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Posted 3/3/2011 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
I've had this fear for a long time and I wanted to know if anyone else has had it.  I have a fear that I will lose touch with reality and hurt myself or someone around me.  The thought repulses me and brings me to the verge of tears everytime.  I think "How could you ever think that?  You must be going crazy!" and then the fears get worse with it sometimes resulting in a panic attack which again makes things worse because of the 'dream-like' sensation and the 'out-of-body' sensation.  I actually remember when I was 15 or so and I had this thought and I got so scared and panicky that I might harm a family member that I ended up with hives the next morning...

Is this normal for someone with anxiety/panic?

Posted 3/3/2011 11:58 PM (GMT 0)
Anasong- did u get the reply I just sent a few minutes ago? Not sure if it went,
Posted 3/4/2011 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
Anasong - I dont think my reply went. I had the exact things happen to me. Not with anxiety but full blown panic attacks. Out of my body, dark thoughts I didnt want 2 have, horrified when it passed. This is very common for most with panic attacks. What stopped that level of panic n those things 4 me is 60 mg of buspar. Like you I dont ever want 2 feel or think that way ever. I wld call someone and tell them what was happening and 2 just talk 2 me about anything. I knew it cld only last so long. I still have awful anxiety and low grade panic attacks. Just not to that degree but nothing stopped it 4 me but buspar. Talked to may ppl n other professionals but its really helping me 2 decrease shame about not being able 2 just control it and that others know exactly exactly how I feel. I had 2 find that right med and make sure I keep talking to someone cuz when ur not thinking right...ur not thinking right. Keep support going. I do understand. HUGGZ
Posted 3/4/2011 4:57 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks BluAngel-they are scary and still freak me out to this day.  I do get them occasionally and was doing some research and found out that it is a common fear - thank God.  My doc just upped my Lexapro to 40 mg instead of 30 and I'm now taking a B complex vitamin, along with Vitamin D and Omega 3.  I do feel a little better today and tomorrow I'm going to see a counselor.  I just have a lot of fears where I lose control and do something embarrassing or harmful and they are so distressing shakehead .

Thank you again for your support!!

Posted 3/5/2011 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
[Anasong - like that username, glad u saw dr. Hope it helps. If not keep trying them. I just owe my life literally 2 buspar! Those p-attacks were terrifying. Felt embarrassed later 2. Felt like a little tornado w/ tiny razor blades out of control or a chicken w/ my head cut off (actually seen my gmother do that!!) But Im having a decent day! Went 2 dr yday, new abiotics. Have low blood sugar n when it bottoms out has a smaller similar effect as p-attack. Cant figure out why being chronically sick n the attacks make me so ashamed, kills selfesteem. I know better but so shamed by being sick. Do u ever feel that way? Only have sons n1 Sister living but r supportive. Come 2 see u can get thru anything in the world with family friends or support! HUGGZ
Posted 3/5/2011 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
anasong4
I will admit your first post through me for a loop but I am glad to see ou have followed up with your therapist, amd an adjustment with your meds as well as following up with your therapist.

Remember to trust in yourself and seek out your Dr. when you have hit the bottom.

Here to support you.

Kindly,
Kitt
Posted 3/6/2011 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hope everyone has had a pretty good day. I actually did and Its been awhile. I think participating in this forum and with all of you is making a difference for me and I hope for you all as well. thank you to all! HUGGZ
Posted 3/7/2011 5:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hello!  I think almost everyone who has issues with anxiety (including me), has negative or unusual thoughts.  But these are just thoughts only because our minds are racing out of control and at the moment we can't control it.  Try using some type of distractions.  That's what I do to keep my mind busy.

I have learned that the busier I stay, the better off I am.  Think of things that have made you happy in the past and as soon as you have the negative thought, replace it with your happy thoughts. 

Also, if you live near a library, maybe you should try checking out an anxiety book.  I am not a reader at all, but I think I am going to do this sometime this week.

Good luck with everything!!

Posted 3/7/2011 6:23 AM (GMT 0)
I just bought Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for dummies so I'm delving into that.  I'm also feeling a little better every day even though I just got some news that my hubby might be gone longer than we thought :(  But I have a good support system and I do seem to do better when my mind is busy.  One thing I think helps is unwinding at the end of the day with some meditation :)
Posted 3/7/2011 7:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone! Just throwing in my 2 cents worth! Having been a counselor for 24 yrs Ive utilized a wide variety of treatment modalities. The last 10 yrs was cognitive-behavioral therapy for various problems and thats why I stayed with CBT that long....its the best thing out there! Definately the best. Hang n there. Awful nausea today. Will check back later. HUGGZ 2 all!
Posted 3/8/2011 5:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hey BluAngel,

