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Health anxiety - as usual

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Posted 11/29/2010 12:48 AM (GMT 0)
All,

Tomorrow, I have to see one of my doctors, who in the past has given me a diagnosis that I don't fully believe any more.  However, she is a throat specialist, and after a couple of recent scary episodes, I really need help and want an allergy challenge *during* a throat scope for my throat symptoms.  I'm hoping that she will be willing to do this, because I think she is very thorough in her observations with a scope, and because she has the best equipment around for it (even better than the local university hospital). 

One doc I saw last year claimed that he already performed a "challenge" on me, but we didn't get a reaction that day, he didn't look around very throughly with the scope (too distracted teaching his new intern about the machine and yelling at me not to move 'cause that was making it hard for her!), and he doesn't have equipment that could record the camera's results to show me afterwards.  Said what he thought I had, but that it "wasn't definitive," and then beat me up verbally at my next appointment when I was still scared and mistrustful of the diagnosis.  He didn't even have any emergency meds ready in case I did have a severe reaction and acted surprised when I asked about it the day of the test.  The doc I'm seeing tomorrow had referred me to him, unfortunately.

I'm really scared - scared of when my throat closes up, scared that it is something dangerous with no doctors taking me seriously, scared that even if it's not dangerous they'll not do any tests to help me believe that, scared that I could die because I mistakenly trusted that I couldn't be hurt by something.  I know that when we have health anxiety, we are extremely needy for reassurance, but this past week, with three throat problems happening back-to-back, has just pushed me to the edge.  I do need BETTER reassurance than just a pat on the head and a "see me in 6 months."

Please send out your positive thoughts, wishes, and prayers for me.  If this doc won't do it, I'll need those positive wishes while I fight to find someone who will.   But I'm just so tired of fighting...

percycat

Posted 11/29/2010 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Percy, sorry that you are going through a rough patch. I'm sending positive thoughts and hugs your way. I know too well how it feels for your doc to just to pat you on the head and send you on your way without any reassurance. My current doc does that and he came highly recommended from two of my family members. I'm going through a rough patch with my health anxiety and I don't even want to go see him to find out what's wrong. Please be strong and remember I'm sending positive thoughts AND hugs your way.

Nelle
Posted 11/29/2010 6:11 AM (GMT 0)
Good luck P.C. I hope that you find the answers that you need without too much anxiety. Remember your relaxation and breathing exercises! Post and let us know how it goes tomorrow.
Peace, thoughts, prayers and hugs.
S.C.
Posted 11/29/2010 3:48 PM (GMT 0)
Percy,

I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending lots of good vibes that your Doctors appointment goes well.  Do keep us posted.

Kindly,

Kitt

Posted 11/29/2010 6:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Percy,

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. . . I wish you the best of luck on either getting your current doctor to help you out or finding one that will take a more active role in figuring out what is going on.

Take care now!
Sam
Posted 11/29/2010 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
*sigh* She didn't want to address either issue. One clear piece of information, though, is that I am reacting to even more foods than I had thought. She told me that anything that affects my throat immediately after eating it is from the food, not my reflux. That includes about 6-8 things that I had been trying to eat despite the throat constriction that followed them.

I'll get better answers about the allergies from my allergist next time we meet, I guess.

I suppose when I have more time to think about it, I'll get pretty depressed. Including the new items, I am having to eliminate nearly all fruits and many vegetables now, as well as eggs and some grains. It's scary thinking that my body is suddenly "wanting to kill me." I had no allergies at all until 5 years ago, and now they seem to be cropping up faster than I can keep track of. It's also very discouraging to think of how this affects my work and social life.

percycat
Posted 11/29/2010 8:43 PM (GMT 0)
Aww Percy, Im sorry things didnt go as you hoped. Im hoping things go better and that you get the answers you need when you see the allergist next week. Hope you feel better.

Nelle
Posted 11/30/2010 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry you are going through all of this Percy and I wish you the best in getting all of this straightened out. Good luck with the allergist my friend!

Take care,
Sam
Posted 11/30/2010 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
I hate that when docs don't take you seriously. I had that so many times in the past that I just want to scream in frustration and now I want to do the same for you. I sincerely hope you find the answers to your issues. When do you go see the allergist?
Posted 11/30/2010 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
The allergist's office has not called back in about a week, but given the holiday, I'm going to wait until THursday and then call to see where we stand in setting up the food tests.

In two weeks I go to a major research hospital to see an ENT there. Maybe he can think outside the box for me.

So discouraged and scared...

percycat
Posted Yesterday 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
I forgot to mention that I've lost over 20% of my weight in the past four months. My GP shares my concern about the weight loss, and threatened to "do something" if it continued, but I don't think food challenges are the something he has in mind. He believes all I have is anxiety. I picture him sending me to the hospital and force-feeding me things that might kill me.

Please offer ideas, or at least let me know I'm not alone. I don't know why my docs are all fighting me about this. They either toss out the "avoid that food" advice but don't step up to the plate when the avoidance list gets too big, or it's the other extreme, where they tell me I can't really be having an allergic reaction yet won't help me to confirm that. It's the allergists and ENTs who say "avoid," and the ER and regular docs who say "can't be." I feel like I have to do what the experts say, but now what am I supposed to eat?!

Sad and discouraged,
percycat
Posted Yesterday 12:59 AM (GMT 0)

percycat said...
I feel like I have to do what the experts say, but now what am I supposed to eat?!

I was just thinking the same thing as I was reading through this post. I'm not surprised that you've lost so much weight. It's like your body is continually adding to the "do not eat" list. Eventually you'll get to a point where you'll have nothing left. and are being fed through an IV. I know that's not what you want.

I don't have a medical background, but I wonder if it really is allergies directly from the food... I'm just coming up with random thoughts here, but could you have an allergy to something in your environment that's causing a reaction with the food? When my mother moved into her current home she couldn't stop scratching. It took covering the walls and ceilings with plastic to determine that she was allergic to what the previous resident had left inside the walls (I forget now what that something was).

But anyway, this is like a House mystery. Somewhere there has to be an explanation, but it may not be the obvious. Can you think of anything that's changed in the past five years that perhaps you've overlooked? Have you moved? Taken up a new hobby? New job? New hangout? I guess theoretically you could've taken in something from the air at work or elsewhere that's in your system now and interacting with the food... I know it's out there, but I'm just fishing for different ideas for you. I wish you well Percycat!
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