Need Advice

So I'm new to these forums I've been reading through them the last couple days and generally liked the responses i saw from here and finally decided to join and share my problems with you in hopes i can find some peace till i see my doctor on wednesday. So here it goes.

I dropped out of school 6-7 years ago with no worries thinking i will get my G.E.D. and i will still get school done and get a job the usual life stuff, around this time i was riding dirt bikes in the mountains going boating spending time with friends no problems whatsoever, then a friend introduced me to a computer game called World of Warcraft I'm pretty sure this all started when i found this addictive little game and during this time my brothers were working their butts off and i was tasked with watching my brothers kids living with my mom while they saved up money for their family after 5 years of this game and watching 3 kids i still haven't done anything with my life still no G.E.D. never finished my drivers license haven't gotten a job bad stuff i know.

The first time i really tried to get in shape and start doing stuff was about 2 years ago i started to get ready for my drivers license test studied and felt ready to take the test but when it came to the moment i was terrified felt sick and was about to vomit needless to say i canceled the test and felt maybe i just need to get in shape (me being about 50lbs overweight) and started working out for about a month running and jogging lifting weights and got to a point where i felt ready again but when the day came along again to go and take my test i started to have another episode and couldn't do it again, well after this i was really really down on myself and just didn't want to deal with it thinking everything will be ok aslong as i keep a good attitude about it and maybe i will get over this wall.

A year ago my dad ended up going to the ER for pain in his lungs and since he was a smoker for 20 years they had an idea that it may be lung cancer $20.000 later of tests and doctor visits they said that he has small tumors on his lungs 2 of em on the right lung and started into chemo, during this time I really started to freak out about loosing a parent a week later he showed awesome improvements the tumors were almost gone and they started to think that it wasn't lung cancer and he ended up making a full recovery (never really found out what was wrong) but i never really did recover mentally from this and the panic attacks started a little more and i really started to stay home and just be terrified to go out with friends and start a normal life cause i was constantly fearing the little things.

Now about a month ago my mom had a friend invite her to Las Vegas for a 4 day vacation down there and i was once again tasked with staying home and watching my brothers kids again i felt fine leading up to the day that my moms flight left and i really started to lose it thinking thoughts like is she gonna be ok on her flight? is she gonna be ok down there or is she gonna be attacked by somebody on the street and mugged and 4 days of these thoughts really wore on my mind, i mean i was bad every thought was worst case scenario for 4 days and this is when i became the worst i have ever been because i finally realized holy crap i don't wanna be alone the rest of my life if my parents do pass away and no job no schooling wouldn't be the best situation for me and i realized this now.

After i realized that i was worried about being alone and knew i needed to change my life around and start driving to practice for my drivers license (no i still haven't passed the dang test) getting exercise making new friends and start figuring out what i wanna do with my life (I'm only 27 and i know that is young still) but i get so terrified about change and leaving the house that i get sick to my stomach and start worrying about everything little that i shouldn't worry about, now about this time i found this website and started looking around and saw posts about GAD and started wondering if i have this going on or if its just all in my head and i will get over it or what.

Some of the things i have going on with me is that for no reason at all i feel sick to my stomach and cant get the motivation to start my exercise or for no no reason i am terrified and I'm even sitting at home again on my computer.
I recently tried going to places again and before i even get in a friends car i feel sick to my stomach and am nervous. 2 days ago after reading on this site about some self help stuff i figured it was time to try and just toughen up and went to our local Wal-Mart with my mom, at first i was scared but i just tried to remember things from here and all the motivation and it sorta subsided, then when we got into Wal-Mart and it was kind of crowded i started to sweat and felt a bit dizzy with a feeling of vomit coming.

I guess I'm looking for any advice of how to beat this feeling cause i really want to get my life going but this has really been getting to me and i thought after all the breathing styles i could just beat this but its now been a week and a 1/2 and i still feel the panic feeling (the breathing helps) but the attacks still come back after and I'm clueless as what to do till my doctor's appointment Wed. sorry if this post was long and i really appreciate you taking the time to read this but i really need a place to vent as my family has been very very busy the last couple weeks. Thank you very much

Thank you for taking the time to read my story i just wish i could find an actual answer for whats going on in my head all the info i read up on points to GAD and i find some peace in knowing Ive got something wrong with me and I'm not just going insane but it also scares me knowing its gonna be a long process to recover considering it took me 7 years to get this mindset will it take me 7 years to get out? It's been 5-6 years since i have seen a doctor and if he actually thinks i need meds should i take em or just try to tough it out? have they done more harm than good for people? These are all questions that race in my mind when i have an attack or even try to think about getting better.

Irish,
I totally understand what ur saying. I got like that over the summer. Constantly thinking about life, death, being alone, etc. It was like I was scared daily. I actually stayed at my moms for three weeks because of the anxiety and feeling alone. I wasnt eating or sleeping. Went for all kinds of stomach tests because of my constant nausea.
It was a nightmare. I had to try meds because living like that was horrible. Being anti-meds it was a hard thing to do, but I was at a point that I didnt care about the stigma. Being on meds I feel much better. I still have my moments when I "think about things", and still not sleeping great. But that anxious feeling is seldom, stomach is better, and Im eating normally. I was also talking to a therapist one a week. Now I see her every 3 weeks. You need to be pro-active and fix this asap. It really stinks...I know.
Strength,
Sunshine

irish83


Good Morning and welcome to HealingWell.



Thank you for sharing your story and please know you made a wise decision in reaching out for help here in the A & P Forum.



It feels to me like you have anticipatory anxiety as this is exactly what I experience.

Anticipatory anxiety is where a person experiences increased levels of anxiety by thinking about an event or situation in the future. The worries you experience specifically focus on what you think might happen, often with catastrophic predictions about the event.

To begin treating anticipatory anxiety, we must be able to admit that we cannot predict the future. Any scenario we are able to imagine is nothing more than speculation and fabrication.

Picturing positive outcomes can significantly reduce apprehension, which can lead to increased levels of confidence and an overall elevation in mood.

When you find yourself wondering, "What if..." Stop! Take a deep breath; breathe in through the nose, hold the air in your lungs for a count of four, then slowly let the air out through the mouth. While you are doing this, consider the possibility that you are being unrealistic and irrational. Focus on positive or neutral outcomes.

I hope this helps you to stop the anxiety in it's tracks and that you will recieve some good advice and a treatment plan when you see your physician.

Take care,

Kitt

Hi Irish and welcome to Healingwell. I would suggest you get in an see a therapist. I found that it really helped to understand what was really going on. I now take Xanax on occasion (1-3 times a month) and that helps me get past the anticipatory anxiety that likes to hit me. Look forward to hearing more from you. Hugs!