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New here! Is it time to see a doctor about my anxiety?

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Posted 5/10/2010 2:35 AM (GMT 0)
Let's look over some possible scenarios regarding your future:

1. You do not ever go to the doctor and get better on your own. This is not likely to happen because anxiety disorder is considered to be a progressive disorder (it gets worse over time without treatment).

2. You do not ever go to the doctor and you never get better. Your quality of life suffers greatly as a result. I don't think you want to do that to yourself.

3. You do not go to the doctor tomorrow, but eventually do. This is risky, because like I said, anxiety is a progressive disorder and the worse it gets, the harder it is to treat, obviously. Better than never going, for sure.

4. You do go to the doctor, but you have a bad appointment. Not the end of the world. At least YOU were proactive and took a step toward getting better. There are other doctors to see. I really don't think this scenario is likely, though. I have been on four different insurance plans and have seen five different doctors since my anxiety diagnosis and they all seemed to be reasonable people. Has it been luck for me? With five different physicians, I doubt it.

5. You do go to the doctor and you have a good appointment. In this case you learn a little about the disorder and begin treatment. The most likely scenario, provided you make it there to begin with.


I understand your trepidation but you have to take that first step. Don't make it out to be more than it is. Like CSMC said, do not let the anxiety win. All you're doing is going to the doctor to talk with him or her about a problem that literally millions of Americans have. Chances are they've seen this more than a few times. You have to believe me: you ARE going to be okay. But you do have to retake control of your life. Everything is going to be fine.
Posted 5/10/2010 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
VERY well stated n please please let us know how you make out today

im going to my doc tomorrow as i am becoming agoraphobic more each day n cutting self off from all i did n those i know
i wont let this anxiety take anymore of my life i mad as hades n i want me back
i hope all works out today for you
take that step...
we r with you in spirit
lyn
Posted 5/10/2010 6:24 PM (GMT 0)

I did it!  I actually kept my word and went to the doctor today!  Anxiety isn't the only reason I went as I've been having my throat and ears bothering me for several weeks which is what we talked about for the first part of the appointment.  I have a sinus infection, throat irritation, and inflammation and fluid in my ears as well.  This has been bothering me for awhile but like I said, I'm scared of going to doctors.  Plus, everyone around me now think I'm a hypochondriac which makes me question my symptoms even though I felt terrible.  I was getting ear pain just trying to chew food, not good. 

Anyway, after we discussed the ear and throat issues, I reluctantly and with hesitation brought up the anxiety issues.  In my mind he was just going to roll his eyes and tell me to get over it.  Ridiculous, I know.  Wow, was I ever wrong about how that would go.  I always think the worst case scenario and never consider the possibility of things going well.  My doctor was so supportive and understanding, which was a huge relief.  He spent time talking to me and letting me know that anxiety is common and that he is sure I can overcome it.  He was absolutely great and seemed to really care.  He referred me to a professional counselor and they are supposed to give me a call to set up an appointment.  He also prescribed Zoloft but said it was a low dosage, 25 mg, to take once a day.  Right after I left the doctors office, I felt good about possibly taking the first step to taking control of my life.  That faded after a couple hours and now I'm nervous and freaking out again.  Maybe it's because I don't feel well, or just being stressed out from this morning but now I'm thinking what have I gotten myself into?  I'm worried about what's to come with talking with the counselor.  That is going to be so awkward.  What if I'm not really ready to make changes in my life?  I'm sure she's not there just to listen to me whine but to help me work through issues.  What if I can't though?  Maybe I'm not willing to, I don't know!

debaser - You were right, number 5 is what actually happened!  Scenario number 4 was what my money was on last night.  Thanks for your post, it really helped me put things into perspective last night.  If it weren't for you, howlyncat, and csmc3 I probably would've totally freaked and not went today.  Thanks!

csmc3, my anxiety twin! - You have no idea how much your post helped me last night.  It totally had me laughing but also really did reinforce the fact that I needed to go.  While I'm still not feeling great, like I thought I would after going today, I'm sure I made the right decision to go.  Thank goodness my doctor actually called the counselors office, they are supposed to call me, cause I probably couldn't have called myself.  Now I'm paranoid when my phone rings though, haha.  I do want to have a future as well.  Looks like both of us are now on a path where we can make that possible.  It was very difficult for me to sleep last night as I woke up several times.  The doctor I go to is no appoinments necessary.  He is my primary care physician though.  His office opened at 7 this morning and I was there at 7:20.  Didn't want to wait any longer caused it would give me more time to contemplate not going.  Thank you, anxiety twin, for all your support.  I'm sure I'll be talking to you some more on here.  Best of luck to you!

