worst week ever - very upset :-(

things have been really bad again. I want to cry. I have been having bad panic and anxiety again, and i just want to vent.

I was doing so well, i had moved to London and got into the uni i wanted. But the uni was nothing like it was supposed to be - we only had one class a week (that lasted an hour) and 3 tutorials a term; some of which, my tutor just didn't turn up for. So i decided this wasn't right for me and dropped out in April. However, because i dropped out, the student loan company made me pay back close to £2000 upfront, which has competely broke me.

Just days after paying back the money last week, i was forced to take my old job back caring for people with dementia at a residential home - which i hate because the other workers there are horrible both to me, each other, and the residents! I agreed to do a 58 hour working week because i need the money so desperetly. On one of my very few spare moments i took a walk in the park with a friend - it was summery and light even though it was 9:30pm - i just needed to breathe - there was other people about - but i got mugged at knife point by 4 teenage boys! They didn't get anything, i fought my ground and managed to get away far enough from them to call the police and they ran off scared - but it really shook me up.

THEN, there was a big out break at the care home of a sickness bug, and i've ended up getting it. I have a massive vomit phobia so the last two days have been horrid for me.

The only thing is, i feel like i should be feeling better by now, but my stomach still feels very sore and tight, and i don't have much of an appertite. I'm so worried because this is what happened last time. I was under a lot of stress, then i got ill, something that should only have last a few days - but i never got better - and it turned out i'd become agoraphobic and had an anxiety break down - what if that's happened again? What if this stomach discomfort is all in my mind? It could take years to sort out again - i can't bear that.

Sorry this was so long, i just don't know what to do :-(

boxcastle,

Good Afternoon and I am sorry to hear your feeling ill. I know you have had a lot of anxiety in the past and I believe it was back in March that you were having spikes in your anxiety.

May I ask what helped you get through your anxiety back then?

Everyone gets worried sometimes, but if you have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), worries and fears are so constant that they interfere with your ability to function and relax. You may worry excessively about things that are unlikely to happen, or feel tense and anxious all day long with no real reason. This anxiety takes a physical toll, too. Your body aches, you can’t sleep, and you’re exhausted all the time. This is probably why you are not bouncing back from your sickness bug. The good news is that generalized anxiety disorder is treatable. Many things can help, including self-help strategies and therapy.

Learning to deal with your worry and anxiety in more productive ways is a good place to start. This may involve challenging irrational worrisome thoughts, learning how to postpone worrying, and learning to accept uncertainty in your life. Try not to assume that you will have a break down like you had in the past. Think positive and work through the anxiety.

Kindly,

Kitt

just knowing i had replies helped me so much, you have no idea how much this site has helped me over the past few years.

I deffinetly agree Janetlee - i have enrolled to start school here in my home town in October which means i'll be closer to my family and everything should be better with that course i think.

I think you're right that i should go and visit my doctor again and say i need more help - i am completely off meds at the moment. The only trouble is they are so quick to try and get rid of you here because of the NHS - they just say sweeping statements like "try and spend more time with your friends and forget about it" so they can get you out and get the next person in. I think your right though, i just have to stand my ground with all these things.

I am already feeling a lot better today. Thank you for your support.