Posted 4/4/2010 11:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hi guys
I'm so glad I've come across this website and forum as I feel I'm losing my mind with Anxiety. I'm a 32 year old guy who has struggled on and off (mainly on) with stress & anxiety for years. Recently it's become worse than its ever been and has now completely taken over my life.
This all sounds kinda embarassing but i dont care im gonna tell you anyway! A few weeks ago I started getting this strange feeling just inside my anus, like there was something there. My anxiety immediately went into complete overdrive - I felt sick, nervous and had this horrible feeling of dread. I suffered like this for a week before my doctors appointment. He examined me and told me I had a simple hemorrhoid. The relief was instant, but the following day my stomach and bowel started playing up - bloated feeling, wind, stomach churning, churning sensations on and off in my gut and bottom, muscle tension. I've had small bouts of diarrhea too. And I lost my appetite for a couple of days although my appetite has since returned.
Anyway, me being me, I rushed back to see another doctor about my stomach/gut symptoms in yet another blind panic. He told me theres nothing seriously wrong with me, and its all Anxiety related. He has referred me for counselling. But heres the thing - he told me about other symptoms that would indicate something serious - and now im obsessing about these symptoms and convincing myself I have them even though I dont. He told me about them to reassure me I dont have anything serious but its had the opposite effect.
I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind here. I'm panicking I'm dying of something and the doctors wont believe me. I'm standing on the scales twice a day terrified im losing weight (I have actually lost a bit of weight but ive not been eating as much as i usually do). I look in the mirror constantly and think I look terrible even though others tell me I look perfectly well. The only relief I get is when I'm asleep. But as soon as I wake up in the morning I get this wave of dread rush over me, and the symptoms start up again.
I'm just thinking about my health constantly. It's like a vicious circle - I panic about my health which makes the anxiety worse which then gives me the symptoms.
Can anyone help me? I just need to know I'm not alone in this. I can't stop thinking I'm dying or have something seriously wrong with me. I try to breathe easily, have relaxing hot baths but my brain wont let me stop worrying. I just dont know what to do.
Thanks for reading, and for any advice you give.
Chris