Last Night

April, hang in there. I think it's great that you'rre working with a therapist and that you're part of a group. My attacks were very similar in that you could never predict when they would hit. Here's the main thing I've come to realize: After the attack is over we still hold onto it. Why do we do this? If you have a headache, take Advil and in 30 minutes the headache is gone, you don't think anything of it. It's over, great news. However, with a panic attack, as soon as it's over, we start worrying about the next one. When will it happen? Will it be worse than the last one? Where will I be when it happens? And on and on and on.... Sometime I hope you will find a solution, but until then know we are out here and care for you. Keep posting and letting us know how you're doing. Try not to spend too much time looking back at what has happened. You are doing better!

April, just thinking about you and wondering how you're doing?

Hi April!
I just have to say my anxiety is similar in the respect that it doesn't hit me till I least expect it. A few years back I had 6 months of pure craziness in my life, I was so focused on just making it through the day and dealing with everything coming at me all at once, I thought I was doing great at "handling" everything. Well 3 months after things had sort of settled down I started having panic attacks all the time, in the middle of the night I'd be up for hours shaking wondering what the heck was wrong with me, I went through tons of doctors and tests, it all came down to anxiety. I had some minor problems with it in the past but nothing huge and I couldn't figure out why all of a sudden I couldn't handle anything. My doctor was stumped until she asked me what had been going on over the last year or so and I went thru the list and she was like "Well no wonder you're having terrible anxiety!" - Totally took me by surprise. I never really thought you could bottle things up like that and they'd come out later! I've learned from it and try to process things as they come. But it was definitely a wake up call - consciously I'd forgotten all the "stuff" but apparently my sub-conscious remembered and was like "HEY I'M NOT DONE WITH THAT!". So strange how our minds work. Thanks for this post and I really hope you are feeling better and healing! It takes time but you will get there!
~Dixi