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Really bad day, sick, anxiety, shakes/crying

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 3/26/2011 11:30 PM (GMT 0)
Ive been ok for 2 days. It just hit me like a light switch. I dont know how it happens so fast and just when I think Im making progress the sky falls and its like someone I love died. And Im grateful they didnt and ashamed to be so ungrateful and squall like they did when its all in my head. It breaks my heart to be this way. Times like these I feel like itll be this way forever. It cant be. I want to throw up. I want to run outside and keep running. Im sick. Im alone. And my heart is going to fly out of my chest. Oh please just say anything to me. Anything at all?
Posted 3/26/2011 11:35 PM (GMT 0)
I'm here Blue. Do your breathing now for ten minutes. Even if you can't get in a full breath at first, keep trying. I'll stay on:)
S.C.
Posted 3/26/2011 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
Lots of us are here...And we can all relate.

Like S.C. said, breath. I find just writing everything out helps b/c it forces me out of my head and helps me get my breathing in order. Log onto the chat - I'm finding that really useful! Just know you're not alone and it won't last forever...

Skatterprank
Posted 3/27/2011 12:10 AM (GMT 0)
How are you doing now Blue?
Posted 3/27/2011 12:19 AM (GMT 0)
Okay, I've got to go (taking my little one to a movie) but I'll check in later. Post back and give an update if you can.
S.C.
Posted 3/27/2011 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
Scatt - SP - Passed the shaking-tie-me-in-a-straight-jacket phase-squalling phase. Made it to the crawl-under-a-rock and think thoughts I cant speak. Sad. Ill be back later. Thank you for posting back.
Posted 3/27/2011 4:55 AM (GMT 0)
I hope that you are feeling better now and can get some sleep. I'll check in with you in the morning:)
S.C.
Posted 3/27/2011 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
Blu,

I hope today will be a better day. Remember to let go of yesterday and know you hit a bump in the road like all your peers here in the forum - we all hit that bump. Sometimes more then we would like.

One step at a time, one problem at a time. Know we are here for you and you are surround by wonderful friends.
Kindly,
Kitt
Posted 3/27/2011 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Blu,

I was under a rock yesterday but managed to crawl my way out; I'm sure you will too. Be patient, we're all rooting for you:)

SP
Posted 3/27/2011 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
Oh me. Good a.m. Catt, Kitt & SP. I have the left-over weepies. 4 me this is the shame phase & then Im ok. If I cls get n that chat room/blog I sure wld. I swear I dont know why I get such shame & guilt when Im sick or have a spell. Im hypoglycemic & even do it when my bld sugar bottoms. Certainly with every aspect of the addisons/dystonia/FM. Unless its a parental introjection, irrational belief I shld be able 2 control them...I swear I dont know. Dr switched from zoloft 2 prozac & I didnt grad d/c zoloft. Cld that b a factor? Does anyone else get all that shame stuff or just me? Anyway, thank u sooo much 4 posting back 2 me. It helps tremendously & I knew u were there when no one else was. GRATEFUL HUGGZ
Posted 3/27/2011 6:13 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry you are in such a state, been there a few times myself.

In my case I had to STOP taking any kind of medication, I mean just stop. I was having drug interactions that were making me nuts. I thought I was going insane but I knew deep down this wasn't me, it was drug induced. No one, meaning doctors, would or could help me, they just gave me MORE drugs and made me worse. You have to be strong for yourself and make the decision you aren't going to be lead around by the nose by doctors pushing drugs, that's what they do. God didn't mean for us to pump ourselves full of chemicals. You are in panic mode because your body is panicing. I wish I could talk to you privately. Believe me I know what you are going through. It's a freaking nightmare.
Posted 3/27/2011 9:08 PM (GMT 0)
Blu,

I understand how you feel ashamed and guilty for having a bad day but remember guilt is a wasted emotion and each day is a new day.  You have all of us hear to help you.

Hugs to you sweetie,

Kitt.

Posted 3/27/2011 9:13 PM (GMT 0)
Glacier

Many of our members choose to go without medications per their choice and I feel this is a personal decision for them.
On HealingWell we strive to seek a balance between alternative and traditional approaches. I feel strongly, both approaches have value for anyone seeking healing. Here is the link to our resouces here in the anxiety forum I am sure you have worked with some of the ideas promoted here:
https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206
Kindly,
Kitt
Posted 3/28/2011 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
Good evening all. Thank u again 4 ur support. And I appreciate ur input/experiences Glacier. I didnt start w/ meds. Was quite resistant 2 it originally. I have a primary dx of anx/panic disorder/dep/ptsd. 2 really kick it into gear addisons, dystonia & FM all cause anxiety especially the addisons d/t the exact nature of what it does. Mine was literally incapacitating & became dangerous. Of course I have & do many other things 2 manage it but 4 me theres simply no choice. Im acutely aware of probs & potential ones w/ meds both personally & professionally & wish I didnt need even an aspirin. I hope someday there will b improved treatments 4 some of the diseases I have that might lessen a/p/d but 4 today I have after much trial & error finally come 2 accept this is a necessary & literally life saving management tool I must use. The forum is very helpful 2 me all those here & your input, experiences, thoughts & willingness 2 share them. GRATEFUL HUGGZ 2 ALL
Posted 3/28/2011 4:59 AM (GMT 0)
I realized something else. This time of yr it gets me everytime. The 28th, 2moro, is the anniversary of when my sister was killed. I usually do positive things on that day. Guess this yr just too sick. She was wonderful & her name was Jean. I miss her.
Posted 3/28/2011 4:28 PM (GMT 0)
 

Just a personal thought here.

On those "Special" days, you know like the one you speak of concerning Jean, to ease it out for myself, I say it's a "Wannaday". Which means I treat it like it's my birthday and I only do what I wanna do. It eases it out for me. Eat something really good you never have. Buy yourself a gift, even if it's just online. Pamper yourself, do your nails, take a long, hot soak then rub yourself down with a good moisturizer head to toe, condition your hair. You understand, just treat yourself a little special and listen to some music you love. I have so many CDs I hardly ever listen to that always take me to another place. And when you are feeling all nice and calm, go take a nap. smilewinkgrin

Posted 3/28/2011 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
Blu,  You mentioned hypoglycemia.  Take special care and eat well for that condition.  I am that way as well, and if I do not eat regular small good meals I bottom out completely.  I hope today finds you feeling much better.

Glacier - Check out the thread started not long ago about nutrition, I think Mike619 started it.  Lots of good info. for those individuals interested in an alternative path.

Gem

Posted 3/28/2011 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone. Yes, w/ having no stomach, hypoglycemia & the other dxs I have, eating & nutrition are an extreme priority. It includes b12 injections & IV iron once per month. There are so many factors that physically create/exacerbate my anxiety its a full time job! Im going to place a new topic in the a/p forum about what helps me deal better with days like today when my sister passed. It seems to subconsciously distress me til I realize it but on the day...Im okay. And I cldnt agree anymore with how important doing good things for yourself is. Makes such a huge impact on that precious "inner child". GLAD YOURE HERE
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