Maybe one day I'll be able to offer support and advice, to people in similar situations to mine, like you all have done for me.  Right now this is all new to me and I'm not completely sure what I think or feel.  I'm sure I'll have many more questions to ask and be needing advice especially when it comes to talking to the counselor.  Again, thank you all so much!  Have a great day!

Posted 5/10/2010 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
I'm really glad you went. You already seem like you're thinking more positively. Did you get antibiotics for the sinuses? Once those clear up some of your anxiety will go away. If you have anxiety and have an illness, they tend to combine forces to make things quite a bit harder. At least that's my experience.

Look forward to getting better.

Do keep in mind, though, that you're going to have to do the heavy lifting. It's up to you to change your thought patterns and that will come with time and effort. The payoff is big. Be an active participant in your counseling, and if the Zoloft doesn't work do not be afraid to try a new med. This is something you'll have to sort of wade through for a while until you hit a stride.

The first step is the hardest and you took it. That's something to be proud of. Don't look back now.
Posted 5/10/2010 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, I got a Z-Pak and Nasonex. You know I've really forgotten what it feels like to feel good. That's why my anxiety has been so high for the past few months cause I'm wondering if I'm ever going to be healthy again. Still I keep thinking there is something more serious going on even though I know that's probably not the case. It's been nine months of heck so far. I've seriously been to doctors more times in the last 7 months than I had in my entire life. Doesn't seem like it's helping at all though. Gosh I hope the Zoloft can at least keep me from obsessing about this 24/7.

Hope I'm not too stubborn or weak to make the necessagry changes. It's taken me years to get to this point and I know it's not going to happen overnight. I guess it's going to be hard work but nothing worth having in life comes easily, right?
Posted 5/10/2010 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
I hope that you realize how big of a step you have just taken. You are now beginning your journey to feeling well. You are an inspiration to us all with what you have just accomplished. Try not to obsess about it and just take this one day at a time. Know that we are all behind you and are all very proud of you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/10/2010 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
<a target="_blank" href="/community/profile.aspx?f=9&m=1788407&p=100057">NeedingAnswers</A>


I am very proud of you for going to the Doctors. You are not stubborn or weak. You do have a nasty infection going on and that is bound to affect how you are feeling physically. Remember the mind and body are all connected. When I am not feeling well physically I feel anxious and unsure of myself too.



Remember to stop the "what if" thinking if you can and look forward to seeing a therapist. I think you will find the therapist will be just as kind and understanding as your physician was.



You are doing good things here.



Gentle hugs,



Kitt
Posted 5/10/2010 11:09 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks, Karen and Kitt.  I can't believe I actually went.  I must have been out of my mind from the sinus infection or something, haha!  Ususally I run and hide when faced with tough choices.  That's why I really have nothing to show for the past 10 years of my life, that's the way I feel anyway.  I guess I am where I am so no use in second guessing.  It's hard not to sometimes though.  Talking to my doctor today was much easier than I anticipated.  Hopefully speaking to the counselor won't be too bad either.  I guess I'm ready for it.  I've made more progress in the last couple weeks than I had in the last few years.  Actually admitting to myself, and the people on here, how I really feel about where my life is currently was a big step as well. 

At least I have you all to talk to because today made me further realize that some of my "friends" maybe aren't really friends.  I mean when I told one of them today about going to the doctor and that I was going to be speaking to a counselor.  She said she doesn't see how talking to someone would ever help and she thinks it's a waste of time.  That hurt my feelings a lot as it was a stressful morning.  I'm not one to ask for help but that's what I was doing at the doctor today.  For someone to imply that I went through that for nothing upset me.  How's that for a friend?  You know what, maybe if she would've talked to someone she wouldn't have stayed married to an alcoholic that eventually drank himself to death.  He was verbally abusive to her and she never even defended herself.  She lets people walk all over her.  Actually she is probably going to be my step-mom in the future.  See, she is my the manager at my work and I've known her for 6 years.   Well, last June she started dating my Dad.  How awkward is that?  I mean I've worked with her for years and consider her to be a friend, most of the time, but to come home from work and her be there is weird for some reason.  She has really been getting on my nerves recently, and now the comment today, but can I even vent about it to my Dad, who I live with...no, beacause that is his girlfriend.  Why this bothers me I have no clue!


