Anxiety about Working

 

   I suffer from Meniere's Disease ( an inner ear disorder that causes sudden, severe vertigo), and developed anxiety disorder due to the unpredictable nature of this disease. However, now I am anxious/depressed almost all the time. I have been on every antidepressant out there and am now only taking Wellbutrin. Now every morning when I wake up for work I feel like I can't breathe. I have a good job working for a group of surgeons but it takes everything in me to get in my car and drive to work.... It has been this way for every job I have had. I have a bachelors degree in business administration and am a hardworker, I just worry all day about every little thing. I am constantly tired and feel as if I am a fog 24/7. I promise I am not a lazy bum who just doesn;t want to work. My husband says I just have to suck it up and go, but I am so very unhappy. Has anyone else ever been through this? Thank you for your time.

BrownEyedGirl85

Meniere's Disease- endolymphatic shunt 2003

Total colectomy 2010

Your husband doesn't sound very encouraging! People like that make me sooooooooo upset! Let them live one day in our shoes and let them get a taste of this bitter pill! There have been grown men who have been brought to their knees by anxiety and/or depression. Some people have been so extremely distraught that they saw no way out except to commit suicide. So when someone says "suck it up", it really really really gets me!!
I am unable to work due to anxiety. I am not pleased with it, but that's the way it is and so I accept it. I am on disability. I went before a law judge to get it and they don't concur easily. Thank God that the man saw that I was in real distress!
Are you getting any sort of therapy? Do you see a psychiatrist or a regular doctor for your anxiety and depression? I hope it is the former. Maybe you could see about getting social security or such. I dunno, but still, at least talk to your doctor(s) about the possibility. I know some people are too "proud" to go to a shrink or get on disability, but anxiety and depression are real illnesses just like diabetes or cancer. If you think this could be a route you might want to take, look into the possibility. If you can't or won't, then please get into therapy if you aren't already. Perhaps your doc could give you something to help you with the anxiety. Wellbutrin can actually increase anxiety in some people.
Since I don't know too much about you, I know I've been all over the place with my words here...please keep posting! Peeps here really are kind!
jl

Amen NightOwl.... I've been to two and I don't think either one of the really understood what I was going through.

Most people tell me things such as "just do it" as far as feeling better or getting through it and no matter how many times they're told that their level of anxiety may not be as strong as mine they keep believing that I feel the same thing they have felt and got through.

If you mean romantic feelings toward the therapist, I've thought one of mine was hot before. lol

Was that first part to me or the person who posted above me? Because I haven't mentioned feelings for a therapist in another topic that I recall. I was attracted to one though, but didn't obsess or anything. Most of my therapists have been beyond weird personality-wise though! That's one bad thing about people with mental issues majoring in psychology and then becomign therapists. It's good they know what it feels like, but then they're really weird as they still have their own issues.

Anyway you've gone through a lot. I get upset over small issues so I'm worried how I would handle any of those bigger things.

I don't have much to say in the way of help, or how to fix it, but I do understand how you are feeling. I have felt much the same way about many jobs I've had in the past. I've worked in retail for a while and the public gets to me eventually. People get on my nerves and I can't seem to let it roll off me so it gets to the point that I can't deal with it any more and even if I can bring myself to go to work I'm just a mess when I'm there so I usually end up quitting. I often feel immensely better after doing so, but it has been to the detriment of my wallet! I have been to therapists/psychiatrists off and on wherever I've lived because I've moved around so much, and they have definitely helped, so I concur with people above that a good psych/counsellor is a must. I still worry about work - I'm an unemployed student and need to find a job soon, but I worry about how I'm going to get through the interview let alone get the job let alone go to the job and not meltdown. But I guess it's one foot in front of the other. It is frustrating indeed when people say "just do it" or "suck it up." It might work for people who don't have anxiety or depression, or other illnesses that make day to day living hard and more stressful, but it doesn't work that way for the rest of us. If we could just suck it up, wouldn't we do so? I mean, gee, I guess I never thought of that!! :P

So I think you should be kind to yourself because you can't suck it up, instead of hard on yourself. People don't understand when they haven't been in our shoes or really known and understood someone who was. It's not really their fault, they just have more to learn. And you can't be anyone other than who you are right now, while working on the process of becoming well, so be kind to yourself.

As for your job, I think keep going as long as you can, since you seem to like it and value it. If there IS something about it that is causing you to feel like you don't want to go or something you don't want to deal with there, maybe you can work that out through therapy? Maybe you can ask for a stress leave or a temporary absence? I'm also not sure if you've tried ativan but it might help to keep you in control in the mornings when you feel most anxious. Ativan doesn't work for me, it just makes me sleepy with the same anxiety, but it does work for a lot of people. I wish you all the best and keep us posted.

Will do, Miss Brown-Eyed Girl...

I wish I could give you advice about how to combat feelings that you never do or say anything right... But I have difficulty grappling with that issue myself... Try to keep positive... is all I can say... I hope your day at work goes well...