I want to venture out of my comfort zone - alone !!

Good Afternoon All,

I love fall and the fall colors so I would like to drive up north 200 miles and stay on Lake Superior in a hotel by myself.  Nobody else is available to go with me.  Now 4 years ago when I was having a hard time I tried this and it was a huge failure and I had to come home after checking into the hotel.  I only went one hour away and was right on the Mississippi. 

I want to go to a lovely town with a walking path on the Lake,  a little casino down the rode and quaint shopping.  I would have my laptop to stay in touch with all of you but I am torn due to failing before. 

I would like to stay 3 nights.  If only my Doberman could go with me but not allowed at the hotel.

I am making a list of what is the worse thing that might happen and I have come up with I may have some tough moments, but I can make it through 3 days if I stay in the moment.

Encouragement, suggestions and  comments welcome.

Thanks for reading.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

My first thought as I read your post Kitt, was that four years ago was not a failure if you look at it from the perspective that you took a chance. You put yourself out there and challenged yourself. With our anxiety it's all too easy to seclude ourselves and hide from the world. You'll never make progress if you never try. But every time you take a step outwards, you're taking a step forward. Also four years is a long time ago and I'm sure you've gained a lot of skills, techniques, courage, and confidence since then.

Have you considered looking into other hotels (or even a bed and breakfast if they have them where you're going) that might allow dogs? Plenty of people travel with pets and if yours would make you even just "a little" more comfortable it might be worth looking into.

Also if the trip as a whole feels too intimidating, maybe you could build up to it. Stay in a hotel ten minutes from home to prove to yourself that you'll be OK alone in a hotel. Then take a long drive (a day trip) to prove that you can be farther from home and be OK. Research where you're going and know where any resources are that you might need. When you put the pieces together the trip might seem easier. Let us know how it goes!

Thanks for all the kind words. I have traveled a lot in the past 4 years with my daughter and family and even my husband once but he has Crohn's and hates to travel so if I want to see the fall colors up north then I have to try going on my own. 

There are hotels that allow pets but my "Memphis" is a 3 year old male Doberman weighing in at 90 pounds.  I cannot handle him on a leash without my hubby as I have severe arthritis in my right thumb and Memphis wants to pull me.  Also I would have to have a large kennel to set up in the hotel if I were to leave him alone to go shopping. 

I will be taking my computer,  cell phone and have a plan for what I want to see.  My biggest fear is getting stuck in the "what ifs"  so I need to really work on staying in the moment. 

Your right Fugs,  if I don't try it again on my own I will end up regretting it so I plan to leave on Monday.

I am a work in progress always.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

 

I measure failure only by if you don't try.

Four years is an awfully long time ago Kitt, there has been alot of learning that has taken place in this time, clearly your self awareness has grown, and you have your eyes wide open.

What's the worst that can happen, a repeat? So what, you gave it a go, and that makes you a fighter. You will have us with you if you have the laptop with you, so though you may think you are alone, you are not.

All power to you Kitt, I reckon you can and will do this, and you will be proud of yourself as well.

I want you to look at this trip as 'Soul food', it is growth for sure.

HAVE FUN KITT

Good for you!!! If you think it would help, and would like to set up a CHAT, let us know time and day-I think I speak for all-we'll be there;)
S.C.

Woow ! Im Impressed ! Hi-Five For Even thinking about it again ! you give me hope that ill b at that point one day :) .

Hi Awty!;) Haven't heard anything. My guess (and hope) is that she is doing fine and enjoying a much needed break. Moderators work really hard and endlessly in keeping the forum going. I'm sure we'll hear something soon. If you are checking in Kitt-hope you're having the best time-you ROCK!
S.C.

Hey all,  I went,  I am back home and I failed miserably, full blown panic and driving the 200 miles one way I was in constant anxiety. I spent most of my time crying to my husband who offered to drive up and get me.  "Leaf peeping" set me back me even thow my husband says i at least made the drive - I was so scared.  I drove back today and had to repeat out loud - "Stop It"  as I was on the verge of tears of fear all the way home. 

Guess I am not good at going on a road trip alone to a city where I know not a soul. 

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

It's okay, you are safe at home and that's what matters for now. You made an effort and that is progress in our book! I've gotta run for work, but I know you'll be getting more hugs and encouragement soon. Though it may not feel like it now, you did good!
hugs and luvs,
S.C.

kitt, you can do it as you are a strong and courageous woman. just trying is doing good, just because you couldnt do it before doesnt mean you are a failure because you tried and that is important in itself. its not a failure if you at least attempt it. you will never get over your fear if you dont try. so i urge you to go forth and do it. you could just have fun. you can always come to ohio and see me.

Thank you so very, very much everyone.  I made many mistakes and the snowball just kept getting bigger.

1.  I am a great navigator and love to travel with my hubby and my children and grandchildren but I tense up in traffic when I have to drive and then I feel anxious and scared.  I know this, so what made me think I would do well going by myself that far with no one to visit ? 

2.  I left at 8:15 AM our time on Monday and my daughter was frantic trying to reach me as a friend of ours was in a 7 car accident and was at the trauma center up town.  It was over 2 hours before I called her -  and she was upset and scolded me for not having my phone on.  I don't keep it on when driving but turn it on when stopped.  So I bought into "guilt"  and felt I should have stayed home if I was needed here.  In fact my heart told me I was not needed here but I let what others said send me into "stinkin thinkin"

3.  I usually stay in nice motels with lobbies and people around to interact with.  I chose a Mom and Pop motel cuz I was saving money.  The room was tiny and smelled musty.  No shampoo -  What was that all about ?  I did bring my own.  No lobby. 

4.  It was raining and gloomy all the way so 5 hours driving in the rain and a bit of fog............more tension.

5.  And  - today was our son Todd's Birthday anniversary -  he would have been 42 this year.  What made me think I could spend this day alone without my family  ?   I have missed 20 birthdays he should have celebrated.

The good part -  I did spend the night in the motel alone even thow I was crying and wanted to be back home I stuck it out over night.  I saw some fall leaves and I also saw five deer but did not hit any.  I made myself stop on the way home at a Casino and took a one hour break as I knew I was over tense by this time.  I won $200.00 on a penny machine.  I took the money and ran.

I got to have a reunion with my wonderful dog when I got home.

I will be making an appointment with my therapist to work through this. 

I will keep making progress and go back to taking some babysteps.  I am always a work in progress.

Love yas,

Kitt

Sounds like some great insights Kitt. You're well on your way and I'm glad to see that you were able to take something away from the experience. Apparently there were a lot of extenuating circumstances this time around. Hopefully in the future things will go smoother.

I hope your family friend is OK and can certainly appreciate the emotional significance of anniversaries. That's a whole heck of a lot to cram into 2-3 days! Wishing you well!!

There used to be a mantra in this forum a while back. Baby steps? Small steps? Something like that. I'm pretty sure you can do this, Kitt, but maybe you should start with some short day trips, graduate to longer day trips, and then maybe an overnighter. I think after you have proved to yourself you can stay overnight somewhere you'll feel like you can do anything.

But it's great you tried. So many don't try to get better, and that's what failure is (as awty said).