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Posted 6/28/2009 2:10 AM (GMT 0)
Today was a ok day spent most of the day out but out of it my mind was off on other things. I feel kind of bad as well cause I can't get it right here on the message board I keep making new post I thought the last one should be a new one cause it was a different day but I was wrong. I'm feeling pretty depressed right now and alone I sure hate those feelings. My anxiety has gonna a little better but i'm still fighting this darn depression not sure what to do i'm already on meds that are helping me with my anxiety so I don't want him switching me all around but my therapist does know I'm pretty depressed. I have a hard time making friends my personality is so crazy well actually keeping them is what's hard. Cause I go through depression and no one wants to be around a sad sack all of the time. Even on these message boards I feel as I just don't fit in and that is so sad to me I try so hard I just don't know what i'm doing wrong. Well take care everyone....April
Posted 6/28/2009 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hey April, your not new here, but Ive never had the pleasure of speaking to you, so its nice to meet you.

But, I wanted to say something to you because I know EXACTLY how you feel. I promise I do. I usually post on the depression forum and I have a post working there right now. ("need to talk") In case you want to check it out and see what I mean. But anyways... I am the same way, I just started a new med a few weeks ago and I had higher expectations and they havent been met, not even half way. My mood swings have been as extreme up and down, rather they are mostly down constantly.

I feel very alone. Even when I vent on here. I do it because I know people here understand and I want to talk about it... but I still feel more alone than ever. I have friends, but they are drifting away now that I have graduated. Everyone is moving in different directions. And making new friends is completely impossible for me because Im not social. Im always depressed and dont want to do anything. And when I do, Im quiet. So, I cant make friends at all. I try really hard, but it just never works.

I talked with my psychiatrist yesterday and he said some inspiring things and I was happy with what he said, but it wasnt a fix. BEcause last night I had a huge breakdown crying and even rage. Of course, I hide these from everyone, except on here. When I go back in a month I will most likely end up adding an additional med to try to help, unless a miracle happens before then. Or unless I end up calling for an earlier appt...

Well, I just wanted to let you know that you arent alone out there. And your not going through this alone. Im not so sure what to do either... We all just want it to end and get better so we can be "normal".... I hope this helped some. I wanted to try. I just dont want you to feel alone. Even if I do, I know the people on here understand more than anyone else. So, keep posting and venting. Let it all out... you can at least count on the fact that I am here for you, as Im sure many others are as well.

Take Care, and let me know if you need to talk....
Posted 6/28/2009 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
April, please know that you are not alone. Everyone here is hopeful that things turn out well for you. I've experienced similar problems in the past and would suggest looking for positive things to think about. For example, for years my Dad was a smoker and toward the end of his life he just couldn't breathe well. He use to say he would give anything to be able to breathe effortlessly like he did when he was much younger. I breathe fine and try to thank God for this small gift....or is it small at all?  Think for a minute about this question.   I think we all tend to focus on the negative, then this becomes a bad habit for us. It's so easy to do, especially when negativity seems to hit us in the face so often. It takes a little more effort to look for the positive, but I will promise that if you really practice this, it will become easier and will help. Will it solve all of your problems - maybe not, but maybe it will help. You are on the right track in looking for help & support. You note in your post, "Even on these message boards I feel as I just don't fit in and that is so sad to me I try so hard I just don't know what i'm doing wrong." Who says you're doing anything wrong? I perceive this as another example of the negativity taking over. YOU'RE DOING FINE on this board in my humble opinion. So this is my suggestion, sit down with a piece of paper and list what are true gifts that you have and don't assume any of these are minor. Such as: can you breathe well, can you walk, do you have eyesight, can you operate a computer and find help and support on a forum like this, do you have a doctor that's willing to work with you in the hope of finding a solution (even though it may take awhile), do you have a roof over your head, etc. Try to spend just as much time thinking of the positive as you spend thinking of the negative. This will take practicing, but you're worth it. Take three deep breaths...relax....& smile.....You're God's creation and he doesn't make mistakes. Have a great day.
Posted 6/28/2009 1:38 PM (GMT 0)
April let me try to explain to you why we have asked you to add to your original post. First off its the bandwidth issue, we need to try to conserve it some. The other thing is your post yesterday had to do with the same subject your therapy visit, so that is why I was gently reminding you to add to your original post as they are the "same topic". I hope that clears up some confusion. If you are talking about the same issue (topic), i.e. your therapy visit they should be in the same post. But if a new issue you can start a new post, you don't need to do a new post because its a different day. Stay with us we are here for you, we too are trying to live life with these darn conditions too, and the help I receive here has really helped me.

As for the depression, I think arkclk gave some great advise. Try to stop focusing on the negative so much. Try to think of the positives in your life. Also, I am not sure which med you recently started, but if its not a quick acting anxiety med (Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, Valium), the longer term meds generally take 4-6 weeks to fully kick in. So give it some time and I think you will see one day, things just seem a little brighter, thats the meds kicking in.

Good luck,
Gail *Nanners*
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