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Posted 5/25/2009 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
Have any of you felt like you have lived with A/P so long you don't know what life is like without it?
Posted 5/25/2009 5:30 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, yes and yes!  I recently came off my meds and was doing well for about a month, a little longer...then all of a sudden, boom, back with a vengeance and a whole new set of symptoms of anxiety!  I am going to a new PDoc on Wed though, so thank goodness for that! 

I hope this message finds you well!

Posted 5/25/2009 6:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

Yes I have lived with anxiety for so long that its hard to imagine life without it, I was chatting to my phycologist about this and said that I feel it has shaped my personality and that it will be hard to change that which is why she asked me to think about if i really wanted to improve things. The answer was yes the positives of change outweigh the negative and hopefully when i start cbt i will be able to move forwards and make that change which i know will be hard work but worth it.

Ben
Posted 5/25/2009 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
Ditto, I have lived with anxiety for so long. I can only "remember" life without it as a dream. I was ok when I was a kid. Very young kid. I'm guessing I was between the ages of 8 and 13. 13 is what I remember most. We had moved out of town and I was worried about a bunch of things. Of course the move and such.
But I remember more at 13 then I do at 8. Which is normal for me as I don't always remember much about my childhood anyway.

So you can kinda say I don't know life without anxiety. I do sob a lot and wish I could be normal. And just be able to leave the house without freaking out. Which I do EVERY time I step out the door. There is not a single time I leave this house that I don't have anxiety or a full blown pa.
Posted 5/26/2009 12:27 PM (GMT 0)
Yes.  One night during my therapy session the therapist asked if I had ever considered hypnotherapy, not as some kind of weird tool to take me back to my childhood or anything, but just as a relaxation technique.  I told him my husband was a fellow in medical and clinical hypnosis and I could NEVER be hypnotized as I am too reluctant to lose control.  Okay, he says and starts to talk, and there I am on the ole leather sofa just listening to his voice...the next thing I knew I was laying down with my head on a throw pillow and he is saying 'Do you think you can drive home?"  An entire hour had passed.

 

Anyway, I felt great, the most relaxed I had felt in many years...until I got home.  Then, I had the worst panic attack I had had in ten years.  I called the therapist immediately.  His explanation was that my body was rebelling against those few panic few moments and was insistant upon throwing me back into the mode I had been living in for most of my life.  I don't know...maybe if I knew that attack was coming I might have been able to control it.  But it just showed me how persistant and determined anxiety can be.  And for those who do not believe it is some kind of chemical imbalance I am living proof that it is.

 

Don't know what it is like to live without it, and didn't know what to do when I was free of it for just an hour!

 

Donna

 

 

Posted 5/26/2009 12:55 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Jon

Me too.  I have lived with it for so long that when I have a few hours of feeling good and not feeling the anxiety and nervousness I am afraid, as it feels like someone is playing a cruel joke on me..................letting me have a taste of what no anxeity feels like and then I get jerked back into who I really am......................a person with anxiety.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 5/26/2009 2:52 PM (GMT 0)
My anxiety seems to be greatly related to my Crohns Disease. I have noticed recently that because my Crohns is doing well right now, I have less anxiety. I worry though that when I flare again, what it will do with my anxiety. I still have some anxiety now that my health is fairly good, but luckily I am able to stop it and control it.
Posted 5/26/2009 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
I have thought about this so much lately. I just want my life back but I have been fighting anxiety foe so long that I don't know what "normal" for me anymore. All I have are these distant memories of what my life was before anxiety (10 years ago) I am 30 and for those 10 yrs I should have been doing something more with my life other than living in fear. Now that I have 2 kids I have to live for them and I always worry about them going through what I am going through I wouldn't even wish anxiety on my enemy. I cry every time I think about how my life could be if things were normal for me. It really sucks.
Posted 5/26/2009 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
The key word a lot of us use is "fighting". "I've been fighting anxiety...." The point is, we're not supposed to fight it. We all know it but it's difficult. I do it. I watch for it and wait for it. If I feel normal, I feel strange. It's been a long time for me, too.
Posted 5/28/2009 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
If we're all used to living with A/P, when do we know when to seek help?
Posted 5/28/2009 8:48 AM (GMT 0)
I seek help as soon as i get anxious because it hits with such force that it just about knocks me over. It debilitates me bigtime and i stop work almost instantly and lose weight from not eating and not sleeping etc. Having said that, this episode has been 5 weeks and i'm just getting used to the meds and still quite bad. I haven't lived with anx regularly but get big episodes which scare me are are disgusting, and so in between times if i get anxious about anything at all i worry that i'm getting anxiety again. So i'm anxious about getting anxious alot. I think that's common for us. Aries8 is right, if we can stop the fight, disempower the anxiety, we will have a chance to feel better, but that is soo hard to do. As soon as i get anxiety symptoms i just need them to GO AWAY.
To nellebutter, I worry about my 2 kids getting this too, and I also say that i wouldn't wish this on anyone. Its bad
Posted 5/28/2009 10:13 AM (GMT 0)
IMO, Seeking help is up to the person. Some people can "fight" this pretty well. Then there are people like me who are crippled by this "thing" as I call it.
Always keep in touch with a doc about how the anxiety/pa is effecting you. Keep track of what it might take away from you.
A lot of people (well most of us) start avoiding places,people, and things when we get a PA over them. We associate PA's with those mentioned. I for one can not drive because I have PA's while driving. I don't leave the house because my PA's are worse.
When this started I should of went to the doc for help. Instead I let it become so bad I'm home bound, I can't leave without a "safe" person and it is for a very short time. If I had gotten intervention before all this. I would still have my RGM job and making really good money. But I let it over take me.

I also worry about my kids. My oldest daughter shows signs of Health anxiety. She stresses over everything. But yet I can reinforce it right now that she is ok. Simple things set her off. She got bit by an ant last night and was worried about it for several hours. She scratched so hard she caused it to bleed. And worried about that.
My other 2 are not showing any signs yet. But I'm keeping my oldest well informed since this is being passed down. As my dad has it and 3 of 4 brothers do. (the 4th I have not seen in 30 years)

I would not wish this on anyone. It is not "fair" in my mind for anyone to suffer like this.
Posted 5/28/2009 11:51 AM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Jon,

If you  find it impossible to banish your fears and worries, even when you're trying to relax or unwind I would suggest seeking help.   Anxiety can go on for months and months. You may feel you've lost control over managing it. And it may interfere with your ability to carry out daily routines.

Your worries are unlikely to simply go away on their own, and they may actually get worse over time. Try to seek professional help even before your anxiety becomes this severe — it may be easier to treat.

I wish you peace today and everyday.

Kitt

Posted 5/28/2009 2:33 PM (GMT 0)
You know what's funny. Last night I think I actually started to have a panic attack because I wasn't feeling anxious! I've gotten so use to that feeling of constant anxiety that if I notice I don't have it, it feels foreign to me, and of course any foreign feeling can be a trigger for me. Now how messed up is that? It's like I have to adjust to living without anxiety after having it for so long. I'm just glad that I can finally feel myself starting to get better.
Posted 5/29/2009 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi roger47, thats good to hear, that you're feeling better. What's the secret?! you could bottle it and make a fortune. Anxiety just feeds more anxiety and we have to break the connection somehow. But when i'm in the grip of it, all rational thoughts are gone and so is my energy to do anything about it. But I can say that while those moments are terrible, they do pass (even tho i don't believe that at the time). I love coming here and reminding myself that we can get through this
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