Introduction

Firstly, let me introduce myself as a new member to the forums.

I'm a 28 year old male living in British Columbia Canada and have been suffering from panic attacks for about 10-12 years. Unfortunately, they have become exponentially more frequent the last few months and their severity is petrifying.

For me, it all circles around my heart. My father had drug addiction issues (prescription based) and eventually died of a very sudden heart attack at the age of 50. Since he's passed, my panic attacks had at least quintupled up to the last 10 months or so when they have skyrocketed to the point that I am now having them every day and have been needing to use my sublingual ativan much much more than I used to.

My heart will beat very hard and fast and easily reach 160bpm and then i really start to lose control. My worst bouts are when I hit 200bpm ( I have a heart rate monitor in my watch) and my vision goes blurry. This is when the paramedics need to assist.

I shouldn't exaggerate it too much, the above certainly happens, but I start to panic even if my heart is at 80bpm...it's more of the feeling of a pounding chest and the 'what if' it gets faster that really scares me.

I am here to seek resources and support.

I have been laid off since July, and am too scared to search for work diligently. This is severely affecting my relationship with my girlfriend as my EI benefits will dry up in 4-5 months. I tried going to a group meeting setting for those with panic disorder and I've given myself excuses to not go back after the first meeting which I found to be minimally helpful, but overall it was a step in the right direction.

I am currently on a wait list for 1 on 1 counselling with a free service in my area.

I also have been looking into "The Linden Method" and "Panic Away" but have to be wary with where I spend my money.

Currently, as mentioned I take Sublingual ativan for my attacks; however I'm worried about becoming addicted as my father was with xanax. I already have made myself a relative hermit in the past months, being much too scared to socialize not to mention the fear of being asked why I still don't have a job after working for 10 years straight. I used to have social drinks with friends, now I must avoid alcohol at all costs as it seems the next day I will have incredible attacks even after only 3 or 4 drinks the night before. This change has been in the last 5-6 weeks, or after I quit smoking on December 2nd.

Yes, that was a very stressful event. I had such severe toothaches that I just 'forgot' to smoke and eventually just gave it up, even after the dental issue was fixed.


I think that's enough to chew on for a first post. :)

Thanks for reading.

Anyone with insight into these two above methods and their efficacy for yourself would be helpful as well as anything else that can lead me on to a path of recovery.

Thank you for the warm welcome :)

Thank you for your reply LT!!! I agree, all of what you said is exactly 100% true.

I will have to look into the 'belly breathing' as honestly, the only thing i seem to be able to do during an attack is to breathe in through my nose...hold...then slowly out through my mouth and repeat...'circular' breathing I think it is called.

Regardless, today I was at a hockey game that I'd been looking forward to FOREVER. Well, since September when the schedule was released.

It was Vancouver vs. My Calgary Flames. I live in Vancouver, but am a life-long diehard flames fan. I went with my brother as he got 3rd row tickets for us for my xmas gift.

I was doing okay up to the end of the second when I needed to go to the washroom. Well there are about 150 stairs from my seats to the concourse which elevated my heart somewhat which was already going too fast for me anyway.

I go to the washroom, then locked myself in a stall to try and calm down. When I'm around 115bpm or under I seem to be able to calm down normally and be okay. But I was over the 140bpm barrier and was having a severe attack (mind you I'm on 3mg of ativan at this point over the course of a few hours...3 x 1mg spread out since 3pm today). This was the first time it's ever gone over that 140 barrier when I have been on any medication. My eyes started to go, I get blurred vision and it wasn't just the speed of my heart but how hard it was beating it was deafening in my ears.


Low and behold I had missed 14 minutes of the 20 minute 3rd period...finally got ahold of myself ( i was in the washroom for a good 30 minutes freaking out) and convinced myself that having a 'heart attack' or fainting in the washroom will do me no good anyway. So I went to my seat and tried my best to enjoy the rest of the game.

Which I achieved, Calgary won 3-2 in a Shootout. It was really exciting. Almost too much so.

That was my day, I was so petrified to go to this game i'd been looking to forever, but went, enjoyed it, had a really bad attack, but LIVED. :)

Just wanted to welcome you. You are certainly not alone. This is a great place to come and find support and comfort.

Blessings to you....kitkat