Well here it goes, im posting this as a hope of maybe getting it out will help me even feel a little relief!
i never thought that i would be the person ive become today and its only getting worse. i used to love life having a laugh going out, loved nothing more than shopping and getting out and about. A distant memory! i can barely remember what it was like to feel genuine happyness. I have my up and down days, calm moments and moments when im hysterical! (i manage to keep these under wraps) no one who knew me would guess i dont feel. I find myself wishing someone understood but then i cant understand why or how i feel this way. Its pathetic.
The physical symptoms are the worst. Ive had full hours where i genuinely think im going to stop breathing and die. Im nervy and jumpy and wont go anywhere if i know i cant escape. still manange to get to work etc but its as safe a place to me as any, its become comfortable and routine even though im only 22 and i know i should be looking for a more exciting and better career! (admin worker). I often feel like im chokeing. my hearts stopped beating, cant relax, twitching and pains in my chest. numbness in face and dizzyness. feel like im floating, difficulty co-ordinating my movements, and mix up my words or get tounge tied!!
too scared to go to the doctor. Feel like im going insane :(