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Impossible to believe anxiety is making me feel like this!

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Posted 4/26/2011 11:15 AM (GMT 0)
Well here it goes, im posting this as a hope of maybe getting it out will help me even feel a little relief!

i never thought that i would be the person ive become today and its only getting worse. i used to love life having a laugh going out, loved nothing more than shopping and getting out and about. A distant memory! i can barely remember what it was like to feel genuine happyness. I have my up and down days, calm moments and moments when im hysterical! (i manage to keep these under wraps) no one who knew me would guess i dont feel. I find myself wishing someone understood but then i cant understand why or how i feel this way. Its pathetic.

The physical symptoms are the worst. Ive had full hours where i genuinely think im going to stop breathing and die. Im nervy and jumpy and wont go anywhere if i know i cant escape. still manange to get to work etc but its as safe a place to me as any, its become comfortable and routine even though im only 22 and i know i should be looking for a more exciting and better career! (admin worker). I often feel like im chokeing. my hearts stopped beating, cant relax, twitching and pains in my chest. numbness in face and dizzyness. feel like im floating, difficulty co-ordinating my movements, and mix up my words or get tounge tied!!

too scared to go to the doctor. Feel like im going insane :(

Posted 4/26/2011 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Princess and welcome to HealingWell.

You have found the best group around to help validate your feelings and offer your caring and support.

I have experienced exactly what you described - just wanting to be your " old" self.  What I keep working at is letting my old self stay in the past as I cannot go back in time. Am I successful at doing this - sometimes but it is a huge challenge.

There are tips and ideas I could give you but I feel your first move should be to make that Doctor's appointment for a good all around physicial and share with him/her exactly how you are feeling.  It may be helpful to you to have a therapist to help you sort out what has brought on the anxiety.

Being anxious on a daily basis breaks you down so please see your Dr.

Here is a link that lists everything but the kitchen as possible symptoms of anxiety.  Take it with a grain on salt - look forward to getting to know you better.

Anxiety Symptoms, Anxiety Attack Symptoms (Panic Attack Symptoms), Symptoms of Anxiety:

http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml

Posted 4/26/2011 3:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi P.C. and welcome! Great advice given to by Kitt..I can only reiterate the importance of getting help for this treatable disorder. When you see your doctor, ask for a referral to a therapist who treats anxiety (with CBT methods if possible)

I went through this therapy, and it has given me my life back! I went from almost non-functioning (aside from family obligations and work, I was not enjoying/doing life) to being able to manage my A/P.

This is the most important gift you will ever give yourself. You will feel better physically and mentally guaranteed:)

Take care, and let us know how you are doing soon.
Scaredy Cat
Posted 4/26/2011 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
If you can't go to your doctor just yet, can your doctor come to you? Just askin cos I don't know where you are, eg UK or USA, here in England at least you can phone your doctors' and ask them to visit you at home and if it is appropriate, they will.

Dennis
Posted 4/28/2011 9:45 AM (GMT 0)
It is really comforting to know there are guys like you out there who understand. I've been having a good week this week, still a lot of trouble sleeping. Sometimes i catch myself feeling almost normal and think back to my freakout moments and wonder if its the same person! Im in Scotland, my doc is an nightmare old dinosaur who looks at me like im an alien from another planet when i visit him, the irony is my boss is actually also a doctor who im sure would understand, ive come close to a breakdown infront of him after an illness, but im too ashamed.

The world sees me as one person. i would love to be that person!

Ive managed to get up to the gym every morning and feel a world of difference, but it creeps up on me again by the afternoon. im really trying to control my thoughts distract myself etc. its just mad. The dizzyness is defo the worst i would have to say, it feels like an out of body experiance!

When i read all your experiances it really comforts me to know im not the only one and i wonder is there an end to this?!! ... im hopefull.
Posted 4/28/2011 3:51 PM (GMT 0)
Lol P.C., I laughed out loud at the description of your 'Dino Doc'! At least you still have your sense of humor, and I mean that seriously, it helps to be able to laugh and not get too overwhelmed by it all:)

I understand what you mean when you say the world knows you as the person that you want to be! But if you think about it, you ARE that person. You just happen to suffer an anxiety disorder. Most people I know would not believe that I have A/P either. I have a performance oriented job and hobbies, sometimes performing in front of hundreds of people. For a lot of people that would be terrifying, but for me my fears lay elsewhere, and would seem miniscule and ridiculous to many I bet! It all about personal perspective, you may have times when you are feeling down, weak, frantic...but you are still that confident, capable person at the same time!

Good job on going to the gym, exercising, doing the things that will help you manage the worry. I agree that the dizzy spells are the worst symptom! I absolutely have to fight with all my skills not to let it get to me when I experience them. The one thing that helped me the most for this are the breathing exercises. Many anxiety sufferers hyperventilate (over-breathe) with out realizing it. This physiologically brings on dizzyness. You may also notice other symptoms like tingling in your extremities and face, a feeling of unreality and floating sensations. If this sounds familiar, try some of the breathing techniques in the links of our A/P Resource Guide (top of page) They really work!

Well take care, I hope that you can continue to feel better, but also get some needed sleep;) Keep posting!
Scaredy Cat
Posted 5/3/2011 4:13 AM (GMT 0)
help! Its 5am and i cant sleep. Desperately want to cry or run into my parentsroom and scream for help and a hug. I feel like the whole world is pressing down on my. My body feels numb i cant feel my tongue or myself breathing. I wish this would end, i cant og on feeling so unhappy. The thought of getting up for work is unbareable. I know its all my own fault as ive spent the weekend abusing alcohol, feel sick to my stomach but when i feel like i cant breath its like a lifeline. I hate myself for this as i know its a bad path to og down, sadly im already down it. God what have i done! How could i let it get this bad? In a few hours i will be up and painting my false smile on for the world and no1 will notice inside im screaming, i will be having random freak outs and locking myself in the work toilets till the dizzyness subsides. Still feel like i cant breathe. Every movement in my body terrifies me like its going to let me down. I just want to sleep!!!!
Posted 5/3/2011 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
How are you doing now P.C.? It's going to be okay, you just need to get back on track. Drink lots and lots of water, eat some good/nutritious food, and do some breathing/relaxation exercises. Then when you can, take a nap and repeat!

Let us know how you are doing soon,
S.C.
Posted 5/3/2011 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
Much better thanks! Off to the doctors tomorrow, cant cope with this alone anymore. I really hope the doc helps but im reluctant to take any drugs! Fingers crossed. Had a dreadful attack in the car with my mum today, barely managed to hold it together (she doesnt have a clue about my anxiety, she just notices how snappish and rude i am) thought i was going to throw up, or my lung was going to explode! If i was feeling my proper range of emotions i would cry, but all i feel is numb inside.thanks for your support its incredible you take your time to help all these people out of the goodness of your heart!
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