strachan1978 said...
I'm just so sick and tired of this. If it's not one set of physical symptoms and all the dark thoughts that accompany them then it's another set of physical symptoms with a whole new set of dark thoughts. My CBT sessions taught me to ignore the dark thoughts as what they claim is true is actually false - it's just negative thoughts that can't harm me. But they DO harm me as I just can't stop believing them no matter how hard I try.
Hi Chris,
Sounds like you have a lot going on here. Some people seem to struggle more or less with physical symptoms (Sx) for whatever reason. Personally, I get a lot of them. One of the things that frustrated me the most was that the Sx were always changing. It seemed like everytime I convinced myself that it wasn't a real health threat, but just the anxiety a bunch of new Sx would emerge. I viewed it as my body telling me something. I was anxious because of some other underlying reason. If I dismissed the symptoms as "just anxiety" then I was no longer motivated to deal with the real issues so my body would over and over up the anty and come up with some new physical Sx. As I began to work on my underlying issues the Sx started to back off. They're still there, but less frequent and less intense. Then again I'm not done dealing with the issues either.
Even though I knew my doctors would tell me that it was just anxiety, I felt reassured simply by making a list of all my new Sx and sharing it with someone at our next appointment. After you get that medical "clearance" then it's up to you to remind yourself that you've been cleared and that even if you don't feel it you are in reality safe.
strachan1978 said...
Can I ask you a question please? If you don't have the answer to it then please don't worry. I'm gay, but have never come out to my friends and family. I'm now 32 years old and have carried this secret with me for a loooong time. I feel a lot of my problems stem from this - the fact I can't be who I really am coupled with the constant dread of the day I finally come out to everyone. Obviously if i were to just come out and tell my family it would be a huge emotional weight lifted off my shoulders.
Recently I have felt closer to coming out than I have ever done before, I think because if I thought for one minute my anxiety and poor mental health would benefit from me getting this out in the open then I'd do it in a flash.
Well, I can't tell you if coming out will eliminate your anxiety - but I can certainly appreciate how not coming out would add to the anxiety you currently have. I think you said that your therapist thought it might be a good idea. So that means that you came out to her. What was
that like for you? Were you nervous at first? Did you feel relieved afterwards? Did you feel judged or accepted? If you did tell your parents, how do you think they'd respond? If they didn't approve, do you think you would feel any better simply having gotten that "big secret" out in the
open and off your chest?
Another thought is you're on this online forum. Maybe you can find another one with people who are thinking about
coming out or who already have. I'm sure they could offer you a wealth of feedback and ideas that you may not be able to get here. Finally, if you do come out - you don't have to do it all at once. You don't have to come out to your entire family and every single friend all on the same day. You could always tell one person who you feel the most comfortable with. Each time you tell somebody it'll likely get easier - so if you do I would suggest starting with the people you think would be the most understanding and supportive. Good luck!