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My Husband VS The Counselor

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 12/8/2010 4:10 AM (GMT 0)
confused  My husband and I had a joint counseling session with my therapist today.  All went well, he didn't get upset like I thought he would when he was being asked questions.  He did make himself quite clear to the therapist that he would not look into becoming a Class A CDL driver and haul things all over the place, or do anything else other than be the Class B CDL driver he is now and work for who he is working for now.  For us to be together again he is going to have to find a truck-driving job that is steady employment, work every week instead of working every other week, which will pay enough. I don't know if I will be able to go back to work---I'm concentrating hard on my group counseling sessions the three days a week I go, but I am still very anxious and the thought of even driving to work sends me into a panic attack.  I know that if my husband really puts his all into looking for a driving job, one will come up for him because I believe the Lord will put it before him.  He just has to want to accomplish this badly enough---badly enough for us to be together again.  The therapist said that we should both be looking for a place together, but my husband wants to move out of his grandmother's house now and is looking for a place on his own.  I am going to pray and humbly ask that you all agree with me in prayer that the Lord will move on my husband's behalf and mine and His will be done.

Thanks so much, I love you guys and I will see you later.

Camylou

Posted 12/8/2010 5:22 AM (GMT 0)
Camylou, you can count me in for prayers for you and your husband! I am sorry that things are difficult for you two right now. I am so proud of you though for enduring, and continuing to do so well in your program! Your health is too important not to keep up the good work!
Things will be fine, be patient a little longer, and keep up the faith!
Hugs, and love and prayers!
Scaredy Cat

P.s. be sure to read the last post from Fugs- he has a nice message for you, and you will probably want to respond:)
Posted 12/8/2010 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
Camylou,

I am glad to hear you are going to counseling and also that you and your husband are going to couple counseling.  You are being very proactive in helping yourself.

I cannot imagine how hard it is to live away from your husband or the pressure all of this is putting on you.  I have never been put in this position.   You have my prayers for both you and your husband to be able to resolve this is a positive way that will benefit both of you.

I wish you peace,

Kitt

 

Posted 12/8/2010 10:40 PM (GMT 0)
Scaredy Cat, thank you so very much for your prayers, hugs and your words of encouragement. I will be patient, wait a little longer, and keep up the faith like you said. Kitt, my husband heard exactly what he was meant to hear from the therapist, I believe, and that's why he didn't get upset right then and there; he knows what he needs to do, and now he needs to do it. It is really hard being apart from him, now being a full month, and I very much appreciate your prayers that we will be able to resolve this whole thing in a positive way that WILL benefit both of us. I talked to him a few minutes today around 12:30 PM, and he had just got out of bed at 10:00 AM and was having his coffee. He was a bit grumpy, but I felt like I needed to tell him that a jeweler could resize his wedding band so he wouldn't have to buy another one (I don't know if I told you guys that he showed up not wearing his wedding band at the counseling session). He is complaining that the ring is now too big and it is giving him cuts on the inside of his pinky finger. He listened to me, and then I asked how his kitty was doing and he said Tiger was OK, just eating a bit more than normal. Folks, that cat is already 16.6 lbs so he's already a big thing, haha. Probably putting on his 'winter fat'?
Anyhow, I love you guys and thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. I will be praying for you too. Take care, peace and joy in this holiday season and I will see you later.
Camylou
Posted 12/9/2010 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
Camylou,

I am definitely sending up prayers for you and your husband.

I'm glad you're going to joint counseling and that the therapist, you, and your husband have some very clear directions about what you need to do. It really sounds like there was absolutely no question in anyone's mind about that. Praying that you all have the strength and wisdom to keep moving forward!

percycat
Posted 12/9/2010 2:37 PM (GMT 0)
Camylou,

((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))).  I know you are working very hard at holding things together.  You are doing all you can do and I hope you take the time each day to do something nice just for you.

I wish you the joy and peace of the Christmas Season.

Gentle Hugs and Prayers,

Kitt

* , • Merry' • , * '
…* ' •♫♫*♥*♫♫ • ' * '
' ' • Christmas . • ' ' '
' ' • ♫♫♫*♥*♫♫♫• * ' '
Posted 12/9/2010 5:49 PM (GMT 0)
Every action begins with an idea. The idea of him looking for a different job has been implanted upon him. He may not be jumping up to find a new job, but he may have begun the process (internally on a mental level). Also by having that joint counseling session he should be able to add to his understanding of what you're going through.

As supportive as he's been, it's interesting that he stated so clearly that he has no plans to change jobs. I can't help but wonder what the tie is to his current position. It is loyalty? Has he been there for a very long time? Uncertainty in this economy? Something about being "Class A" and the different responsibilities that that would entail....?

Even if you don't understand the path, you know you're where you're supposed to be right now. Keep up the good work, the group and personal counseling, your own work outside of sessions, etc. You will get through this.

Prayerfully,
Fugs
Posted 12/9/2010 9:22 PM (GMT 0)
Percycat, Kitt, Fugs--thank you so very much for your thoughts and prayers. Yes, my husband has a clear view of what he needs to do, and so do I. What is his tie to his current position? I wonder about that myself, other than his stating to the therapist, "This is the job I like to do." It may be that he feels a part of their family too, and he's stated that to me before. His own family life was bad when he was a child and a teenager. Also, he can call his boss or his boss's brother and 'cry on their shoulders' about everything that's going on. Not too many bosses who will put up with that--they'll just tell you to 'buck up' and that's that. I hope that each of you have a wonderful Christmas and a blessed New Year, and as always my prayers are with you. Love you guys bunches,
Camylou
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