Could it be Social Anxiety Disorder???

There isn't really a definite place to post this. Anyways. I have always been very shy. But it is something that has progressively become a struggle since high school and now into college. Does anyone have any experience with this? These are my symptoms so far:

If I get called on to answer something, read out loud, or spoken to with little warning, my hand start to shake, my legs will even tremble. I get really hot, my face blushes ruby red. I can't make a coherent sentence. My voice shakes and I can't control it. Soon it get hard to take more than shallow breaths. I then get light-headed.

I find that I can't make myself call people even if I don't really know them. (For instance, I much rather order pizza online than talk to the person working at the pizza place, even though I used to.) When i worked at the pizza place, I would avoid answering the phones, taking orders and talking to customers at all cost, i just made the pizzas and cleaned as avidly as possible.

I also avoid using public restrooms, starting conversations, and meeting new people at all costs. If I walk by a table of people in the cafeteria and they suddenly start laughing I have to talk myself out of the idea that it was at me. i feel constantly judged, and I am terrified of humiliation to any degree. I dwell and dwell and dwell over social situations - what I said, how I acted, what a fool I must have made of myself, how suchandsuch must think I'm a complete idiot etc. I've lost sleep over it.

Along with this, I do get really depressed.
I do have a history of abuse, if that is at all relevant.

I cannot afford an actual psychologist, plus I'm sort of afraid of going to and meeting one (go figure..)

I appreciate any help I can get. Thanks.

Inkpen.

Hi Inkpen,

Welcome to the anxiety forum. I totally understand what you are going through. I still have problems talking on the phone, thank the Lord for email. Thank somebody.lol... I have overcome a lot of my fears, but for me it came with age and experience. I do agree with the meditaion and cbt. It really helps. Do you have a counselor? I highly recommend that or reading some books on your situation. I am sure that there are many out there. There is a cbt book called "feeling good" by Dr. David Burns. It might be a good book for you to read.

Know that you most certainly aren't alone with your anxiety and depression. I take medications for it and that helps. But many don't 'want meds. They want to deal with things on their own. And it can be done for some, not all.

I sure do hope that you feel better soon. I am sure that there are many here that can relate to what you are going through. Remember to breathe. That really helps when you are experiencing anxiety.

Hugs, Karen

Thanks you guys, you are really helping. I don't really talk to anyone about this stuff. The pressure has really been on lately. I'm having to give a paper Monday in front of an audience and a judge panel and just thinking about it turns my stomach.

It was so great to come back on here and to see others who understood.

Thanks so much for your advice and your well-wishes!!

I also have social anxiety and so I can relate very much to what you are going through. I have struggled with it for as long as I can remember. Because mine started to get really bad when I was in 4th grade and my parents refused to admit that there might be something wrong with me, I did not get any real help for it until I got to college and could seek help on my own. There are a lot of coping strategies that you can use on your own to help yourself get better. I think the biggest thing is that you have to always challenge yourself. Call the pizza man instead of going online one day. Or go for a walk in a crowded area just for the fun of it and try to keep yourself from thinking that people are laughing at you. Most likely they did not pay any attention to you. Things like that can help. It'll be hard at first because it will make you anxious, but you have to make yourself do it anyway. Tell yourself, I know I'm anxious. That's okay. I need to do this anyway. It'll be a slow process but you will gradually get more comfortable with things through pure exposure.

Also, did you say you were a college student? I am also at college and poor (and my parents do not give me any money - in fact I pay them money..). Because of that, I also could not afford a counselor. I found out though, that my college offers free counseling to students and so I have been seeing a therapist there off and on since freshman year (I'm a senior). Despite them not being the most experienced counselors, they have still been able to help me a lot because they can actually understand what I am going through (unlike most people who just think I'm crazy). I would recommend doing some research and finding out if your college offers anything like that. Maybe something offered by graduate school students studying psychology? If not at your college then maybe a nearby one?

Hope that is helpful. Let us know how you are doing.
toutserabon