Is it normal for therapy to make me worse?

Hi, I'm new here and looking for some advice. I have been going to therapy for two years now and feel like I have gotten worse and worse over the time that I have been in therapy. I have suffered from anxiety and depression (on a minor scale)for most of my life, but it never really interfered with my life. It exploded and I decided to see a therapist after I suffered a traumatic event.

I came to therapy to learn to cope with the traumatic event and move on. My therapist, however, began bringing up things that I never really thought about or saw as a problem. He began discussing with me why I don't have friends, or prefer to spend my weekends at home reading or why I don't want to a partner, etc...

Over time, I feel like this really hit me and I became obsessed with all that is not right with my life. While before I used to be content with life, aside from dealing with the trauma, now I worry and am depressed about it 24/7. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't eat. My whole day is consumed with worrying about how I have to make changes to my life.

My question is: Is this normal of therapy? Am I supposed to be feeling so much worse? Does it get worse before it gets better? ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED!

6x,

I agree with Kitt, at first it is harder, as issues are transparent, and emotions are raw, that being said, two years?

I may be speaking out of turn, as I don't do therapy, but I think you can have brakes in between, or even change counseller if you aren't getting results you want.

You should be gaining new insights, new ways of coping with issues, and working through trauma, not, having your pile added to, not having lower self esteem.

As long as you do it with a plan in place, if I stop, and things become difficult, I will do this, this and this. Be logical and realistic, never make a knee jerk decision.

Good luck

Hi sixtimes and welcome.

That's a good question you raise. Obviously if you're going to therapy you're going with the intention of getting better. Therapy is a process and especially when you're dealing with trauma it can take a long time. Two years is not all that long of a time when overcoming trauma, but two years is a long time to go feeling that things are getting worse, not better. Have you felt this way all along?

It's true as has already been mentioned, that when things are brought up that you can feel worse before you feel better. But this should be a transitional feeling. My concern would also be with what you said about your therapist bringing up stuff that you never thought of before. Is he bringing up stuff on his own for the two of you to discuss or is he trying to tie in things you've talked about in the past to what you're talking about that day? Therapists should be guides, but primarily you should lead the direction of the conversation.

You always have the option of switching to another therapist. Do you know your current therapist's training? Many people with anxiety use CBT (cognitive-behavioral) therapy. Therapists that explore and focus on your past as it relates to your future are often described as psychodynamic. I would recommend a therapist that has experience working with trauma. Think of it like an area of specialization, just like medical doctors have specialists for different areas of the body.

If you do switch to someone new you'll have to "start over" sharing your story; so you'll need to keep that in mind when deciding what to do. I would suggest that if you're considering making a switch that you call a few on the phone in order to get a feel for their personalities, ask about their experience with trauma and A/P, and see if you think they might make a good match for you. I would also suggest being honest with your current therapist and asking him the same question you raised here. Does he know that you've been struggling and feel like things are getting worse instead of better? Having that conversation may allow him to initiate some adjustments to your sessions that could improve things. That's especially a good idea when you consider how much time you've already invested in this person.

If money's not a big issue and you do decide to switch you might consider starting with a new person while finishing up with the current therapist (overlapping for a few weeks). That could help you to make a smoother transition while assuring that the new person is the right one and wrapping up the work and progress you made with your current therapist. Good luck!