It Starts Now

Alright well we all have to get to a point where we begin to get fed up.  Where is complaining and worrying going to get me?  Seems like it only keeps getting me deeper and deeper into this hole.  Stand up and fight, smack anxiety right in the mouth.  Just came back from my therapist visit and talked about how I need to correct some of the thoughts and feelings I have, things I should start doing to combat this anxiety.  There is only ONE thing I am worrying about at the moment though lol  He upped my cymbalta to 120mg and put me on some antianxiety drug called Ativan.  Never heard of Ativan but Im just a lil skeptical that the two of the combined plus the ambien at nighttime is going to make me totally comatosed.  But it's time to stop watching myself and analyzing every little darn thing I do, that's what got me to this point.  Just go out and live and stop watching myself, easier said then done but gonna give it a shot.

I agree it also took for me to get angry and fed up to start seeing things differently and to begin on the road to getting well. Its gonna be a long journey but as long as it ends in me winning the battle over anxiety, I'm up for the trip.

That doesn't work for me. My approach now is to give in to the anxiety and let it try to take over and tell myself that I just don't care what it does to my body. As I'm in a situation where the anxiety is about to come I don't get mad and "fight it" (I've tried that but it always got me more worked up), I instead relax into it even more. The more the panic feeling wants to come over me the more I give in and say "take me I just don't care anymore"...I stay calm and cool. You see, if you fight it you're allowing it to exist, giving it credibility as though it is really something that can hurt you...if you give in, you tell yourself that it's a made up thing that can't really do anything to you.

Here's my analogy. My kids wonder why I don't get scared at haunted houses. It's because I know nothing bad will happen so I just walk through very calm and let things jump out at me or whatever. My wife, on the other hand, gets herself worked up and "fights" whatever is lurking behind the shadows. When something jumps out at her she screams because she is giving it credibility to possibly do her harm. The bad part about this is that I no longer get scared and thus don't really enjoy them; it's annoying loud noises and flashing lights to me. Sometimes I just compliment the actors and say, "nice costume, you got her good on that one."

If you walk through a dark street at night and don't care what happens to you you're not afraid (I don't do that but am making a point).

So I tell myself that the anxiety can't hurt me (I'm not going to die or have a heart attack or anything) and say to the anxiety "bring it on, I'm so over you!"