Posted 5/11/2010 3:23 AM (GMT 0)
csmc3 - I would very much like to get married and have kids one day.  I guess we are twins!  Although I set stupid time limits on things and told myself several years ago that if I didn't have kids by 30, I wasn't going to have any at all.  Now that's 4 years away and I've never even been on a date.  It's pretty much impossible for me to talk to a guy around my age that I find attractive without making a fool of myself.  It's just hard for me to talk to anyone my age at all.  That's why I work in a freaking antique mall where most of the customers and vendors are in there 50's and 60's.  It's not because I want to be there, it's because it's "safe."  Something that has totally been stressing me out recently is that they are hiring a new person there.  Of course, despite my begging, they are going to hire a 17 year old male.  How in the world am I going to think of conversation, during a 10 hour work day, with a 17 year old dude?  He won't start work there until the end of this month.  I'm seriously considering talking to the owner and seeing if they could at least wait a few weeks, let me get to know him, before scheduling us to work together.  It's not fair to the other people as only 3 of us work there currently.   Meeting new people causes so much anxiety for me and I don't know if I can handle this right now.  I'm sure I'm going to freak out before going to the counselor.  Gosh I just wanted them to call me today and set up an appointment.  Now, I work tomorrow, and I'll be thinking about them calling all day and not being able to answer the phone.  It would've been nice if that positive feeling I had, after leaving the doctors office, would've lasted a bit longer.

I'm so glad your 2nd appointment with your new therapist went well.  You seem to have a much more positive attitude after this time around.  Hopefully we are both now on the path to getting anxiety to release that strangle hold it seems to have on our lives.  You have helped me a great deal already  If you need someone to talk to you I'm here for you as well.  Maybe we can help each other through this.  Keep me updated on your progress.  Time to go try an get some sleep.  Take care!

Posted 5/12/2010 2:41 AM (GMT 0)

csmc3 - My day was alright I guess, just work as usual.  I'm still not feeling well as my ears ache and I can feel the fluid in them when I move my head.  Sorry for the details but you asked.  Haha!  How was your day?  Sounds like you are feeling good after talking to the therapist yesterday!?

No, the counselors office unfortunately didn't call yet.  It made me so anxious just waiting for my phone to ring today.  Dangit, I don't want to have to call them.  Why does everything have to be so difficult?  They should know not to make a person, who is having a ton of anxiety, wait for their phone call!  How long should I wait before calling them 1 more day, 2 days, a week?

I really, really, really, don't want to work with the 17 year old.  Working alone with him for 10 hours is going to be torture.  Also, that'll mean I'm the person in charge whenever we're scheduled together.  He won't know anything about the job yet and I'll have to answer all the questions and deal with all the vendors.  If anything happens I'm the one that will have to deal with it.  What if something major happens and I completely don't know what to do.  Unlikely, as I've worked there for 7 years...but...what if?

I can't turn my mind off from obsessing about these things.  Tried to watch a movie this evening and instead kept thinking about my health and couldn't focus at all.  I still think I have some serious illness and with not feeling well today I've again convinced myself that I'm never going to get better.   No doctor is going to help me...1) Because I do such a lousy job of explaining my symptoms because I get no nervous...2) My case is far more complex and will take more than the 5 minutes it seems that doctors are willing to spend on patients...3) They are going to chalk it all up to anxiety now that I'm taking Zoloft.  On top of all of that, I'm going to completely go bankrupt trying to find answers as to what is wrong.  I'm still paying for the gallbladder surgery which I owed $1200, now $400 for the endoscopy, and with the co-pays and prescriptions, this is getting expensive.

