Hello all, I haven't posted in quite a while and a lot has gone on. Up to very recently, thinking about going back to my old job with the United States Postal Service would have been an absolute "NO" because of all the psychological damage this entity has caused me over the last twenty-one years. But now it seems that my panic attacks have lessened, my depression is abated. But the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is trying to hang on tight and rob me of everything that I have learned via group cognitive-behavioral counseling and therapy. There were so many bad things that happened to me via supervisors and other workers that I start thinking about whether I will have to go through all that again, and if so, how will I handle it? Do I really have the strength spiritually and emotionally? I think at this point I would run, but I have prayed and asked God to let me know whether returning to these people is His will. I will likely know soon, as I am awaiting responses from four psychiatrists and one therapist on whether I am ready to return. Also, they have to say in their letters that I was "incapacitated" from work during the time they treated me. One psychiatrist won't do it, so that's one letter going south as far as my being allowed back on the workroom floor.
Folks, I am feeling anxious, worried and having flashbacks about all this. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go through this trial. I love you all and keep safe.
Camylou