Posted 5/25/2010 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
Good luck with the job search Flames! I understand what you're feeling. I'm sorry to hear that your counseling ended, did you look into community support groups? I know around here there are many churches and synagogues that have group meetings for all sorts of topics, and some of the others here have so much personal experience dealing with the same thing, I'm sure you can always find someone to help you out.
So I went back to work on Monday, sort of. Made it to work without too much anxiety, well, that's not entirely true, I had to pull over twice, but I've had worse commutes, but when I got to work, I was informed that I was going to be stuck in a car all day with three other people. NO WAY!!!!! I totally lost my mind. Fortunately, a few weeks ago I told my boss about my panic attacks, and that they happen mostly in the car. She was very understanding, she used to have panic attacks too. After I finally calmed down, we decided I could use a little time off. She told me my job is secure, and I have plenty of vacation and sick time to use. I called my psychiatrist, and spoke to him for a while. I'm taking the lexapro again now that I don't have to worry about feeling ill at work. It still makes me a bit queasy for a while after I take it, but I'm hoping that will go away. I have my trusty Xanax ready for those really bad days, and I'm ready to put all I have into this healing process. I'm looking forward to the days ahead. I know in the next few days I'll have some real soul searching to do. I'm sure a few unpleasant things may come up, but I can't help but think it's all for the good. I'm sure this sounds very ambitious, and I know that it's going to take more then a few days, but I really think this will be a good start. I'm looking forward to a sense of normalcy again. I'm not setting my sights too high. I plan on taking baby steps the whole way. I went to the store today, not for long and not to far from home, but at least I went out. I started to feel a little uncomfortable, and returned home before it got too bad. Went out a little later and sat on the beach for a bit. To most this is no great accomplishment, but I know you guys can appreciate a good day like that.
Hope everyone feels well!