Maybe since the counselors office isn't going to call I can't just hire you, csmc3, to be my therapist.  You sound like an expert to me!  Hopefully you'll give me a discount on the price since I'm your twin and all.  Haha!  Sorry for this long rant.  I'm just very frustrated right now with several different things and I just wanted the counselors office to call today.  Was that too much to ask for?  Hope your day was much better than mine.  Gosh how I wish I could have a positive attitude like you seem to have.  How long did it take for you to get to that point.  Right now I'm just so irritable and every little thing is annoying me.  One of my fears is that, by the time I get all my issues sorted, out none of my friends and family will like me anymore based on how I've been acting recently.  I'm not much fun to be around.

Sorry to keep going on and on and on about myself.  Anything you want to talk about?

Posted 5/12/2010 9:32 PM (GMT 0)

How hard is it going to be to break the habit of obsessing over things when I've done it most of my life?  Still, the counselors office hasn't contacted me.  All day I was afraid to be away from my phone in case they called.  Finally, it rang, my heart was racing as I ran to the phone but no, it was just my sister calling.  I feel sorry for the lady that had to work with me today as I know I had to get on her nerves.  She even tried to call the counselors office for me but no one answered and she didn't try again.

If you are sure that the counselor will tell me to work with the 17 year old, then I'm not even going to go to her...kidding!  Haha!  One more "what if" even though you said I should leave those alone...What if I totally hate working with the new guy?  Then, what happens?

I had surgery to remove my gallbladder due to a gallstone in December.  Prior to this, I never had a health issue.  I had made it 25 years and not even had blood drawn, seriously!  Never had anything but routine illnesses so having surgery was very stressful, needless to say.  Now, 5 months later I'm still having problems.  Mainly chest discomfort, back achiness, abdominal tenderness, some burping, and a ton of hiccups.  I had an upper endoscopy a couple weeks ago which showed that I've been having acid reflux.  I thought he had something about Barrett's esophagus but I actually just have esophagitis.  The thing is the medication hasn't helped and seems to worsen my symptoms.  I don't feel like I'm having reflux but apparently I am.  The last couple days I've experienced chest discomfort, for several hours, just after drinking juice.  It's miserable.  Now, I've been having issues with my thoat and ears.  This has been going on for over a month but I wouldn't go to the doctor cause I'm afraid everyone will think I'm a hypochondriac which they are thinking.  I do a lousy job of explaining my symptoms to the doctor because I get so nervous.  I just think there is something more going on other than reflux.  Sometimes everything feels tight and achy from my chest up to my throat and my ache will ache as well.  I'm worried and I don't know exactly what to do. 

Sorry this was so long.  I'm out of time for now but I'll post more later.  Hope you have an excellent day.  Talk to you later!

Posted 5/13/2010 3:30 AM (GMT 0)
So you'll be my therapist free of charge?...Awesome!  I've got a feeling you don't yet know what a difficult job that is going to be.  Haha!  Hope that my negativity doesn't rub off on you while you are trying to help me.  The thing with you Grandma, it's sad that she reacted that way.  She'll regret the things the said, I'm sure.  It's great that you have your cousin to hang out with to get your mind off things.  I have just one friend that I really think understands me.  She gives excellent advice and just keeps my mind off of things sometime.  She is getting ready to have a baby here in a few weeks and I doubt she is going to have much time to spend with me anymore.  Doubt we are going to be going out to eat and to the movies with a baby.  She really has everything I want husband, kid on the way, college degree, and good paying job.  Right now some of those things seem impossible for me to ever achieve.

So you had weird aches and pains after having your gallbladder removed?  But that did subside eventually?  I'm not convinced that acid reflux is causing the current issues I'm having.  That is what the surgeon that removed my gallbladder thinks.  I'm telling you I get so nervous when going to the doctor I don't describe my symptoms well, don't ask questions, and half the time I don't even remember what he said afterwards.  My blood pressure and heart rate are always up.  It's so ridiculous because I want them to find out what's wrong but at the same time maybe I don't disclose all my symptoms because I'm afraid they will think something is seriously wrong and admit me to the hospital.  I know that makes absolutely no sense at all!  What I've been doing is questioning the symptoms I have to the point where I don't know if they are real or not.  I kept putting this ear/throat thing off, until it was bad, because I thought maybe I was being paranoid.

