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anxiety takes control of me

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Posted 10/22/2009 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hey all. I'm new here. I'm 24 years old and I have been suffering on and off with panic and anxiety for about 10 years now. It goes away for awhile and I live a normal happy life and then all of a sudden an attack comes on and I feel like I am 14 all over again, not knowing what to do. I have this obsessive thought that I have a brain tumor or an aneurysm. I've had this thought since I was 14. What triggered it yesterday was head pain. Sometimes I get headaches that feel like they're shooting through my head and they only last a couple seconds, those scare me the most. A normal headache I can deal with. Yesterday and today I've had this pressure on the right side of my head on the temple and around it. It feels like something is in there pushing out. I clench my jaw a lot and sometimes I don't even notice it until I unclench and my jaw hurts. Sometimes I get warm sensations in my throat...Like I just drank warm water. That scares me. The other day I was driving home and I had to stop because I was so dizzy I couldn't focus my eyes. That sent me into a tailspin and I had to take a Klonopin...First one in almost a month. I've had them for almost 2 months and have only taken 5 maybe. And I take a half when I take them. Look at me...I'm all over the place with my typing. This anxiety takes control of me and rules my life. The other day I had to pop a pill and I spent all day on the couch, mind racing, having panic attacks on and off until i was exhausted enough to fall asleep. My neck hurts at the base of my head, my husband doesn't want to spend time with me because I can't get my thoughts onto something other than what's wrong with me or what I'm dying from. There just seems to be no end to this madness I feel I have created. I'm sorry if none of this makes sense. I just needed advice or to know someone else was going thru the same thing.

I gave your thread a title.

Posted 10/22/2009 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hey LaurelB,

Welcome to HW and the Anxiety-Panic Forum. You are most definitely not the only one that is going through this, I have experienced the same things myself, along with many other members on this forum. You are not alone anymore :)

I think the best advice to give you at this time, is to suggest that you go and see your doc so he/she can get you straightened out on your meds so you have something to help you while working out some sort of therapy. Your doc may know a therapist in your area that will be beneficial. If you would like to get started with something to help you today, you can go to the top of the A/P Forum page, and you will see a thread marked Anxiety-Panic Resources. Click on it and scroll down to the links to MoodGYM (free online CBT therapy) and other links to Breathing & Relaxation exercises. Another bit of help would be to use our search here at HW and just look up things that you would like to find out more about.

I wish you the best of luck and please stick with us my friend :)
Posted 10/22/2009 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hey LaurelB and welcome to Healingwell. I might make a suggestion regarding your Klonopin. When I first start feeling the anxiety ramping up, I take my Xanax at the first hint and I am able to stop it in its tracks that way. Maybe instead of waiting till it gets that bad, you can catch it at the start before it gets out of hand. That seems to work well for me. And I only use my Xanax 1-3 times a month. Hope that helps a little.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Posted 10/22/2009 8:40 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Laurel
Everything you said makes sense to us anxiety sufferers. Your physical sensations are just anxiety taking a different form. When I was really bad I had several different body pains and reactions that were not the typical ones but were still anxiety. Your symptoms sound classic anxiety to me.
I also found that taking a med such as xanax early worked well too as nanners described.
Also the laying on sofa with mind racing and recurrent P/A sounds familiar too! I spent many a time in that position.
I hope you find the resources helpful
Jazzy
Posted 10/24/2009 3:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Laurel, I'm Gill and I feel exactly the same right now, mine comes and goes too. I like you can be ok for months then wham bam the panic hits. I've been really bad all week. Mine is down to my health too. I also have Crohn's and an ileostomy, the former since 1983 and the latter since 1997.

