama's new legislation provides enough of the right kind of funding, up to 1/3 of my city's public school teachers will be out of jobs at the end of the school year. It's a very sad time for educators around the globe.

It's just really tough times right now & being sick on top of that only makes things worse. Hopefully, though, it won't come to that at your school. I will be praying for you to find favor with the school board, principal & anyone else who can influence your job as well as praying that you would recover from all the illnesses that seem to have been seeking you our lately. :(

((hugs)),
frances
Posted 3/21/2009 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Maz.  I am sorry to hear you are having all this trouble sleeping.  I take Xanax every night too and I can't tell if it is working any longer or not.  I have a horrible time at night.  Mine is due to hot flashes.  I can't sleep they are so bad.  I wish I had some magic pill or cure I could tell you about but I don't.  I've tried Ambien, Ambien CR and Lunesta and Tylenol PM and Benadryl and nothing helps me.  I understand the frustration.  I hope the pain meds got your fibro under control.  I just wanted to send you thoughts and prayers that you can get some relief and sleep SOON.  I totally sympathize with the lack of sleep.  And we still have to work - life stinks sometimes doesn't it.

Posted 3/21/2009 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hey L.A.S.

I have continued praying for you and I have been wondering how you were doing after your last email. I also have been having issues sleeping due to work and pain. . . It sure does make the anxiety flare up. I could never imagine going through the fibro though. I hurt so much I really feel for all of you that suffer from this affliction. I don't know what else to say from all of the great advice, and don't want to rehash all the little tricks that you know :) I just wanted to make sure I jumped on here to let you know you have continued support from me.

How is the heat in Sydney right now as you all are moving into fall? I hope it is not so hot that it is making you sick.

Lot's of love to you. . . Hope the sandman comes soon my friend!
Posted 3/22/2009 12:22 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Maz, I hope you're feeling better soon and are able to get some sleep!  I'm sending prayers your way.

Hugs

-Mel

Posted 3/22/2009 3:22 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Maz,

I hope you are feeling better today as I hate to hear of you being in so much pain and not being able to sleep is one of the toughest things to deal with. 

Being alone in the dark and wide awake has always kicked my anxiety up so I know what your feeling my dear friend.

I am praying for you to get some rest and some peace.  Use your pain medication as you need to.  Try to stay ahead of the pain.  Don't wait until your hurting so bad that it takes the medication longer to take away the pain.

Hugs to you my Maz.

Kitt

Posted 3/23/2009 10:51 AM (GMT 0)

My principal had a go at me today- regardless of the fact i have kept to his 'ultimatum' and had basically NO time off. I decided to assert myself and stand up for myself, which he did not appreciate, how ever i pointed out what he is doing is dishonest and unfair. I got the news this afternoon that the job is MINE! my head of faculty went into bat for me and told him im a valued member of the staff and the school community and that this is not ok.

He made me cry today- he accused me of being lazy, unreliable, poor work ethic etc. That is so far from me. He said i was out of line in asking him to make a decision regarding my future employment. I didnt cry infront of him, i wouldnt give him that satisfaction. It was so mean, because he KNOWS ive moved hell and high water to do my job well. Ive gone above and beyond my job description in order to help my students and colleagues, but this has always gone unnoticed. He ended up back peddling when i suggested taking my recent treatment to the union. I am hurt by this recent change in attitude, as i have only had 3 days off in 9 weeks- and when you see my list of diagnosis in my signature, you will understand that only 3 sick days in 9 weeks is nothing short of miraculous.

I have 3 weeks until the holidays- easter break. I will be going to hospital for IV antibiotics & anti-inflammatories and organising a new, better pain management plan.

I love you guys- you help ease the burden and make it easier to face the day when i know i have your total support & understanding.

Love and blessings to you all,

Maz XX


Posted 3/23/2009 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
First off congrats on nailing the job. And I am glad you stood up for yourself with that mean principal. Sometimes people in power will try to pull the bully routine, but usually if you stand up for yourself they back off. I have experienced this personally. Hang in there only a few more weeks to go and then you can get the rest and medical assitance you need.

Hugs
Gail *Nanners*
Posted 3/23/2009 2:01 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Maz,

Good for you for standing up to the bully and for landing the job.  They are lucky to have someone that will work with the children you work with on a daily basis under some very trying circumstances. No one has the right to bully or harass in the work place and coming from your immediate supervisor is outright hostile environment.

I am so happy for you that you got the job. turn

I hope the next few weeks go by quickly so you can get the medical attention you need and know we are praying for you.

Kitt

Posted 3/23/2009 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
Maz
I sure can relate to the no sleep as of late
I have had perhaps 3 to 5 hrs in a few days
Too much pain ( body n heart) and anguish going on
My family ( bio) as per norm sliced my heart once again

After I see the caring and support here I had waiting for me I am hoping I can sleep alot better tonight
TV is not good all the time ya know
Hoping you get some well DESERVED rest my friend
We do care how you are doing
I have my hot milky at night with trazadone but that hasnt even done the trick......
Usually Trazadone has me out like a light like lil sis

Congrats on the job........so proud of you and they standing up you did for self

YOU are great
Here is to a better restful sleep for you
Luvs
LYN

Posted 3/25/2009 12:53 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Maz,

I just wanted to say that I hope that you are feeling better now. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Congrats on the position. That is wonderful.

Hugs,

Karen
Posted 3/25/2009 8:47 AM (GMT 0)

Thanks guys- sadly its a case of 'the mind is willing, but the body is weak". yes i am so relieved to have regular, dependable work but at the same time, my health is still taking a beating. My fibro is so bad in my right knee and ankle, its hard to get around and as per ususal, sinuses rotting away with bronchial infection. on antiobiotics the size of horse suppositories rolleyes and they DONT work for me!

I have 2 weeks left this term- the holidays CANNOT come soon enough. my pain is particularly bad, im not rested at all, sleep is a mess and constant fever & raised white cells say virus. I got my last batch of test reults back and i have glandular fever (i think you call it mono?) again. it never really goes away.

Im happy and sad at the same time, if that makes sense. by God's grace alone am i getting out of bed at all. And you guys help bunches! wink

Much love,

Maz XX

Posted 3/25/2009 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
Maz how can you work if you have Mono? Isn't that highly contagious? I may be wrong, but aren't you risking infecting your students too? Sorry if I am wrong, but I was under the impression that it is very contagious. Hope you get feeling better soon.

Hugs
Gail *Nanners*
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