Obviously it would take more than 3 days for Zoloft to have an effect because I was worse, anxiety wise, today than I had been in a while.  Probably because I started having chest discomfort after drinking some apple juice this morning.  It lasted most of the day and my throat and back had the same type of aching going on.  It's weird and hard for me to describe.  Thank you for doing research on my medical issues and trying to help ease my mind.  I still just can't shake the feeling that I have some serious illness.  Don't know what though but I do think that.  Have you ever watched that show "Mystery Diagnosis"?  I have such a fear that I will end up like some of those people.  Doctors won't be able to figure out what's going on so they'll assume it's all in my head and I'll be living in misery until someone finally figures it out.  At least they all end up surviving but still sometimes takes years to get dianosed.

What if I never feel physically good again?  I mean I've been battling other issues for years but at least they didn't cause me physical pain.! Now combine the pain with the anxiety and it's not good at all!

You better call your doctor tomorrow and get that prescription refilled!  I hate making calls though so we definitely have that in common.  I'm going to wait a few more days then either call the counselor or have someone do it for me.  I actually had my friend at work call and schedule a doctors appointment for me.  It was ridiculous.  You know what, I even hate call restaurants to place take-out orders. Sad but true..haha!  Yes, I'm going to go to the counselor.  I guess I just want to hurry up and get the ball rolling so I don't have to keep anticipating when they are going to call, when the first appoinment will be, and how it will go.

Well, time for bed.  Thanks again for talking with me.  Goodnight!

Post Edited (NeedingAnswers) : 5/12/2010 9:38:22 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/13/2010 5:25 AM (GMT 0)
What makes you think you don't have acid reflux? An MD said you have it. I have it and your symptoms sound like mine. Apple juice...yes that's going to cause it to flare up. Anyway, acid reflux seems to be common among people with anxiety disorders, and it's definitely common among people who have had their gall bladders yanked. You should go to a gastroenterologist to confirm the diagnosis but for now trust the surgeon.

Is it always going to be a problem? Who knows. A lot is going to depend on your lifestyle. If you smoke that will make it worse. Alcohol makes it worse. Dietary fat makes it worse. Onions, tomatoes, garlic...these can make it worse. Learn to identify the foods that cause you trouble and then avoid them. If you are overweight, lose weight. That will help immensely. Acid reflux is manageable for most people. When it flares up, though, it makes you feel all kinds of bad. It's not just simple heartburn.

Anyway, Zoloft is an SSRI. An antidepressant. One of the side effects can be anxiety, though it will usually pass with time. If it does not, you can explore other options. SSRIs have helped a lot of people, but there are people who can't take them. I'm one.

Of course you're going to feel good again. Once you learn to manage these things your whole life will change for the better.
Posted 5/13/2010 6:59 AM (GMT 0)
Debaser..YOU are spot on imho
ty for some great input

needinganswers...would you plz start a new threaad on this if needed as this one is getting very long
ty in advance
lyn
Posted 5/13/2010 11:36 AM (GMT 0)

debaser - I doubt the diagnosis of reflux because no medication has helped.  I've taken Prilosec, Nexium, and Prevacid.  When I was taking Nexium just drinking water would make my chest hurt.  PPIs haven't helped at all.  In fact my symptoms seem a touch worse when on them.  On top of the I have made the dietary changes that you mentioned.  I eat none of the trigger foods and consume a diet low in fat.  Actually apple juice is on the "safe" list.  I'm only talking about drinking about 4 ounces of this when it happened.  The chest discomfort was almost immediate so I wonder if it's really reflux.  I don't smoke, haven't had a alcoholic beverage in 2 months, and no caffeine.  I'm in the process of losing weight and am 10-15 lbs from being in the normal range.  For some reason, I can't trust what the doctors say.  I experience, what feel like a bad cramp in my back, everytime I try to drink an alcoholic beverage.  Enough pain where the first time I thought I needed to go to the hospital.  It usually subsides after about 20-25 minutes.  I've had even my back and the back of my neck ache after eating.  Also I'm currently battling the throat irritation and inflammation and fluid in my ears.  I just feel like I'm falling apart!

Posted 5/13/2010 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
needinganswers, Thought you may have missed this note above.


"needinganswers...would you plz start a new threaad on this if needed as this one is getting very long
ty in advance
lyn"



Kindly,

Kitt
Posted 5/13/2010 2:31 PM (GMT 0)
ty Kitt
huggs
lyn
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