Hi. Im new.

And heres my story. Im 17 and last fall was the worst time of my life. First a wonderful and close friend of mine passed suddenly and then about 2 months later my grandmother passed away and then shortly after my dog that id had for around 10 years had a seizure and died too. This was the first time I had ever had to deal with the loss of a loved one and sadly it came in a group of 3. I thought I was okay at the time but looking back thats when this all began. I now have an intense fear that I will die young and leave my new family behind [once i have one]. I also cry uncontrollably if I ever ponder death whether its my own or someone close to me. Im extremely emotional and on edge most of the time and it strains my relationships with people. I often would have a rapid heart rate which the halter monitor showed was at times 175 bpm. I get bored easily, even when eating and dont like to do the things I used to as much. Id rather be sleeping or laying around the house. I also have a huge tendency to procrastinate which I never noticed before [though this may just be because of my age]. My father is older, hes 58 this month and I worry about him every day sometimes to the point of tears and cant stand to imagine being without him. I cant sit still and am always bouncing my knee or swaying back and forth. Im really hoping this medication is what Im needing.