Update on health anxiety

So I saw my allergist on Monday, and he was really understanding and insightful about my avoiding eating so many things that I'm afraid I could be allergic to.  He plans to set up what are called "food challenges" for me; that means I actually eat the stuff, but in a hospital setting so that if anything goes wrong, they can treat me right away.  And we only do it with foods we believe I am not going to have a reaction to anyway.

I'm trying to let go of the bad medical advice I've gotten over the past five years: specifically, that I'm not allergic to some of these things so I shouldn't avoid them, and that I could just challenge myself (that's what my PCP said last month).  My allergist said that was a very bad idea.  He and I both know that I'm unlikely to be allergic to all the things I fear, but that some of the tests I've had aren't so reliable for some of them.  And I've had so many non-specialists and counselors, and well-meaning laymen, argue that ,yes, I was in danger, or no, I wasn't, just from a verbal history, that I've lost the ability to trust my own physical experiences.  So we're going to try to get to the bottom of it.

It's just hard to stop trying to push myself not to be afraid; after all, when we have anxiety, we want to learn to push through it.  And for years, my ER docs, my therapists, or others who weren't allergy specialists tried to insist that I was "only" feeling anxiety, so they wanted me to push through it.  I still want to, but in a smart, allergy-safe way.  My self-challenge at home a couple of weeks ago wasn't smart, even if it was a typical approach to handling a phobia. 

I'm grateful to finally have a doctor who is willing to help me out in that way.  I'll be terrified to go through with the challenges, but need to do so, and I'll be in the safest possible environment, with lots of advance safeguards and tests.

percycat

Thanks. They have tested me, but only via blood tests, which aren't so accurate for fruits and veggies as skin tests (the extracts used are processed and can also degrade, compared to the fresh items). Yet no one had ever even mentioned a skin test for foods until a couple of months ago.

I really feel let down by the docs I've tried to trust over these past several years, and there's been terrible anxiety with trying to protect myself all that time when I've had a sense of something wrong but was constantly told there wasn't, and that I should just get over it.

percycat

Percy,

I am glad you and your allergist have a plan now and you can be in the hosptial for the testing which is a real positive for you.

I know you have bad feelings re your past experiences and truly I know how that works to feel  let down by others.  It hurts as you trusted these people, Doctors or whatever the circumstances. Many of us hang on to things that at some point have hurt us, angered us, made us feel sad, or depressed us.. yet we keep thinking about them. I find it hard to let go of the hurt.

For me ~  letting go of the past and negative situations by getting my mind to
focus on different things works well.   This helps me  to stop the feelings of sadness and pain at the memories of feeling abandoned or let down. I hope you can get past the hurt and focus on the testing and believe that you will find your answers to your allergies with the testing.

You are very strong and just keep on believing in you, Percy.  We are here to support you all the way.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

You're really brave, percycat! It takes a lot of guts to be able to face the things that scare you the most - especially when you have anxiety adding to everything! It's always great when you find a doctor (or anybody for that matter) who understands you and wants to help you on YOUR terms, instead of just saying "this is what you need, just trust me and get over it". What a weight off your shoulders it will be to get this over with :) Good luck!