Yeah, this week has been tough so far...found out yesterday that I might not even have a job anymore...I'm kind of a mess again...very depressed and anxious. It just seems like everything keeps getting piled on more and more and to add to that, the stupid thoughts come back with a vengenance. Egad, my head hurts :(
Posted 3/9/2011 3:16 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Anasong - Ive worked since age16. Worked 4 a private counseling co. over last 10 yrs contracted 2 state. Always knew each time contract came up it cld end but didnt think it would. Loved it so I took the risk. When it did, was a divorced mom of 2. Sole n only income. Massive anx & panic! Thought Id b a baglady 4 sure. Did u tell me u have kids? U will still get benefits frm hubby? Id never dismiss how scary this is. I had taken sole care of mom 4 over 3 yrs when she got injured. When she passed it all came 2 me 2 handle n I had no idea what 2 do or how, never done that b4. I freaked out over n above her death cuz seemed like some agcy or tax or paperwk or bills just wouldnt end. Felt like I was in a shark tank n everyone kept biting a piece. I learned quickly, saw a grief counselor & that part did finally end. Maybe start asking the military, other wives, assisting agencies in ur area what wld b available 2 u. Remember ur anxiety is going 2 tell u its all gonna b terrible. CONT -
Posted 3/9/2011 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
CONT - No. It will prob just be different. Talk to those agencies make lists of what u can do if u need to. Ur anx will make it sound worse n your head n usually what happens is the worry is way worse than how it comes out. I always told my boys God hasnt dropped us on our heads yet. Dont know why itd wld happen now. Ppl r making it every day incl. me. My mom said not to borrow trouble. Its not happening this minute n mite not. If it does ur going to amaze yourself at what u can do and dont try to do it alone. I have faith in you! HUGGZ
Posted 3/9/2011 3:37 AM (GMT 0)
I have learned that the busier I stay, the better off I am. Think of things that have made you happy in the past and as soon as you have the negative thought, replace it with your happy thoughts.

Also, if you live near a library, maybe you should try checking out an anxiety book. I am not a reader at all, but I think I am going to do this sometime this week.

Good luck with everything!!

I was in a terrible panic mode all of the night and did some of that. One very comforting thought I came up with was when I was just a tiny girl I crawled in bed with my Mum and SPOONED. It felt so good to be sitting in her lap and falling asleep. I felt so safe. It only happened once but it was so great I'll never forget it. THAT though got me to relax and fall asleep last night when nothing else worked.

Very few things in my life have brought me happiness or joy. It seems there has always been someone, in every situation, that worked really hard at taking away anything good I had at the time.
Posted 3/9/2011 4:29 AM (GMT 0)
Glacier great tip about checking out books on A/P from the library!!!! I read just about every one that mine had, and was able to take the best information and ideas from each.
I credit this, along with therapy, as instrumental in my recoverysmile
Thanks for the reminder for all,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 3/9/2011 5:04 PM (GMT 0)
I am glad I could help you Glacier :-)
Posted 3/9/2011 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
Good afternoon! Sorry - Somehow my posts went out backwards last time 2 u A nasong....the phone thing. Hope everyone is hanging in 2day. Does anyone notice that when u have nightmares you wake up with real anxiety and it seems to last all day? I do that a lot and was wondering if it happens to others?
Posted 3/12/2011 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Annasong - havent seen you around lately and in ur last post I recall u saying you were having a hard time. Hope ur just busy but okay. I had such an awful day 2day with ptsd. Some things came up unexpectedly associated with yrs ago, but effects my son and I JUST LOST IT. I had no idea it still had that kind of power to devastate me the way it did. I had a moderately high level panic attack. Had my iv iron infused yday n that always makes me sick and jangely but this was gut wrenching. I normally have no reason to think of that old situation but discussing it only slightly just blew me apart. It was disappointing 2 know it cld still get me. Well, I really just wanted to see about you and make sure youre ok. Im here! HUGGZ
Posted 3/12/2011 2:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Blue, I'm sorry that you had a rough time of it yesterday. It sounds like there was more than a couple of things that could have contributed to your increased anxiety:(

To answer your previous post's question, yes I have woken from nightmares in a panic attack, and have found it hard to recover and not let it 'rule' the whole day!

What helped me most with these nocturnal attacks was to use a positive mantra. I would say something like.."I'm okay, it's only fear" If it continued to palgue me during the day, I would make sure to do extra breathing and relaxation.

I sure hope that you are feeling better today, and have a peaceful weekend:)
Scaredy Cat
Posted 3/16/2011 11:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hello folks. Just wondering about Anasong and hope things r going okay. PATS ON THE BACK TO EVERYBODY.
Posted 3/22/2011 6:30 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Anasong,

You are not alone. I too have had such thoughts, same scenario, same fear - it's so scary! We are going to fight through these obsessive thoughts cuz that is exactly what they are.. We will not lose our minds, we shall not do the unthinkable.. On a side note, I believe that a lot of these thoughts come from all the horror, violent movies and tv shows moreover, the horrific news we are exposed to. We get these thoughts and images (from sources aforementioned) and the fact that we have anxiety and prone to obessive thinking, somehow our mind sticks to the thoughts and images and then we panic cuz we start to think what if we lose control and carry out these thoughts, etc.,? Yet, we know deep down in our heart of hearts we know we could never harm a fly. That is why we are repulsed and scared by these thoughts. Just my theory behind this anyway. Peace be with us. I will pray for us!!! lm
Posted 3/23/2011 1:49 AM (GMT 0)
Ohhh Anasong? You out there somewhere? How ya doin?
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