This latest bout of anxiety I'm sure is a result of my Mum having a stroke in January and now she's home and I'm responsible for her. She has carers and lives nearby but the stress has still got too much and it's hit me really hard again. I've been really really tense, muscular wise. Teeth grinding every night, muscle twitches, aching, all sorts of nasty stuff. Now I'm getting mad because my space bar isn't working properly grrr, having to go back over everthing.....sorry must stop ranting, anyway I'm freaking out that I've got something like MS or Parkinsons or even mad cows disease!! Then I'll end up having another big panic attack and I panic that I'll have a stroke!! Seriously it's ridiculous but I just can't help it!

I've got a lot on my plate, financial difficulties never help and it's bad at the moment so I'm going to the docs on Thursday, I've had enough. I've never been prescribed anything other than excercises when I've gone before but I need something, anything to help me through this rough patch, it's really getting me down too. I'm so emotional I just cried reading your post! It's made me feel a little bit better though, thank you!

I'd be happy to chat with you,maybe we can help each other!

(((((Hugs)))))

Gill
Posted 10/25/2009 11:29 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your responses.  I haven't been feeling very well today so I have to make this brief so I can go lay back down.  To Jazzy and Nanners- I try to not take my Klonopin when I feel the onset of an attack.  I've tried to learn the breathing techniques and ways to cope with them.  I have a fear that if I take the meds, I will always need them and then I will become addicted to them...And that's not something I need with all that I feel I have wrong already.  I'm too reliant on different things.  I appreciate you taking the time and reading my post though...It makes me feel so much better to know that I am not alone.  Today I have been extremely dizzy and I've had to take it easy.  My husband and I took the kids shopping this afternoon and I ended up coming home and passing out from exhaustion.  Then I woke up a little panicky...which isn't that bad because I usually wake up a little freaked any time I take a nap.  I'm making a dr's appointment tomorrow.  My husband thinks my dizziness is caused by my ears.  I get infections at least four times a year.  And right now my left ear is killing me.  But my irrational mind is not thinking ear infection I'm thinking it has something to do with my "tumor". :(  I hope I get out of this stage sometime...It's really cutting into my every day life...I only leave my house when I ABSOLUTELY have to. 

To Gill- I know how you feel...My panic came back this summer because it just seemed like my whole life started crashing around me.  My husband and I were seperated, I couldn't find a job, and then where I was living my friends found a new house and waited until the last minute to tell me they were moving and didn't have any room for me.  I just crumbled...I wound up in the ER thinking I was having a stroke or an aneurysm...Whatever was making my head hurt at the time.  It was the first time my anxiety ever reached the level of me having to seek medical attention.  When I was younger my parents knew what it was so they never took me to the hospital.  Some days are harder for me then others...Like you, I've been having a bad week.  Every day I am struck with the overwhelming feeling that I am on my last breath.  I can't get out of this frame of mind.  I refuse to take the antidepressants that my Dr put me on...They caused my anxiety to worsen...I couldn't handle it.  Anyway, if you want to talk I'm more than happy to.  It helps me to have someone there to talk to...My husband doesn't understand and he blows up on me sometimes and says I'm crazy....Which I may be...But it helps to have some support.

Posted 10/28/2009 3:50 AM (GMT 0)
 

  HI  LaurelB
   There is a post with an interesting idea for panic attacks from PaigeDP (dated 10/24), under the thread "Well I'm a Wreck again."  Not everything works for everyone, of course, but any little bit of relief is NICE. Good luck...take one day at a time.  I feel a difference (better) when I get in some physical exercise (exercise DVD's) also. Right now I have flu, and haven't been doing them, and I feel much more "on edge"

  WF :-)

Posted 10/28/2009 1:42 PM (GMT 0)
LaurelB, I can feel for you. I went through much of the same type of things.

Just a couple of suggestions. Try to avoid drinking coffee or other caffeinated drinks. Avoid chocolate, which is really hard for some of us. And try deep breathing exercises. Recognize that whatever you are doing, is what you should be doing and don't worry about what you aren't doing. You'll get around to the other stuff later.

You have probably heard this before, but I thought it would be good to say, just in case. Some doctors are really busy and don't always tell you everything they should.
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