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Posted 11/3/2009 4:58 AM (GMT 0)

Hi, this is my first post in this forum. I am 25 years old and I see a therapist for depression and anxiety disorder (no meds). These past couple of months I have been feeling better, managing my stress, getting active, meditating, eating well, etc.. Well today my anxiety came back, bad. It was triggered by a health concern. I have panic attacks about physical health and I am scared to death of doctors and hospitals. I even skipped my last two physicals and I feel so ashamed  cry  I suspect something is wrong now, and I am noticing (maybe imagining) all these pains in my body. I am doing my breathing exercises but I can't shake off this feeling, and I am losing my mind. Can anyone relate? I can't admit this to my family and friends, so it helps to talk about it here. Thanks for reading. Olivia

Posted 11/3/2009 5:19 AM (GMT 0)
hi oliv33,
I can definitely relate to the way you are feeling. I'm 18 and have very similar problems to yours. I constantly worry that there is something wrong with me. I always think I'm sick with something or going crazy. The best thing is that you have been to the therapist. You're definitely not going crazy! I also know how hard it is to admit to friends and family. I've gotten to the point to where I ended up having to tell my mom and some friends. My boyfriend and his mom have known since the beggining though so I have had people supporting me the whole time. My mom thinks it will subside with time so I haven't gotten to see a doctor but I am in contact with a few psychologists and right now trying to set up appointments. I often feel like I'm losing my mind or going crazy, but the fact that you can identify that you are feeling odd probably proves that you're not going crazy lol. I honestly don't know much advice for the situation since I haven't yet been to a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist but you seem like you are taking the right steps into healing! I just figured I would reply to let you know that you definitely are not alone. I hope you get alot of positive responses and welcome to HW and to the anxiety/panic disorders forum! I can tell you right now that I have gotten so much help through the moderators of this site and the members as well. They are all fantastic and offer up great advice! There's also alot of great helpful links listed in the resources that have helped me greatly!

Good luck!

Lots of love
Posted 11/3/2009 2:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Olive,

And welcome to Healingwell. I know you state you have fear of doctors, but maybe its time to go get that check up just to reassure yourself that nothing is really wrong with you. Your mind can play lots of games on you, why not go to the doctor and just make sure nothing is wrong, or if there is, then get the treatment you need. Good luck!

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Posted 11/3/2009 10:06 PM (GMT 0)
Many people, me included, have a fear of going to the doctor for fear they will hear bad news. I decided one day that I was going even if I found out I was going to die. Its very liberating to go in spite of your fear and almost always its nothing anyway. then you really feel better. I look at it this way. Im going to be anxious whether I go or not so I just go. I started a mild sedative and it has changed my life. I go go go all the time now because I feel so good emotionally. First off your not going to die anytime soon and if you are, whether you go to the doctor or not isnt going to change things so go and find out your not then move on with your life.
Posted 11/3/2009 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Oliv33, I am new here but can relate to what you are going through. I have been suffering from anxiety since I was about 24 years old ( I am 37 now). I starting going to therapy when I was 25 and it started to help me so much. I started being able to leave the house again and eventually went back to college for nursing. I was doing so good for almost 6 years and BAM, it has started back up in full forse because I found out I had crohns disease. I am also so scared of the doctors and the hospitals and medications. I do think that if you have a health concern that you do need to see a doctor so you can stop worrying about the "whut if's". Anxiety and panic can make you feel like something is wrong with you physically when there is nothing truly wrong. Also talk to your therapist about what you are feeling.
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