Posted 1/5/2010 4:42 AM (GMT 0)
Hello. I am new to this site and to anxiety in general. I had my first panic episodes about two months ago. I was sitting in a college class, hyped up on coffee and completely overwhelmed by all the work I had to do, and I suddenly felt tingly on the back of my head, sweaty, chest tightening up, and vision narrowing. I almost ran out of the classroom, but managed to calm myself down. I went home, but I didn't understand what had just happened to me and thought that I was going completely crazy. My boyfriend didn't really understand, or didn't think the situation was as grave as it actually was.
The next day, I was so worried about going crazy, or that I would begin to panic again, that I worked myself into another near panic attack at work. Again, I talked myself down and made it through the day.
I thought that I should call my family doctor at the time, but didn't really have time or money to deal with it, so I just pushed what had happened out of my mind and tried to go back to normal.
Now, for the last week or so, the panic has returned seemingly without any cause. I was sitting in class last week and suddenly felt anxious, as though something bad was about to happen to me. I got very hot, felt that I might need to leave the room, my stomach hurt, and I again thought I was going crazy.
Ever since that day last week, my brain has been almost constantly anxious. My main fear is that I am going to go crazy. I know, from reading countless other websites and blogs that this is a really common symptom of anxiety disorders, and that if I was actually going crazy, I wouldn't be worried about going crazy because I wouldn't realize that anything was wrong with me, but I have been fixated on the idea that I am going crazy for so long that I can't get the thought out of my head. I don't know what to do. I am going to the doctor on Friday and really, really hope they will be able to help me. This is the most horrible thing I've ever experienced in my life. The sense of hopelessness, loss of control, and sheer terror is just overwhelming for me. I am trying to work on letting the thoughts wash through me, rather than fixating on them, but it is really hard. I am a control freak and the idea that I can't control the way I feel is so hard to get used to!
Anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am feeling a little lonely right now and could use the help.