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Posted 1/9/2010 5:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone I do not knowhow this works, but I know I need someone to talk to.  I feel like I am losing my mind.  I am a mother and wife a teacher.  My life is good in fact it is great, but I am suffering from the worst case of panic I have ever had.  I had a troubled adolescene, feelings of inadequacy and thoughs of death but really nothing debilitating.  It left and I didnt have any problems until my daughter (2nd child) was born.  I suffered severe post partum and went on medication and therapy. However insurance doesnt pay for therapy and only had 4 sessions.  During that time I was diagnosed with depression, OCD, and an anxiety disorder.  After my 3rd child was born, I was put on meds immediately due to my history.  When my prescription ran out, about 1 year ago, I did not renew and felt fine.  My OCD manifested itself in small self destructive ways, picking at my arms, but relatively manageable.  Until 3 days ago.  I am consumed with thoughts of my own death.  Its as if I can feel the life in my body seeping out of me minute by minute.  I can not block the thoughts.  In fact, for the past 3 nights I have awoke in the middle of the night to panic attacks.  I am so tired, but terrified at the thought of going to bed. I feel like I am going crazy. I feel like I am being betrayed by my own mind.  A  friend of mine said she felt like she was drowning, but I feel more like I am caught up in a tidal wave and just when I am thrown onto the beach and catch a breath I am dragged back out--repeated over and over again.
Posted 1/9/2010 5:59 AM (GMT 0)
i AM so sorry you are dealing with this too..i know it causes my a/p to go thru the roof i literally am watching tv on here or just laying at night til i cannot keep eyes open..i hv a really bad fear of death and i hv no idea why as i know it will not be something i am aware of ya know..i had a real bad scare a few mths back n landed in hospital on life support my teen daughter came home and found me in a seizure since then i am even more panicky and i lost my hearing at same time..there are so many here that can and will relate to you hun so keep posting and know you are not alone in this..huggles..lyn
Posted 1/9/2010 6:00 AM (GMT 0)
perhaps you can see a doc for meds at least til you find ways of coping dealing with all of this..just a thought..huggles..lyn...there is a free online therapy which ppl here do including me..MoodGyms ,com
Posted 1/9/2010 1:22 PM (GMT 0)
 

  Welcome to Healing Well. Living with anxiety is horrible. What your feeling is classic anxiety. Been there :) Im currently on meds and feel great. Thank God for meds :) You need to get back to a doctor and start a program of meds and therapy. You cannot live like this. We are here for you. Good Luck

Peace,

Sunshine

Posted 1/9/2010 4:16 PM (GMT 0)
Free CBT Online/MoodGYM

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome


This is the link to the CBT thread Lyn mentioned.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Posted 1/11/2010 5:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Roxiereed! I am also new to this forum, but have found great peace knowing there are tons of others suffering with the same anxiety and feelings. It really does make you feel better.....YOU ARE NOT ALONE. These are def just thoughts playing tricks on you and when you have anxiety disorder we obsess over and over and that part of our mind loves that it is winning. Have you talked with your Doctor about changing meds? Best of luck to you. Please let us know how you are doing. ~Blessings~
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